Cannot spar effectively without serious aggression

[Kenny86]

Hello all. I am a relatively new martial artist. I practice Kihon Karate, and my Shihan also emphasizes Jiu Jitsu as well. I have recently achieved my orange belt, and in our club, thats the point where emphasis on sparring really picks up.

I am usually well tempered, and do care for the safety of my partners, but here is my problem... I am too timid, for fear of hurting my partner while sparring. This results in me being the "loser" or more on the receiving end of the fight. Sometimes a certain strike that I receive however, will spark an adrenaline rush in me (Anger/Rage), and for the rest of the training session, that rage/rush allows me to dominate most of anyone I spar against.

My issue is now, that I know this is wrong. Martial arts is supposed to be about discipline, and control in a combat situation - not losing my cool. So what I would like to know, is how do you guys find the balance? How do you spar in an aggressive/effective way without being a push over, with out losing your cool and just trying obliterate your opponent as a result of anger? Im always on one extreme, I can't seem to find my balance.

Thanks in advance

[joesteph]

When you're in your holding back mode, you're building up steam; you're creating it yourself as you generate your own stress. When you're struck, and it's hard, it's likely by accident, but, like a pressure cooker with the lid off, you explode. It's an overreaction by you if the hard blow is by accident, and accidents in a martial art are common.

The first thing, to me, is to open up so that the steam doesn't build up. Next is to know who your sparring partner is. If it's hard and you know the person isn't a dojo bully, you'll likely take it more in stride. (If you know it's a bully, give back as good as you got--immediately, don't let it build up.)

When I did noncontact sparring, there are those who struck me who I knew meant no harm. When I sparred in a fighting school, I wore gear, we went at it with gusto, and it was great. I left only because of health reasons; I was repeatedly pushing myself to a cardio limit.

You know, I've found it's good to get hit a number of times so that you desensitize. When a friend--and that's what other students are supposed to be, dojo friends--hits too hard, it's then just shrugged off.

Start off sparring with gusto, Kenny, and don't let the pressure build up; you don't want to be a hair trigger.

[Kuma]

A lot of it takes time to get comfortable with. The main thing is to understand that deep down this is supposed to be fun. Sparring is not really a fight per say, it's more about a technical exchange between two people scaled to the level of the less experienced person. It's a learning tool more than a competitive one. Understanding this and taking it to heart really helps in the long run.

[joesteph]

A lot of it takes time to get comfortable with. The main thing is to understand that deep down this is supposed to be fun. Sparring is not really a fight per say, it's more about a technical exchange between two people scaled to the level of the less experienced person. It's a learning tool more than a competitive one. Understanding this and taking it to heart really helps in the long run.

Insightful observations, Kuma.

[BDPulver]

I had this same problem when i first started too. Had a bad temper. My sensei would spar me to help me overcome my temper and hypernense till i started to learn to control it.

it takes time to master that kind of control but in the long run it is worth it.

I use to be told the worse thing in a fight is 2 people with a hot head. So once I learned how to control it I became the cool one while controlling the hot head now.

[sensei8]

Aggression is an emotion and it's only effective if it's controlled. Anything short of controlled aggression is, imho, a means without purpose.

Check out what Bruce Lee had to say about emotions...

Lee: [a student approaches Lee; both bow] Kick me.

[student looks confused]

Lee: Kick me.

[student attempts kick]

Lee: What was that? An Exhibition? We need emotional content. Now try again!

[student tries again]

Lee: I said "emotional content." Not anger! Now try again!

[student tries again and succeeds]

Lee: That's it! How did it feel?

[student thinks; Lee smacks his head]

Lee: Don't think. FEEL. It's like a finger pointing at the moon.

[Looks at student who is looking at the finger; smacks student again]

Lee: Do not concentrate on the finger or you will miss all of the heavenly glory!

[student bows; Lee smacks him again]

Lee: Never take your eyes off your opponent... even when you're bowing!

[student bows again this time keeping his eyes on Lee]

Lee: That's better.

Mizu no kokoro is often translated as “mind like water.” This is a lovely phrase which is too inexact to be very helpful, standing alone. What is meant by this is to make the mind calm when facing an emergency or an adversary. The calm mind, like still water, accurately reflects all that comes before it. It is otherwise referred to as fudoshin or “immovable mind.”

Tsuki no kokoro is usually translated as a mind like the moon. This refers to the necessity of maintaining surveillance over one’s surroundings at all times. As the bright illumination produced by the unclouded full moon as it reflects its light earthward, so the mind must be aware of all conditions surrounding it. This is often described as zanshin or kan-ken futatsu no koto, or “perceiving with both the eyes and the intuitive mind.”

The emotion of aggression must be controlled while sparring. Why? Negative aggression refers to behavior between members of the same species that is intended to cause pain or harm. Is your intent to cause pain or harm while sparring? Of course you're not! Therefore, control your negative aggression at all times.

[wolverine uskf]

If you can learn to focus your feelings, they can create a focused power you don't have yet. When you get hit, and you feel like your getting angry, instead of exploding, consentrate on releasing the energy you feel in smaller amounts, spread it out a little bit in each block and strike, instead of all at once. The best way for me to describe it is, don't explode just burn, you won't tire out as fast either. If i sound crazy, then i probably am, but this is how i learned control and focus.

[Montana]

A lot of it takes time to get comfortable with. The main thing is to understand that deep down this is supposed to be fun. Sparring is not really a fight per say, it's more about a technical exchange between two people scaled to the level of the less experienced person. It's a learning tool more than a competitive one. Understanding this and taking it to heart really helps in the long run.

Good point! I'd also like to add, depending on the system you are taking, and that it takes time to get to this point in your evolution as a martial artist, but eventually you'll sort of detach yourself from the "fight" mentally and just react to your opponent movements.

I'm 6'6" tall and 245 lbs and very non-aggressive when I fight. I find I seldom look at my opponent(s) directly unless I'm watching them and coaching them at the same time. If we're just fighting, my mind sort of detaches from the situation and I just react to my opponents moves. I'm very calm and relaxed and waste very little energy (which is good, because I'm getting OLD! ).

[Tzu-Logic]

I have felt aggression rise up inside before during sparring.

I was sparring with a lower ranking person and he tagged me right in the face.

Right after he hit me I charged in and completely dominated him, but I felt dirty afterwords because I had used my anger to make him feel silly.

When I am sparring a lower belt that I can dominate easily I never want to humiliate them completely...

I should have praised him for slipping one past me rather than get revenge.

lessons learned....

[sensei8]

Aggression learnt is aggression applied!

Aggression begat from anger is dangerious in any dojo and in any drill; kumite is no exception.

We, no matter who we are, must teach those less experienced than us appropriately. Not to embarrass, not to humiliate, and/or not to ridicule. If those less experienced than us "score" on us, then we should respectfully acknowledge the technique, even if the technique was missing a certain degree of control. There was once a time when those of experience had no experience at all, but they learnt the lesson at hand, therefore, so will those of little experience.

Remember, TEACH in all things!