Fear in the Dojo

[WireFrame]

Everyone has something. I've seen a post lately that touched on the fear of pain within the dojo, and I wanted to explore this idea more.

Many people fear pain, of course they do, it's obviously a natural reaction. But martial artists experience more small doses of pain than most people, they learn how it feels to be hit. To a degree anyway.

I'm 1st Kyu, if it makes any difference, and while I've felt pain, and obviously dislike it, often it's pain I know I'm going to get. (ie I'm part of a small demo or explanation to the class - especially in street-application stuff) I stand there and I take it. If I'm hit during kumite, it's unpleasant of course, but I don't think I FEAR it as such, I tend to congratulate my partner's skill and try to recognise what to work on in my own.

What I DO fear, is permanent damage. I have, lets just say not the strongest joints in the world. There's nothing I can do about it except use my muscles to control certain movements so I don't thow my limbs in such a way as to put extra pressure on my joints. So I'm wary of something causing permanent damage to a joint, especially my knees and hips. Listen to me haha, I'm only 26!

So, Fear in the Dojo - Discuss

[joesteph]

I wonder if it's more of a feeling of apprehension than the actual feeling of pain that interferes with a martial artist's training. I think that WireFrame's observation is true, that we feel some measure of pain on a regular basis as we train, but as he's learned to live with it, so is the average martial artist expected to do as well or the art can't be practiced.

Permanent damage!? And while doing an activity that we see as meaningful, as personally fulfilling. I see this not exactly as much a fear of pain as it is a dread of debilitation.

[Lupin1]

Did anyone else, upon reading the subject line, automatically think "FEAR does not exist in this dojo, does it? NO SENSEI!"?

I have to admit I have the same fears. Of course, being still very new to the adult class and the concept of those little bits of pain (the instructor would never demonstrate anything that hurts on kids, but he demonstrates stuff that gives a little pain to us all the time), even those little things scare me sometimes. I see him demonstrate something on each of the black belts and they all yell oww and make a face and say how much it hurts, can you blame me for being scared when it's my turn to experience it? Of course, I apparently take the pain better than the black belts. I tend to laugh when things hurt and pretend they don't. That and according to every tattoo artist I've met, women just have a higher pain tolerance.

I do get a little nervous about getting seriously hurt, though. Maybe not as much as older people-- I'm still in that stage of my youth where I'm deluded into thinking I'm invincible, but the fact that I don't have insurance makes me worry. I'm pretty sure if anything were to seriously happen the club's insurance should cover it (I think), but especially when working with people who are known to not have the best control, I get nervous.

[Shizentai]

I used to be afraid of passing out in karate actually.

I don't know why, but around age 9 to 14 I would randomly black out in the middle of exercise, singing or even just talking. It was scary for me, because I would often lose about 5 min. of my memory before, and during my unconscious state. This would often result in my waking up in a pool of blood from colliding with some random object while I was out. It had gotten to the point where I was not allowed to participate in PE. I was even placed on the bottom row of risers in my school choir in the hopes that when I inevitably fell I wouldn't break my nose (again). More and more, I took the easy path, letting other people assist me, accepting that I was just a weakling, not exerting myself. Yet as I did so, it seemed like my symptoms were getting worse.

When I started training karate, I was understandably quite afraid that I'd pass out and get myself kicked in the teeth or something. Still, I was so tired of people babying me that I decided not to tell my instructor about my condition (which was admittedly very stupid), in the hopes that I'd get treated like everyone else for a change. I decided that if I was going to pass out, it was just going to happen, and that I would fall right there on the dojo floor. I decided that I wouldn't go and sit down on the side like I had in PE or choir or any other activity.

I won't lie, there were many times when I got tunnel vision, lost my hearing/equilibrium, and began to shake as if I was about to pass out. Yet somehow I remained awake. Over several years the symptoms began to fade off. To this day karate seems to have cured my narcolepsy (or whatever it was) completely. I only passed out once during training... rather recently actually, and it was while I was warming up in the beginning of class. lol! go figure.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I have to wonder if all I needed was a little exercise (both mental and physical) to alleviate my problem.

[WireFrame]

dude, that is a fantastic story!

[sensei8]

I was in constant fear of the black belts when I first started taking the martial arts; I was 7 years old. They were much bigger than me. They were much stronger than me. They were much faster than me. They obviously knew much more than me. I don't know why I was in fear of them, but, I was.

I just froze in their presense when they'd address me directly. I'd shake and I'd sometimes draw back into myself and I sometimes couldn't formulate a simple sentence when I was asked a question by a black belt.

Were any of the black belts mean to me? No, on the contrary, the black belts were very kind, but, with they carried themselves with a no-nonsense type of mannerism. Were any of the black belts bully's? No, they were just firm in their verbal orders and the like. Never once were the black belts physically abusvie in any shape, way, and/or form. Still, I was in fear of them.

I can't place my finger on one pulse as to why it is that I felt that way, but, man, I was in constant fear of the black belts. Maybe I was in fear of making a mistake or do something or say something that was wrong and I'd be punished or something.

The fear didn't start to diminish until about 6 months or so into training with these black belts. I think it was the extreme kindness of both our Soke and our Dai-Soke that lessened my fear and this kindness was a comfort.

I was never afraid of my Soke or my Dai-Soke. One might think that I'd be in fear of them also, afterall, they were black belt too....but I wasn't!

[Lupin1]

Awww. That's such a cute story, sensei. I think it's very natural for a 7-year-old to be afraid of big strong black belts. Especially in a very physical enviornment where people are being loud and showing thier strength and there's that air of discipline. A karate dojo is a very different place with different rules and a different culture. It's natural for a kid to be scared at first with all that.

[DWx]

Awesome story Shizentai, very inspiring. Although did you get ever get diagnosed with anything?

Interesting topic WireFrame. I don't really know what I fear in the dojo (dojang to me ). I don't think I fear pain now as its something you get used to over time and learn to manage and I don't really think it bothers me that much. Neither does permanent damage, I don't do things which are reckless but I don't take extra precaution to stop stuff from happening either.

I guess if anything I fear not living up to the standard people perceive me to be, what standard I should be or what my belt and all that is supposed to represent. What I mean is that in my school I'm one of the old students who've been training since the start, also one of the higher ranking belts so the other students and lower grades think that you're going to be awesome and know all of the answers when really I don't at all. I guess this makes me work really hard all the time because I don't want people to see a bad kick or to think that I shouldn't be where I am and that I'm letting everyone down. If that makes sense..

[Blade96]

Since this is about fear in the dojo, maybe I would like to ask, to wonder, Am I the only one who posted here who is without fear? Even from day one, I never feared any of our black belts. or anybody else. On the contrary. I LOVED black belts and loved when I was paired with one instead of a lower rank. In fact, the very first people I made friends with there (other then our senseis) were Brown Belts. I still love black belts. I have a great friendship with my NiDan for example (who said just last night he was intrigued by the fact I caught onto kata heian nidan so well and so FAST! I said to him btw yes i know the movements, but I think of it in terms of a house. You can have the framework of the house already built. But it still needs to be filled up with furniture. and that means I still must work all the time to get it so exactly PERFECT.)

In fact that is one reason my sensei gave for picking me, he said, as one of his fave students. That I was just so comfortable in the dojo and showed no fear of anything. and I also posted in a topic about kiai last year on this forum that it only took me about 2 months to learn kiai (what I like to call the Spirit Cry because it comes from deep within not from your throat and I see it as a reflection of a person's growing spiritual growth and strength, physically, emotionally, and so on.)

I suppose they see me as an unusual white belt because it was pointed out to me that a llot of white belts are a bit unsure of everything (they're just white belts) Whereas I came in knowing exactly what I wanted and what i was looking for. I have posted here before that I went seeking shotokan (the art, not a teacher, despite the fact one should go by teacher, not the art) And that intrigued my senseis I think.

So in a topic about fear in the dojo, I'd also like to ask why some of us have little to no fear. Its simple to know why that MA CAUSES fear, easy to figure out, but why do some of us seem 'born without fear' as I put it, and we are not afraid when we first start a MA? and show such little of it, fear?

[Shizentai]

Awesome story Shizentai, very inspiring. Although did you get ever get diagnosed with anything?

At the time, my pediatrician just chalked it up to being small and underweight. Being a kid, I accepted the explanation (after all, he was a doctor). As an adult though, I learned that my body doesn't absorb iron properly, resulting in iron deficiency anemia. This causes chronic low blood pressure, fatigue, weakness and sometimes loss of consciousness. It's easy enough to treat with large amounts of iron supplements though. So yeah my health has been a lot more enjoyable these past few years.

All I can figure is that exercise increased my blood pressure and oxygen intake, and thus helped circulate oxygen through my body, temporarily relieving my symptoms... though I do study bugs, not people, so take that with a grain of salt. lol