Embarrassed but need advice

[Jay]

Im having a bit of a hard time understanding.

I don't think I have ever had that problem. It is just a control issue when working at full speed?

You say you get freaked out I guess this could be because you don't trust your partner which is maybe why you feinted. I wouldn't worry about that it can happen it seems panic related. Remember proper breathing is an important part of the martial arts

Its not necessarily a bad attribute to have. If someone attacks you and you clock him then job done really. You always feel bad for hurting your partner but it will happen again I guarantee it.

I think you should stick where you are for the time being. I don't think a different place would solve a problem like this.

[the phoenix]

I was already looking for a different school before this happened. A different style actually.

The instructor is young but seems good and I'm sure he is still learning himself how to handle all the issues that pop up with newbies.

I have felt panic several times now but have been able to work through it without having to stop. I am sticking with a female partner and that helps.

I did catch myself holding my breath when I knew the next exercise was one I'm not comfortable with but knowing I was doing it helped me remember to breath.

I appreciate all the advice, it's very helpful!

[Jay]

Ah okay I understand a little better now.

I think having a female partner is a good idea for the time being. I think in a way its just a confidence type thingy once you know you will be okay after you have done the drill a few times you don't feel so bad.

If you want to do a different style then thats great do what you think is the most effective for you.