Do you think it's appropriate for women to train with men?

[evergrey]

The age thing is definitely an issue. But to be very, very honest, as a 23-year-old female, if I were grappling with a good looking male anywhere near my age, I would probably be having distracting thoughts. Nothing very inappropriate, but enough that it would be distracting.

The funny thing for me is that in the heat of combat, I forget about gender altogether. That's how I ended up mashing an instructor's hands against my chest and dragging him around in the middle of kumite. Hah, I wasn't thinking about anything but "he can't hit me if I trap him!"

It wasn't until I saw the video of it that I realized how it looked, and how studiously he was looking away, haha!

But he had already gotten my speech of "I want to be seen and treated as a martial artist, not a girl," so he didn't comment, heh!

Anyway yeah, I think about attack, defense, how to come out on top, and what I should try next. *shrug*

[honoluludesktop]

The age thing is definitely an issue. But to be very, very honest, as a 23-year-old female,........

Like my daughter, you probably think that 23 is old enough to know better, and take care of yourself. But teenage hormones, been there, done that. Most parents would try to keep their young, and old daughters as safe as possible.

Sorry, as you can see, I am a overprotective dad.

The funny thing for me is that in the heat of combat, I forget about gender altogether. That's how I ended up mashing an instructor's hands against my chest and dragging him around in the middle of kumite.............

Hardly a description of finesse in kumite. You must be physically big or very strong to drag your instructor around by holding his hand.

I think it is great for boys and girls, men and women to train together. But when teenagers are involved, IMO, there are some lines that are best respected. Adult males have to be very careful rolling around on the ground with teen girls. IMO, teenage boys, and girls, should keep apart when on the ground. The exception to this may be in refereed matches. May not sound fair, but better then having other problems. Also IMO, karate poses less problems then grappling.

As for being a martial artist, rather then male or female. While that thought may be politically correct, being female rather then male is a quality no different then tall or short, muscular or skinny. A martial artist must take everything into consideration as factors in a match. On the "rock" there are many women who climb better then men because they cultivate technique rather then strength. There are aspects a woman can use to her advantage over a man, and she should study using them. The "martial way" is not just in the physical fight.

[evergrey]

I'm a big heavy girl, and I had him in a trap... trapped both his hands, and was headed for trying a wrist lock.

He could have gotten away, had he chosen to resort to slamming his knee into my midsection... but since I'm a white belt and we were playing lightly in fun that day, it didn't happen.

[Soheir]

As for being a martial artist, rather then male or female. While that thought may be politically correct, being female rather then male is a quality no different then tall or short, muscular or skinny. A martial artist must take everything into consideration as factors in a match.

Well said!

I think it is great for boys and girls, men and women to train together. But when teenagers are involved, IMO, there are some lines that are best respected.

Yes, there is. But even when leaving out the importance of practicing with men too, it helps to gain confidence in grappling and in stand up fighting. It also expands one's outlook on sparring/grappling.

Also IMO, karate poses less problems then grappling.

Truly. (lets not forget how many different karate styles there is.)

[bushido_man96]

I think it is great for boys and girls, men and women to train together. But when teenagers are involved, IMO, there are some lines that are best respected. Adult males have to be very careful rolling around on the ground with teen girls. IMO, teenage boys, and girls, should keep apart when on the ground. The exception to this may be in refereed matches. May not sound fair, but better then having other problems. Also IMO, karate poses less problems then grappling.

I can see what you are getting at here, but I'd have to disagree at keeping them apart that much. When it comes down to having to defend yourself, you don't get to choose who you are going to fight with. Therefore, its important for the practitioners to expose themselves to as many different body types as possible, and that includes crossing genders. In the end, it is important for the instructors to keep a close eye on what is going on when the opposite sexes are rolling together, so that the training stays focused, and doesn't become a session of snickers and whatnot because they have no self-control.

[sensei8]

I'm a big heavy girl, and I had him in a trap... trapped both his hands, and was headed for trying a wrist lock.

He could have gotten away, had he chosen to resort to slamming his knee into my midsection... but since I'm a white belt and we were playing lightly in fun that day, it didn't happen.

Best escape tool...TICKLE THEM A LOT!!

[Davisonsensei]

I think its totally appropriete. It is good to cross train between guys and girls, big and small, old and young. That prepares students to not limit a body style when training better yet self defense as we can not choose a body style of an assilant trying to attack. but i will say this, its up to us guys to act with respect when at the dojo. we are all trying to accomplish a goal together, as brothers and sisters.

[Lupin1]

but i will say this, its up to us guys to act with respect when at the dojo.

What, you think us ladies aren't capable of disrespecting men?

[evergrey]

I'm a big heavy girl, and I had him in a trap... trapped both his hands, and was headed for trying a wrist lock.

He could have gotten away, had he chosen to resort to slamming his knee into my midsection... but since I'm a white belt and we were playing lightly in fun that day, it didn't happen.

Best escape tool...TICKLE THEM A LOT!!

Haha, hey, don't think I haven't been paying attention to who in the dojo is ticklish! I've got at least one green belt's number! Muahaha!

[Wastelander]

...I think it is great for boys and girls, men and women to train together. But when teenagers are involved, IMO, there are some lines that are best respected. Adult males have to be very careful rolling around on the ground with teen girls. IMO, teenage boys, and girls, should keep apart when on the ground. The exception to this may be in refereed matches. May not sound fair, but better then having other problems. Also IMO, karate poses less problems then grappling...

I understand your concerns with the grappling, but I really think that this is a very individualized decision and should take the opinion of both potential training partners. For example, I have seen girls who refuse to work with boys and vice versa, but I have also seen girls refuse to work with girls and vice versa. If you don't take into account the individuals involved then you may have more problems than if you simply don't let them interact.

I regularly stay after classes and work on my kata or basic techniques on the bag, but I also like to work on my judo groundwork if anyone else feels like working it after class. One night after class about 4 years ago one of our female students stayed after and worked groundwork with me for 25 minutes straight (she was 17 and I was 18 ). Basically we rolled around on the mat with each other for half an hour, but during that entire time we were both focused on the techniques we were working--there wasn't a single second of that 25 minutes where I had an inappropriate thought and I don't suspect she did, either. Later it occurred to me that if it had been anyone but the two of us (both very serious about our training) that situation could have become inappropriate and I wondered if our instructor (who was still there, but in his office most of the time) had any concern about it. When I thought about it a bit more, though, I feel as though he trusted both of us because he is the kind of person who will not let two people work together if he does not believe one or both of them can be trusted to do so.

I will also add that I was learned more during that 25 minutes of newaza randori than spending twice that much time working with guys my size and bigger because, while she was certainly strong, she was very technical and used good technique instead of strength like those guys. She also mentioned that she liked working with me because I was stronger than her but fought technique with technique.