Dating in the dojo

[Calibrex]

My Si-hing who openned a school started it with his wife. He was still training in Kudoki in Canada at the time he met her. She was training for karate (did not ask which school). They both would aid and practice with each other.

They relocated and moved in to the States and started a small school. It only consists of them, myself, and another older couple who were friends of theres before hand. Now, what threw me off how the relationship works in the dojo. For the first 2 months, I did not even know they were together. My girlfriend spends time with their son and is taken back when I tell her what I see between them in class. She addresses him as her senior, and her as his younger student. He will even call her out because she is the most senior student (not oldest, but most advanced) if she is not working hard enough or performs the wrong step in a kata. We have all injured each other (she gave me a black eye, I elbowed his chin, etc) and still nothing has changed.

BUT it really comes down to the teacher and his methods; senior students/student teachers and them speaking up; and, students having strong values and respect.

[bushido_man96]

In the gym we have a rule: If any of the staff goes out with a student and it results in this person leaving the school because of the break up. The pay off the rest of this persons contract for them. Usually only happens once. lol

Is there any legal way to follow through with that?

[JiuJitsuNation]

Not sure. It's just agreed upon and has been done a couple of times. But when you have a room full of alpha males and some new hott chic walks in the door, you'd just be wasting your breath to say don't do it. Of course I don't have these problems now as my wife and I run Jiu Jitsu Nation. It's better business if you don't have these things going on between staff and students. If nothing else to avoid the whispering and the breaks ups and headaches that come with it. It really was unprofessional and inappropriate. I'm sure that if you are an employee of the school it could be considered conflict of interest and fire this person. But with that comes more headaches.

[GeoGiant]

In the gym we have a rule: If any of the staff goes out with a student and it results in this person leaving the school because of the break up. The pay off the rest of this persons contract for them. Usually only happens once. lol

Is there any legal way to follow through with that?

I was thinking the same thing. I guess if everyone agrees then it should be enforceable just by asking someone keep their word.

[JiuJitsuNation]

I was thinking the same thing. I guess if everyone agrees then it should be enforceable just by asking someone keep their word.

Yeah based on keeping your word.

[bushido_man96]

I was thinking the same thing. I guess if everyone agrees then it should be enforceable just by asking someone keep their word.

Yeah based on keeping your word.

So more of a verbal agreement?

I'll throw in the same pitch I do everytime this topic comes up:

I met my wife at my TKD school.

[Calibrex]

I was thinking the same thing. I guess if everyone agrees then it should be enforceable just by asking someone keep their word.

Yeah based on keeping your word.

So more of a verbal agreement?

I'll throw in the same pitch I do everytime this topic comes up:

I met my wife at my TKD school.

grats, more power to you. not many can do so, and it involves the people around you. I have met many people who could not hold a relationship at work... very few actually can sort things out. I have been met people that worked together and so badly wanted to be with each other that the man transfered offices (or jobs) just to make sure they can stay together.

[bushido_man96]

I understand that, but social interaction happens anywhere people congregate. To try to stop couples in dojos from becoming friends, dating, etc, is like trying to stop the stream from flowing downhill. Sure, you can dam it up, but you just end up diverting it somewhere else.

[isshinryu5toforever]

I don't think students dating each other is a huge problem. I think an instructor dating a student could lead to some issues. If the instructor's significant other joins the class after they're already a couple, that's a whole different story. I know several couples where the man or the woman started martial arts after they got married to get a better perspective on a big part of their spouse's life. It's natural to take an interest in what your significant other does. I told my fiance though, that other than informal stuff outside a Karate school, I will not be the one teaching her Karate. That way, she can't tell me what a jerk I am when I'm putting people through the paces during conditioning exercises. I think it just works better that way haha.

[JiuJitsuNation]

I'm more talking in terms of employees and students dating.