Teaching my son martial arts myself

[falling_leaf]

I have a ten year old son who has showed an interest in the martial arts. I started him off with the basics. I'm perfectly qualified to teach but I was looking at the pros and cons. Some advice from those who have done it. There are definitely no quality schools in my area IMO. I do see a hurdle when it comes time to spar since I'm not the size of a ten year old. Would a school let my kid spar only for a mat fee?

Any feedback would be helpful

[wolverine uskf]

I'm doing the same thing, with my 13 and 16 year olds. They want to spar, but the 16 year old is 6' and 170lbs, and the 13 year old isn't big enough or agressive enough to hold up to him. If you were close i would say your boy could spar with the younger one. My wife worries about me sparring at all with my bad arm, so i'm trying to find someone for both of them to spar with.

[Lupin1]

Does your son have any friends who might want to learn with him? For most kids, karate lessons are a social thing as well as learning the skills. It's like cub scouts or basketball. He might miss that aspect of it if he's training all alone. Plus be prepared to clash with him on occasion. Kids respond differently when their mom or dad is teaching them as opposed to someone else teaching them.

[sensei8]

Would a school let my kid spar only for a mat fee?

I can only assume that those schools that would allow this are far and few in between. For what reasons? To varied to pinpoint, imho.

[RW]

It's better than no MA teaching but... (and take everything I say lightly, because I have no kids, so I got no idea of what I'm talking about )

Karate is also about the competition. Trying to defeat the kid in front of you (score more points, or hit him more times, or even do a kata better than him). The kid in front of him is an "opposing force" (even if it's in a sporty, friendly, camaraderie-filled atmosphere). Your son would be able to practice his newly acquired skills with different kids with different skillsets and profiles.

When he's practicing with his father, he will acquire skills and techniques (probably even better than in a dojo, since he will be getting 100% of the attention, all the time!), but he will lack the whole "opposing person" experience. I guess that private teaching (by you) and dojo would complement each other nicely.

If that is not an option for the reasons you stated, I see nothing wrong with you teaching him karate, except for the fact that he will lack the competition aspect I mentioned before and that he'd not get an "official" belt...

[isshinryu5toforever]

The pros are as stated above, 100% of the time your focus is on him. He can learn quickly, and he can ask a ton of questions if he needs to. The downside is that you're a parent. Your son might complain at times, or he might think you should cut him some slack. As a martial arts instructor, you can't do that, but as a parent, you might want to. There may also come a time when he needs a different teacher to help him grow. That can be a tough thing to realize, or even spot.

As far as rank is concerned, what RW said is not entirely accurate. It depends on the rank of the poster. They may be authorized to award real rank affiliated or unaffiliated. If they're affiliated, and they have kept up on their membership dues, then the rank is "real" anywhere. If they are unaffiliated, or have lapsed on their dues, then the rank will be a dojo rank, but still easily recognizable if their child has the appropriate skill. My Isshinryu Karate school is unaffiliated, so I have a dojo rank of yondan, but my skill tends to speak for itself when I travel, so it is recognized by other dojo. When I have children, if I were to grade them, it would definitely be when they've exceeded my expectations for rank, so they would likely be able to get their rank recognized.

[honoluludesktop]

Even if you offered a mat fee, the request would sound like a challenge.

Think about it, would a teacher risk his paying student against a unknown? If it were me, I would require your sons to attend a class so that I could gauge their skills. I would then only allow them to spar against someone clearly superior. But why would a senior person risk hurting, or getting hurt, either physically or emotionally, in a match with an outsider. He wouldn't, and may decide to take out your sons. Not a good thing for either side.

You could enter them in competitions. If you do this, make sure that they understand point sparring. You don't want them to be responsible for hurting others because they don't know the restrictions that come with with point sparring.

I believe in one step sparring, and semi free sparring. IMO, there is no better way to learn how to give, and take. When there are three of you, with your experience you should be able to control, yet challenge their abilities. The bigger, stronger one always takes the role of the mentor, the other as the student.

Here's an idea. If you are a qualified teacher, start your own school, and recruit a limited number of students. Make sure you have insurance, get the student's parents to sigh a agreement clarifying legal issues, and be available to teach in a organized way.

[bushido_man96]

I think it is great to teach your sons like this. My dad taught me and my brothers like this for a short time, and I loved it.

Now, as for finding a place for your son to spar, I think you can find a place, but you need to approach the situation delicately, and respectfully, and make sure that your son knows, understands, and abides by all the rules of the dojo you go to spar too. I'm sure you already know this, but it is something to keep in mind. You already mentioned that there are no quality schools in your area, in your opinion, and should keep this in mind when you take your son to places. It might not be something you want your son to mention at the class when asked why he doesn't just sign up there (kids say the darndest things! ).

All in all, your not in an insurmountable position. I remember when one of my ATA instructors knew some guys from other styles, and after one of the classes during the week, those guys would come in, and have some friendly sparring sessions using different rules and stuff. So it can be done. Its just finding the right people to do it with.

[falling_leaf]

Some good discussion! I really appreciate your points. I know longer have a desire to teach several students... at least not at this time. I would think it to be unfair to my sons friends to be basically a training partner/dummy just to better my son. Being my son I fear I couldn't truly be fair and do not want to put a kid in that type of situation, But I may need to revisit this idea in the future.

As far as a mat fee, it would be a delicate situation not to be disrespectful. I would hope one would look at it not as a challenge but as a growth opportunity to spar with someone new. I have no problem with him going with a higher caliber student, I would expect that and do the same. Hopefully once the instructor gauges his skill level his students and mine will have an opportunity to get better.

I came from a traditional school that did not pump out belts. So I'm not so concerned with him being ranked until its time to enter a competition. At that time I could determine what class he should be in. But for me to rank requires experience which puts me back to square one with finding partners...

Man I love the idea of a father teaching his son but I realize the limitations.

[isshinryu5toforever]

The partner problem is a real problem. You could go to local open tournaments and let him enter. It would give him a chance to put to the test some of the stuff he's learned. That all depends on what the tournaments are like near you. As you've said you don't like the different martial arts schools near you, I'm guessing you're not big on their tournaments either?