Rage...

[circa02]

I have studied the martial arts first hand for about 5 years, and have read about it for many more. I wish to "get back in the game" some time in the future, but there's a big problem standing in my way; rage terrifies me. Any time I come across someone who is really mad at me, I freeze up, I can't even think well enough to move a muscle. How can I ever advance with this obstacle? My old teacher always used to tell me that fighting is 90 percent mental, and only 10 percent physical. I guess my problem is a testament to that. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

[Lupin1]

Well I would hope that any instructor you'd have would never purposely put you up against someone who was really mad at you during training, although I'm not sure why people in your dojo would be really mad at you...

[circa02]

No, not AT the dojo. I mean in real life; angry people scare me.

[tallgeese]

This is a good thing to note now.

Consider that most people you'll actually have to use your skills against will be in some sort of mental state that approximates this. So, when things really count, you'll be in a situation like the one you describe.

This is a place you can't aford to lock up. However, the good news is you've realized that this is happening and more importantly, you've acknowledged it.

A tiered program of phyical skilll prep and mental conditioning will go along way to overcoming this.

First up, with successful skill performance you'llgain confidence. With the confidnece, you'll be more prone to be successful. It's cycle that you want to get into.

To build into it, start with simulations that mimic reality of fighting someone. It's hard to say if you've been exposed to this "live" training or not. If you haven't, start. By building skills into a more comprehensive, realistic scenario, you'll start to work through your issues.

As your skill and confidnce with a particular set of movements, move into more realistic simulations. This can include and should included partners acting like attackers. Too often I see people trianing agaisnt people squared off in proper stances and such that kiai and throw a prefect and single attack. They never develop the sort of combat mindset needed to overcome actual confrontations. You're attacker should shove, punch, yell, curse- all the sorts of things that will really happen.

Of course, you have to build into this, frist by slowing everything down and taking small bites of skills and working them like this. Then, by intergating them.

Armor works great for allowing you to start getting past the fear of becoming the aggressor. This way, you can pound away a bit more on your "bad guy". You'll probably find it liberating.

With some training like this, espicially when you get to the level that you can work it spontaneously, your confidence will go up. With that, the freeze respone you're talking about will also decrease. By mimicing the adreinline dump response you'll get from facing this sort of attacker you develop the mindset of a "pre combat vetern" where mentally you've already dealt with the attack.

A couple of good reads on mental programming are "On Combat" by Grossman and "Sharpening the Warrior's Edge" by Siddel. I reccommend both.

Lastly, consider doing mental rehearsals vs. that enraged opponent. Make them exercises, not daydreaming, and make them real. Make them scary, mentally, you'll start to desensitise to the event.

Just some suggestions. There's nothing wroing with being afraid of attackers like the type you describe. It's human. By prepping ahead of time and training with those factors in mind you should be able to overcome it.

[Throwdown0850]

I have studied the martial arts first hand for about 5 years, and have read about it for many more. I wish to "get back in the game" some time in the future, but there's a big problem standing in my way; rage terrifies me. Any time I come across someone who is really mad at me, I freeze up, I can't even think well enough to move a muscle. How can I ever advance with this obstacle? My old teacher always used to tell me that fighting is 90 percent mental, and only 10 percent physical. I guess my problem is a testament to that. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

the solution is simple, you have to fight. by that I mean that you shouldn't go out a pick a fight. but in your MA school. or with a buddy that likes to spar. nothing will ever be better than the real thing. so you have to fight in order to lose the fear.

[Kuma]

Realistic training scenarios will help you greatly in this. Rather than you and your partner bowing, assuming formal stances, and beginning the drill, have them approach you aggressively, with shoves and curse words and yelling loudly. This is one thing that many people do not account for in self defense scenarios. An overly intimidating person who grabs you first can often times make a person freeze in their tracks.

[joesteph]

This is a good thing to note now. . . .

[C]onsider doing mental rehearsals vs. that enraged opponent. Make them exercises, not daydreaming, and make them real. Make them scary, mentally, you'll start to desensitise to the event.

Realistic training scenarios will help you greatly in this. . . . [H]ave [your partner] approach you aggressively, with shoves and curse words and yelling loudly. This is one thing that many people do not account for in self defense scenarios.

I think this is the way to go. When I took self-defense JJ, I was shoved at the shoulder by an angry-looking partner, and I adjusted quite well to it, well enough to grow aggressively (but not to harm my partner!) in my response. We did this a number of times, and soon reached the point at which he really "meant" those shoves. I admit it didn't reach the level Kuma refers to, but the idea, as I see it, was to introduce me to the first step before moving to the second.

In self-defense exercises that my Soo Bahk Do teacher has us do from time to time, and to which there are different responses to the same shove, I've told my partners to make them good ones. I'm really that desensitized that I don't want them holding back.

[sensei8]

Emoional content, not anger or fear! Freezing up is a side-effect of fear.

Having a mind like water and a mind like the moon are important aspects to learn and train in in any martial arts. Therefore, without me going into any great details, these sayings are based on this.

Mind Like Water means to BE CALM. Fear and anger both create waves in the water, therefore, the calmness of your mind becomes unable to see and unable to feel and unable to positively react to whatever the situation might be.

Mind Like the Moon means that my thoughts must be able to reflect onto the surface of the water, and anger/fear create clouds and the more fear I have the more clouded my mind becomes...thus I might freeze-up.

Having my mind calm like the water allows me to reflect my thoughts [moon] clearly! As previously mentioned in this thread by Throwdown0850: spar and spar and spar.

Tallgeese's post is solid and bears to be considered as valid ways to address fear--there excellent points!

Having butterflies isn't the same thing as fear, imho! My pastor shared something once that spoke well to me, he said the following....

"Fear simply means, Future Events Appear Real, and in that, fearing the unknown is not believing in yourself and your abilities." My pastor went on further to expand his thoughts, but this is enough. Believe in yourself and in your abilities and train and spar and just relax. It is not 'I' who hits, but, 'it' hits all by itself; this can only happen if one trains in totality daily!

Consider Crocodile Dundee. In the movie, a man attacked him with a knife. His lady friend screamed out for fear but he was at peace. Why? Well, let’s look at what happened. His lady friend said, “He got a knife.” And Mr. Dundee's response was, “that’s not a knife, this is a knife.” After which he pulled out his knife that looked like a machete and the attacker ran off. Mr. Dundee was not afraid because he had a bigger knife.

Same thing for us martial artists. No matter the situation, know that you're "weapon", with is you and your martial arts, is much bigger than whatever your opponent has. Again, believe in yourself and in your abilities! Fear can be both healthy and unhealthy, either way, fear is unbelief; therefore, believe!

Mizu no kokoro (Mind Like Water) and Tsuki no kokoro (Mind Like the Moon! These are vital keys to every martial artist.

Edited January 7, 2010 by sensei8

[Jay]

Good post sensei.

This is something I need to do more in my training.

Also I will try to have a look at those books mentioned earlier.

[white owl]

All good advice.