Don't Hit Like A Girl!

[Patrick]

Hey all,

Great posts on this topic, interesting to see and read the discussion.

Me and my sister actually tell each other to stop hitting like girls all the time in training. We both take it as a joke and use it to motivate ourselves ...

I think this is a good point. Your present company means a lot. My brothers might joke around with each other and make fun of each other in such a way, but we all know that it's not a serious remark, and that it isn't something that we would throw around in random company who would take it literally.

I'd advocate emphasizing strong punches and kicks, and just drop the outdated remark.

I think this is a good point, as well.

Patrick

[Kruczek]

...my karate instructor was female for years - she always said that lol. It is a fact that girls typically have lesser upper body strength than boys.

While I don't want to ever offend someone - I think oversensitivity is a problem in America.

[joesteph]

I think oversensitivity is a problem in America.

I think a distinct lack of sensitivity has been an American problem for too many years. This may be tangental to the subject, but think of the school shootings that occurred by students who were simply picked on just too much--or were sensitive to the "teasing" and should have been left alone, but the insensitive got a rise out of it and the students just went over the edge. Then, after incidents like Columbine, the school systems started working on the bullying problem.

I've been a teacher in an all-girls high school for 34 years, and I've taught 22 co-ed summer schools in the past. During the school year with girls, I've long since learned who can be kidded (not "teased"), how far with one but not another, what kind of kidding is appropriate, etc. I've honored the individual being the person that she is. As for summer school and having taught so many boys, I've found that quite a number of them have their sensitivity level the same as many of the girls I teach during the year. I've wondered if that contributed to their not passing during the year.

At one time, kids picking on other kids was considered "part of growing up," and that "kids forget" about having been bullied (verbally as well as physically) as they get older. Insensitivity between adults has been brushed off as "S/he's an adult. S/he'll get over it." Baloney.

A book I'd read a while ago by Elaine N. Aron, The Highly Sensitive Person, presents sensitivity as far from a crime. The social psychologist Philip Zimbardo, author of Shyness, praised her book for addressing "the challenges . . . faced by these special people and suggest[ing] new paths for making sensitivity a blessing, not a handicap."

[Tiger1962]

I think oversensitivity is a problem in America.

I think a distinct lack of sensitivity has been an American problem for too many years.

I agree joesteph

[sensei8]

What got to me more than anything that day is this. I had hurt the feelings of every girl in that class that day! Mom's and/or any adult being upset is something I can deal with, but, knowing that I was the cause of these girls' hurt feelings was more than I could bare. Remember, these girls were between the ages of 10-12 years old. I had violated these girls' trust in me as their Sensei, even if it was just for that moment. A trust that I had to earn back in order for these girls to continue growing in the martial arts. My dumb comment was real dumb of me...real dumb!

[DWx]

I think I did hear this construction of the idea once.. "Don't hit like a girl, damn it, hit like a woman!"

I actually thought this was quite a good spin on the phrase... although I just asked my 15 year old sister what she thought and she took offense at the "woman" part (not actually sure why but will have to ask her later). I guess with anything you say to people you just have to take into account individual sensitivities and what each person can take. What motivates one can cause offense to another.

[sensei8]

I think I did hear this construction of the idea once.. "Don't hit like a girl, damn it, hit like a woman!"

I actually thought this was quite a good spin on the phrase... although I just asked my 15 year old sister what she thought and she took offense at the "woman" part (not actually sure why but will have to ask her later). I guess with anything you say to people you just have to take into account individual sensitivities and what each person can take. What motivates one can cause offense to another.

I'm only speculating...guessing here. But, I believe that your sister, like those 10 -12 year old girls in my story want two things. One, don't try to take my individuality as a 'girl' away from me. Two, "I'm a girl!" Recognize who I am by not trying to make me who I'm not; I'll be a woman when the time comes, but, right now, I'm a girl and I like being a girl and girls rock.

"Don't hit like a girl, damn it, hit like a woman!"

This phrase is offensive! I learnt it the hard way. I believe that your sister felt that this phrase would be downing her for being a girl by telling her that woman are better than girls. I downed those girls by telling the boys that boys are better than girls...wrong of me!

While being a woman is a good thing, I believe that girls any age want to be/feel confident in whom they are...GIRLS. Which is just as good as anything!

Remember, I'm just speculating here. I too don't have any real idea what your sister means. I've two daughters/girls myself, one is a woman and the other is a girl. Both proud...as I am of them...individually!!!!!!!

[DWx]

Apparently she thinks the "woman" part implies that she has to grow up a bit.

[JohnASE]

An important point in sensei8's story is that he intentionally belittled the boys' technique by comparing them to girls, and girls were IN THE CLASS. In doing this, he UNintentionally insulted and offended girls in his care, AND their mothers. Personally, I'm not surprised they were offended, and I think they were right to bring it to his attention. It was good of him to apologize, and it sounds like he's a better man for the experience.

Now, I'm not saying I think everyone needs to be politically correct all the time. I've been known to throw out an inappropriate joke or two, but only among friends who wouldn't be offended. There are things I can say to my buddies that I wouldn't say to my wife! I think it's all about context.