Feeling really bad, let my temper get the best of me.

[Capt Jakk]

As a trained therapist, I would say that Bushido Man is on the right track. If you both are interested in staying in the relationship you need to talk about what happened and how to avoid it happening in the future. As silly as it may sound, you need to establish rules for fighting. Ideally, you should stop the argument the moment one of you feels threatened or attacked and say that you will discuss the issue further after a specific amount of time has passed. Following this rule should keep you both from becoming overly angry during a fight. I also suggest avoiding the blame game. The issue is not who is at fault for the incident. The issue is developing a plan so that it doesn't happen again.

As for using a karate move, you crossed a barrier and now feel incredibly guilty. I suggest two things. The first is to apologize to yourself. You sound like you let yourself down because you did something you didn't think you would ever do. Apologize to yourself and move on. Heck, you can even give yourself a punishment if you think it would help. (Nothing to serious though, something on the order of no dessert for a week would be appropriate) This brings me to my second suggestion. Learn from it! You know how this feels so learn to avoid it. Find out when you decided to cross that line to hit your fiance. I'd say that knowing how threatened you must feel in order to respond with an attack is an important thing for a martial artist to know. Know yourself, know your limits. Thats the best way to maintain control.

I wish the best for you and your fiance and I believe you can work through this.

[WiltedRose]

Thanks to everyone for the advice and support. Special thanks to sensei8 who's words were beautiful and really made me smile

Unfortunately he suffered a bruised eye socket after what happened I did apologise and he apologised for his part in it too. But worries me is he says I him him twice, I honestly do not think I did. I think it would be an awkward technique to use twice in that way. It kind of makes me doubt myself however, was I that out of control that I didn't even know I'd done it twice or can I actually trust his words on this? I don't know. I think I would know, surely? and even if I did, I know I wouldn't use that technique twice one after another with the same hand, it wouldn't work.

Anyway, I'm rambling. I've told him if he ever shouts in my face again I will simply walk away and reconsider the relationship.

[The BB of C]

I still think you did the right thing but I have high hopes for you two.

[cryingdady]

I agree with you !

[hx35543]

I agree with the others. The situation was filled with emotion and at some point you felt some sort of action was necessary. Was it the right one, that 's for you to decide. But please don't beat yourself up over it. All you can hope to do is learn from it and move on. We all deal with situations in different ways and make a decision on a spur of the moment, right or wrong. Deal with it and move on. Sometimes it's easier said than done.

I'd bet he thinks twice about getting in your face again.

[Prostar]

My only question, at this point, is what are you taking away from the situation? I'm concerned that you will second guess yourself in the face of danger. Yes, it is a good idea to take a step back if you are ever confronted by the fiance.

As an instructor, one of my favorite teaching moments is when I watch a student sparring, opponent's guard comes open a bit and the kick flies faster than the thought.

Keep the training.

[Preacher]

Interesting topic and responses. Enjoy a good dialogue. I'd like to provide my comments and note- they are not to offend but assist in better understanding what has transpired prior to, as well as since the incident. I would like to include some of your comments and provide my view point from your statements, without making this response into a book.

Anyone that knows me (including the karate class) will tell you I am probably the least violent person they know. I hate confrontation and violence.

That may be true however we all, and yes that means each and everyone of us has a dark side. Some are darker then others, but we all have that in us. Unfortunately, when a person continuously succumbs to the whims, or demands of others to avoid conflict they have a tendency to become unhealthy. Stress, is a killer no if ands or butts about it. So by saying you hate conflict it portrays you avoid conflict. This would then mean it carries over to the employment, and personal life. All that stress buildup is looking for an outlet, and the simplest moment, the most trivial disagreement can become violent, or your valves cannot contain the pressure of the blood flow and pop you've become another statistic.

Communication is good, civil discussions over disagreement's are good. It's a normal aspect. However when the tone of voice changes and the discussion becomes one where the other person is trying to convert your way of thinking or dictate to you. The civil discussion now transforms to an argument. Its best to walk away at that point as civility is out the door and emotions become the viewpoint not the topic. Case in point - No greater conflict in the history of mankind has arisen then that of religion and politics. Nations -People have gone to war over such matters.

Anyway have been having a few relationship problems just lately and last night I got into a huge argument with my fiance'

Maybe the stress of trying to meet a deadline has become an issue. Be it financial or other issue. Push back the big day. Take time off to find each other again. Sit listen- talk-and date each other again. Sounds a little silly but it seems your relationship has hit a snag. Take time out to find each other. Thats what you fell in love with in the first place- the greatest destroyer of any relationship is monotony, then comes finances.

He became extremely angry and started shouting right in my face

Respect is a two way street. Simple words to follow would be never yell at each other unless the house is on fire. Every action causes a reaction, what triggered the angry response. If you take a moment to review what caused the incident instead of what happened during the incident it will help you grow and when the time is right you both can grow through communication.

I lost it completely and struck him in the face

Would it have been so difficult to walk away and take a breather. This seems to go against what you stated previously about being non confrontational. So in essence this argument may have struck a personal note, which is why you could not walk away.

I am shocked and disappointed with myself

OK, let me see if I understand this correctly. You train in a combative art, you do this training 2/3 times a week and now you feel guilty because you struck someone. Since you train in a style that deals with harmony you may want to consider doing Aikido, instead of Wado Ryu. Your ashamed for taking action. No one can determine what caused the explosive action but you but since you committed to taking action. To late to feel remorse, shame, etc look back on the event and learn from it.

If you still feel bad, talk to your instructor. Learn from the discussion.