Have you ever been the target of a bully?

[sensei8]

As for helping someone who is targeted by bullies, I usually do because I know what its like to be there (as a kid anyway) and its just one of those things that really peeves me. Actually I sorted out one of kids at TKD the other week who was bullying the other kids. He was boasting to all the other kids he was the best sparrer there and kept smacking some of the others on the head and in the arm saying their reflexes weren't good enough. Didn't realise I was there so I told him I'd spar him in class and the we'd see how good his reflexes were. In short, I didn't hit him hard as he must be only 13 or 14 but I didn't let up, he ended up crying. Which I felt really bad for but I think he learnt a lesson in humility and was an excellent student for the rest of class.

Imho, this is an inappropriate way for any black belt and/or any instructor to act/react to that type of situation, especially during class. What did that really teach the entire class? One who isn't the instructor has no business taking corrective actions on their own. Matter of fact, the instructor has no business taking corrective actions, and that's what that was imho, in class because instructors have, or should have, other professional methods of disciplining their students. To cause a student, especially a minor student, to cry isn't how we're suppose to help our fellow martial artists. To bully a bully in class would've led me to tell that black belt to go home for that day because this isn't how these type of situations should be dealt with in class; not by any black belt or any rank, and not by the instructor.

How would I have handled that situation? It's simple. I would've quitely instructed that bullying student as well as the parent into my office immediately, and then I would've suspended that student for a week minimum for bullying and I would've explained to that student and parent why bullying isn't allowed in my dojo. In that, I would've also explained why bullying isn't an appropriate action for anybody to display, especially for a martial artist.

Bullying and the martial arts are a oxymoron, and therefore, they should be treat as such.

[Jeffrey]

As for helping someone who is targeted by bullies, I usually do because I know what its like to be there (as a kid anyway) and its just one of those things that really peeves me. Actually I sorted out one of kids at TKD the other week who was bullying the other kids. He was boasting to all the other kids he was the best sparrer there and kept smacking some of the others on the head and in the arm saying their reflexes weren't good enough. Didn't realise I was there so I told him I'd spar him in class and the we'd see how good his reflexes were. In short, I didn't hit him hard as he must be only 13 or 14 but I didn't let up, he ended up crying. Which I felt really bad for but I think he learnt a lesson in humility and was an excellent student for the rest of class.

Imho, this is an inappropriate way for any black belt and/or any instructor to act/react to that type of situation, especially during class. What did that really teach the entire class? One who isn't the instructor has no business taking corrective actions on their own. Matter of fact, the instructor has no business taking corrective actions, and that's what that was imho, in class because instructors have, or should have, other professional methods of disciplining their students. To cause a student, especially a minor student, to cry isn't how we're suppose to help our fellow martial artists. To bully a bully in class would've led me to tell that black belt to go home for that day because this isn't how these type of situations should be dealt with in class; not by any black belt or any rank, and not by the instructor.

How would I have handled that situation? It's simple. I would've quitely instructed that bullying student as well as the parent into my office immediately, and then I would've suspended that student for a week minimum for bullying and I would've explained to that student and parent why bullying isn't allowed in my dojo. In that, I would've also explained why bullying isn't an appropriate action for anybody to display, especially for a martial artist.

Bullying and the martial arts are a oxymoron, and therefore, they should be treat as such.

This is a great example. Getting the parents involed is always the best way to go.

[Martialart]

Imho, this is an inappropriate way for any black belt and/or any instructor to act/react to that type of situation, especially during class. What did that really teach the entire class?

That might makes right. Something all bullies already know. Bullying a bully makes the bully worse--maybe not to you, but later on to someone else.

[sensei8]

Imho, this is an inappropriate way for any black belt and/or any instructor to act/react to that type of situation, especially during class. What did that really teach the entire class?

That might makes right. Something all bullies already know. Bullying a bully makes the bully worse--maybe not to you, but later on to someone else.

When did I ever say that? I know when...never. I don't approve of anyone bullying anybody at anytime for any reason(s) because two wrongs don't make it right. Especially in class!

[Patrick]

I believe that Martialart was agreeing with you, Bob. You said that bullying a bully doesn't help. And he said that bullying a bully makes the bully worse, maybe not to the person who bullied the bully, but to someone else later down the road (they take it out on that person, instead, in other words).

Thanks,

Patrick

[Sibylla]

It was definitely not my intention to make him cry and I felt extremely bad about it and stopped as soon as I saw he was. It wasn't outright crying anyway, just a little sniffle which stopped as soon as I taught him some stuff to do to stop me catching him. I'm not the instructor btw.

In the dojo mentioned above, with the hyper passive-aggressive head instructor, there was some violent sempai that kept beating on people. In other places I've trained people have been expelled for good for such actions. So imo there is a choice, how do you want to behave, and what do you want to be a part of...?

[Martialart]

I believe that Martialart was agreeing with you, Bob. You said that bullying a bully doesn't help. And he said that bullying a bully makes the bully worse, maybe not to the person who bullied the bully, but to someone else later down the road (they take it out on that person, instead, in other words).

Thanks,

Patrick

Thank you. I couldn't have said it better myself.

[sensei8]

I believe that Martialart was agreeing with you, Bob. You said that bullying a bully doesn't help. And he said that bullying a bully makes the bully worse, maybe not to the person who bullied the bully, but to someone else later down the road (they take it out on that person, instead, in other words).

Thanks,

Patrick

Yes....I do see that now. Never mind Martialart what I said. I apologise!

Time to remove my foot from my mouth!

[Patrick]

No worries.

Thanks,

Patrick

[bushido_man96]

As for helping someone who is targeted by bullies, I usually do because I know what its like to be there (as a kid anyway) and its just one of those things that really peeves me. Actually I sorted out one of kids at TKD the other week who was bullying the other kids. He was boasting to all the other kids he was the best sparrer there and kept smacking some of the others on the head and in the arm saying their reflexes weren't good enough. Didn't realise I was there so I told him I'd spar him in class and the we'd see how good his reflexes were. In short, I didn't hit him hard as he must be only 13 or 14 but I didn't let up, he ended up crying. Which I felt really bad for but I think he learnt a lesson in humility and was an excellent student for the rest of class.

Imho, this is an inappropriate way for any black belt and/or any instructor to act/react to that type of situation, especially during class. What did that really teach the entire class? One who isn't the instructor has no business taking corrective actions on their own. Matter of fact, the instructor has no business taking corrective actions, and that's what that was imho, in class because instructors have, or should have, other professional methods of disciplining their students. To cause a student, especially a minor student, to cry isn't how we're suppose to help our fellow martial artists. To bully a bully in class would've led me to tell that black belt to go home for that day because this isn't how these type of situations should be dealt with in class; not by any black belt or any rank, and not by the instructor.

How would I have handled that situation? It's simple. I would've quitely instructed that bullying student as well as the parent into my office immediately, and then I would've suspended that student for a week minimum for bullying and I would've explained to that student and parent why bullying isn't allowed in my dojo. In that, I would've also explained why bullying isn't an appropriate action for anybody to display, especially for a martial artist.

Bullying and the martial arts are a oxymoron, and therefore, they should be treat as such.

This is a great example. Getting the parents involed is always the best way to go.

I can see both sides of this arguement. One, is handling things diplomaticly. This is usually a good idea, but what can end up happening is the bully gets even angrier, and will attempt to exact revenge when authority figures aren't around, which can end up worse for the person being bullied.

I've been in sparring schools before where we have the problem students who get carried away with pounding on lower ranks or younger students, and after warnings, still do it anyway. The instructors I had at that time would often "send a signal" through sparring, and the address the matter later on. Both can work. In this case above, it wasn't so much a bullying matter, but a control matter. But, if it were me, I'd probably be for taking care of my problems on my own, and see if I could give as good as I got.