Definining humility ?

[Bon]

How do you define humble ?

 

Until recently, I've thought of humble as NOT taking any credit at all and believing you aren't good at all.. I just realised, I have no trouble listening to someone talk about their achievements, accomplishements, providing they don't think they're better than what they are, or imply some kind of superiority over you. I now believe you come across as arrogant when you think you're better than what you really are. Just last night, a mate of mine was telling me he was just starting to 'tune' this girl, when another mate stole her away. He's good looking, but he treats girls like dirt and has no respect which is why none of them go out with him. The girl he was 'tuning' later said he was too ratty for her. That's when my opinion of humble changed. He KNOWS he's good looking, but since he thinks that makes him God's gift to women and boasts about it every time you speak to him, he comes across as arrogant. He thinks because of one quality he has, it makes him a great person, at least that's the impression he gives to everyone else. The other mate, who 'stole' the girl is good looking too. It's obvious the ladies want him, in his mind I believe he knows that he's attractive. When he talks about girls, I have no trouble listening, because he doesn't do it in a boastful way, I'm sure it'd sound boastful if you didn't know him and he just started talking to you about it, but since I know how 'good' he really is, I have no trouble at all listening to the 'smooth' things he does to a girl he likes, or his stuff ups - he can swallow his pride unlike some.

 

Thoughts ? I didn't use martial arts, because I wanted to talk about being humble in general...

 

 

 

 

[Jack]

Well, the oxford dictionary states that humble means...

 

Nevermind that.

 

I would define humble not as completely discrediting yourself and drastically underplaying what you've achieved, but more as being quietly happy with what you have achieved without getting caught up in your own success, but also not saying great things about yourself that are not true. Being able to take a compliment with a smile and not think you are god's gift to women/life/martial arts. A lot of it is about knowing your place, but that also applies if you are better off than someone. Say you can bench 200lbs and your friend can only bench 120lbs. You may offer him advice and guidance, but you shouldn't tease him about it and remind him constantly that you're stronger than him.

 

'Humbleness' is accepting that you are only one person in a world of 6 billion, and that everyone has their own problems and achievements in life and so you should not expect them to pay excessive attention to yours since they are busy with their own, and many other people's.

 

 

[KickChick]

Humility is a state of mind that comes from a realistic and relatively accurate knowledge of your abilities and limitations. Being humble amounts only to recognizing who you really are, followed by a sincere attempt to become what you can be.

 

 

[Taikudo-ka]

Jack has a good definition there.

 

- "Being able to take a compliment with a smile and not think you are god's gift "

 

I was going to say this part... Basically most people given a compliment either rabidly deny it, which is really just fishing for more compliments, or take it as given. Compare:

 

- "You look good"

 

- "Oh, no, surely not. I think I look fat?"

 

- "You look good"

 

- "I know, I'm so darned good I'm bad!"

 

- "You look good"

 

- "Thank you".

 

The first one matches Bon's description of his "earlier" view of humbleness as totally discrediting yourself, but really, that's false humility. Actually you're hoping for the "No, you look really trim. Really great!" extra compliment.

 

I would define humbleness as a quiet confidence which needs neither to boast nor grovel, yet acknowledges that there is always someone better, always something new to learn, even if you haven't found it yet.

[Red J]

This is a good topic. People who need to boast about their importance or skill are not humble. True humility is the person who goes about their business and does not let success go to their head. People who have this quality are down to earth and can see what everyone has to offer. They do not put themselves above others. They always remain teachable for they know that an open mind brings more knowledge and success.

 

When speaking of this topic, a friend joked, "If I were humble, then I would have everything". Truely, this statement purposely misses the boat, but you can see it in some people's lives. People who feel that they have all the answers, or who make excuses for their mistakes, are only hurting themselves for their opportunities for personal growth and success are limited.

[spinninggumby]

Yes, I agree with KickChick. Humility is acknowledging and realizing your accomplishments and crediting yourself with them, but also showing restraint and being able to refrain from boasting or bragging. Also, it is important to acknowledge that no matter where you are in life, there is always room for improvement and weaknesses to build and improve upon, and to express and carry yourself in a manner so that this attitude inside you shows and delivers the intended message to people.