Outside the Dojo Etiquette

[gavn8r]

My sensei is approximately my age. We have the same level of education. Our kids are about the same age (his are a little older). So my question is this: When we're outside the dojo, what should I call him? Should I call him sensei? Should I call him by his first name? What?

[bushido_man96]

I didn't vote, because it is going to be different for every sensei out there. Some like the title outside of the school, and may insist on it. Some will be more lax with it.

Personally, I don't like calling anyone "sir" or "sensei" outside of the class, but that is just me.

[ninjanurse]

In my current school we greet each Black Belt as Mr/Mrs/Miss and the Master Instructor as Sifu. In my previous school everyone was referred to by their informal title (cho gyo nim, Sah bum nim, etc). My husband's students (and my students as well) refer to him as Professor-even I do when out in public. However, our first Shotokan sensei always preferred to be called by his first name-even in class.

[Spodo Komodo]

I use the general rule for everyone in life, not just Martial Arts teachers. I use their professional title in their place of work (doctor, nurse, professor, sensei etc.) and Mr. or Mrs. Surname in other social situations unless they inform me to the contrary. Over-formality is always more acceptable than over-familiarity, the former may be the cause of humour but the latter may be the cause of offence.

[Lupin1]

I call all my instructors Mr. ______ both inside or outside the dojo. I see it as no different than calling my high school teachers Mr/Mrs _______ when I saw them in the supermarket. Heck, I even still call my college professors Professor or Dr. _______ and I've been graduated over a year and one of my professors pretty much adopted me into his family-- I went and visited them for Thanksgiving and everything, but I still wouldn't call him anything other than Professor or Dr. _______ (although I've been known to call him dad or "Dr. Dad"). If I respect someone and they've ever been in a position over me, I tend to show them that respect even outside the realm of that position.

Now if the person was a peer, that might be different. Like I don't still call the kids who were over me in JROTC "sir" (but then again, I didn't at the time). If my karate instructor was my age, I'd probably call him by his first name both inside and outside the dojo.

[gavn8r]

Yeah, I'm thinking over formality until I'm informed otherwise is the wisest course of action. Thanks for that.

[GeoGiant]

We have 6 black belts that teach at my school but we all train under one instructor. Everyone is referred to as Sir in class. Outside of class I call the BBs by their first name..... I still refer to our instructor as Sir.

[Lupin1]

I think calling people sir outside of class has a lot to do with geograph, too. For the US, at least, calling people sir and ma'am seems to be the norm in the south but it's usually taken as a insult in the north. When I was student teaching in the south, students were expected to call me ma'am, but up here I'd call my teachers ma'am (I was in JROTC and it was something we were taught in that program) and they'd get mad at me because up here it implies they're really old.

[Shizentai]

When I was student teaching in the south, students were expected to call me ma'am, but up here I'd call my teachers ma'am (I was in JROTC and it was something we were taught in that program) and they'd get mad at me because up here it implies they're really old.

This is so true! Though being a southerner I see the situation more like this: In the north people speak more formally on a whole, but don't say sir or mam for some odd reason. Meanwhile, in the south (or at least in my corner of it) people will call you "sir" or "mam" and then proceed to talk to you, or anyone else in the same manner as they would a close family member.

It's kinda backwards and strange. o_o

oh right... also, I call my sensei "name + sensei" outside of the dojo.

This is because I have trained with a good number of different instructors over the years, many of whom know each other, and it's better to clarify one from another when, say we're all out together.

[DWx]

I use the general rule for everyone in life, not just Martial Arts teachers. I use their professional title in their place of work (doctor, nurse, professor, sensei etc.) and Mr. or Mrs. Surname in other social situations unless they inform me to the contrary. Over-formality is always more acceptable than over-familiarity, the former may be the cause of humour but the latter may be the cause of offence.

I go by this rule My uni has a policy that we can call lecturers by their first name but I will still go by Dr. and Prof until they say otherwise.

I do call my instructor and his wife by their first names outside class though as they've known me since I was a kid and we're pretty good friends.