What am I doing? Need some help, guys.

[karatekid1975]

Wow! Jack, that sounds like a Mcdojang to me. Sheesh. Maybe you should find a different school. Here's how my school rates (I'll use what you had above):

 

Physical Conditioning?

 

Yes, big time.

 

Realistic, effective self defence?

 

Yes (Chin Na)

 

Mental/Spiritual fulfillment?

 

Yes. Character building, meditation, ect.

 

Motivating instructor?

 

Yell yes. My instructors are tough, but motivating.

 

And I do TKD. So, it's might be just your school, not TKD.

 

 

[Eye of the Tiger]

I agree, just like soft teachers make soft students, unmotivating teahers make unmotivated students.

 

 

[rabid hamster]

I'm sorry to hear that. But explain it to your Dad and I'm sure he'll understand. But do what makes you happy... coz it don't matter what others think.

[Jack]

Thank you all for the replies.

 

 

[SaiFightsMS]

I thought about his a bit Jack before I had even a bit of an idea about how to reply. I think in many ways you are looking for a combination of things that you will not find in any commercial school.

 

Maybe a small group or a teacher/guru/guide or a series of them is what you are looking for. Put out feelers and see if you can find a private teacher or someone who just works with a few people. Maybe even a supplement to what you are doing now would help bring things up to par.

 

Many do not look at the inner things the way you do. Many do not look at the inner side at all. I am currently experimenting with the liturgy of the hours.

 

Then too you are at a point in your life where things change relatively quickly in the scheme of things (whether it seems like it or not).

 

How things were last year will not be the same as they are this year.

 

Excuse my ramblings but he new dosage of depakote hasn't totally kicked in yet.

 

 

[ZakariRu]

Yet more advice

 

Spirtuality isnt neccassary for the martial arts, if your really looking for that, try kendo/kyudo maybe. Shorinji kempo is very very fufilling spiritual as well, i do that on sundays instead of going to temple these days

 

Ive found that i grow much faster as a person if i work on just technique, or just the internal aspects. (except for the goju ryu kata i do they screw up my whole program)

 

I set my spiritual training aside along time ago and said I am taking time out to sit and breathe for me. not just my karate. Ive got a long list of great books on spitrualality/martial arts, let me know if your want the names or for me to stick one in a mail box

 

I always need to sit down and evaluate why im training, sometimes i cant find an answer. when i got back from a tournament in tokyo a in april, i ran my forms like twice to be read for a coming tournament. that was it. I did absolutely nothing but play videogames and read until a month or so ago (nother tournament coming up)

 

So in short, if i wanted just physical fitness id run and jump rope more. If i wanted just spirituality id go to temple and spend more time sitting at home. the only reason i still train is because of how much of my person its part of now and how much i love to stand in front of hundreds-thousands of people and hook kick my best friends from all over the world in the head.

 

Take a break if you need it but just try changing your personal routine before you change your style. (if your dont have fun when you work out at home, dont workout ; - )

 

nuff said

 

 

[Jack]

Thank you all for the replies.

 

Since I dislike arguing with my father verbally, I'm going to email him this. Tell me what you think an old, stubborn, unknowledgable on the subject man would think of this? Start from the simple, adamant viewpoint that I would be a quitter and will have wasted the last year if I stopped TKD.

 

"Why I am not pleased with my TKD School

 

(in no ways hostile towards you, or an insult to your intelligence. I am simple stating my feeling and thoughts about TKD, and my TKD school)

 

Realistic Self Defence?

 

No, my TKD dojang does not provide this. The way they teach is orientated around impressing the black belts at gradings to move up in rank, making pretty kicks, and sparring. The sparring is light contact with many restricting rules. There are no rules in a street fight. We are not taught effective fighting skills in all ranges (kicking, striking, clinching, trapping, grappling, weapons). TKD is learning 'about fighting' but not learning to fight. I do not feel confident defending myself with the skills I have been taught.

 

Spiritual Developement/Mental satisfaction?

 

Again, no. To develope one's mind, several things can be done. One is to be pushed to the physical limit. Due to the instructor's desire to make money, he does not make the classes difficult enough because he does not want to scare students that are not into that away. He also does not teach about the internal aspects of the martial arts, such as centering, deep breathing, use of breathing, or meditation. The lessons do not relax me, improve my confidence particularly, or develope myself.

 

Motivating instructor?

 

Not really. When a new student enters the class, he quickly brings up the topic of money and how much he wants to paid, when he wants to be paid, etc. etc. A true martial arts instructor would give several free lessons, offer advice, information, and give the prospective student complete freedom of choice before arranging fees, instead of pressuring them into paying. How this affects me is that if he is more interested in making money than teaching his students, then after I have payed him he has got what he wants, and he will not have to give me a whole lot of attention to correct what I'm doing.

 

Other...

 

Whenever we do train in self defence techniques, he does not particularly focus on making them work quickly, safely, and efficiently, but he does mention a lot on what you want to do to make the technique "look" better for the black belts grading you, to move up in rank.

 

Some of what he says about real fighting is very unrealistic, and takes for granted that techniques will work and never supplies us with backups incase it doesn't. He is telling the students here that certain techniques will work 'you kick him in the knee with that and he will be down,' but - 9/10 times that just won't work and then the students who will not have been taught what to do if it fails will most likely end lying on the sidewalk and mugged.

 

I don't want to make this school seem really terrible, it is not. It is an enjoyable class, but that is all I get out of it - a bit of enjoyment. I do not get the mental satisfaction, spiritual developement, health benefits, or importantly realistic self defence in case of a fight occuring. The instructor seems interested in money, moving students up in grade quickly, making money off of their ambition to be a blackbelt. (3 years for a black belt? It should take 5 or more, in far eastern places it can take 20 years of intense military-like training every day to receive a black belt).

 

I am sure you will ask 'Why not find another TKD Dojang?' so here is the answer in advance. Taekwondo revolves around kicking, but has very little emphasis on other ranges. So after a kick is executed, it will probably not put him down, and then we will be in hand ranges. We'll be evenly matches, but as happens in most fights he would dive on me with a bearhug or grab of somekind. We are not trained in this, I would not know what to do. So he would hurt me pretty bad and probably land me on the floor. I have no training here either, so he would lay a world of hurt on me, steal my wallet, phone, etc. and make his way off. All TKD focuses on kicking, with some hand striking. And I do not want to solely concentrate on that or if someone were to really attack me, I would be unable to effectively defend myself.

 

So, surely you can see why I am displeased with my Taekwondo. Please do not accuse me of being a simple 'quitter' for I fully intend to make the most of my life, and would like to seek out another form of martial art that fulfill my desires. Ideally, a simple fighting style like Kickboxing for fighting skills, Tai Chi for mental satisfaction and spiritual developement, along with weightlifting and jogging for physical conditioning would provide me with everything I need in that section of my life to be happy, fit, and able to defend myself if the need occurs."

 

Thank you again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[KickChick]

Jack,

 

Being a mum of 3 children ... I have clearly stressed to them that I will stand beside them 100% in whatever they want to do in their lives. I have shown them that the world is open to them and if I can make something happen for them if they so desire it .... I will try. (Not that I spoil them or anything!)

 

All 3 of my children have taken different routes as far as extracurricular activities ... i.e. sports, arts, schooling.

 

My daugher "quit" 3 yrs. ballet for taekwondo ... but did get her black belt.

 

She quit taekwondo soon afterwards to go back to dance and joined a dance team for football and won a national cheerleading/dance championship in that!

 

My older son quit taekwondo at gold belt to start playing football. He played for 5 years and won a football championship the last year.

 

My 8 yr old is this week "stopping" taekwondo (putting it on hold for now) .... to foolow in his older brother's footsteps and to try football. He cannot do both! It is way to stressful for children on top of schoolwork and their "play time". Parents tend to either do too much or too little for their children .... you need to find a good middleground for them.

 

As long as my children are happy with what they are achieving in their lives at the moment .... that is what counts. Just because I was a ballet dancer ...my daughter does not want the same dream as I did.

 

I am a blackbelt in TKD .... my son chose football instead, and I cheered still at every game... as I will be doing shortly with my other son! (.... but he will go back to TKD!...cos' MOM SAYS SO!

 

)

 

You are not a quitter Jack ... you are lucky that you "know" what you want ... and still young enough to work to achieve your goals! Do It! Your dad I am sure will give you his blessings!

 

Another factor in your decision I am sure.... is your involvement here in the forum. It has changed my mind about certain things regarding my own martial arts experience. I believe I was a bit jaded before KF ... my eyes and my scope of learning has been broadened. I do believe I want, no I deserve more in my training. It is up to ones self to do that .... no one can do it for you!

 

_________________

 

KarateForums Sensei

 

1st dan Tae Kwon Do (ITF)

 

Cardio/Fitness Kickboxing Instr.

 

[ This Message was edited by: KickChick on 2002-07-27 14:07 ]

[Jack]

Deby,

 

My dad is being really dissapointed in me and it seems as if he is laying guilty trips into me even if he doesn't mean to, 'what about all the effort you've put in? It will be wasted. What about all the morale support we've given you?'

 

I wish he would stand by me with support and pride for whatever I chose to do.

 

Just venting.