Performance Anxiety

[still kicking]

I wasn't sure whether to post this here, or under "Internal Arts". I think it fits under both equally, but anyway...

In light of dealing with a recent promotion test, I have been thinking a lot about the issue of performance anxiety. Right before the evaluation my teacher gave me an article on the subject, which really helped. The article started with an example of an international tennis champion who "choked" in an important competition, and ended up losing when it had seemed like it was in the bag. The article goes on to discuss implicit vs. explicit learning, basically muscle memory vs. thinking about it, and the different parts of the brain involved in each. What it brought up for me, is how to find the balance between just letting your body take over, vs. being mentally focused and cognizant of each move. And what happens when you are "in the zone"? It seems to me it involves a balance between the two ways of being, and presumably the two parts of the brain involved. More importantly, I guess, is how to make it happen, but I guess if I knew the answer to that I could bottle it and get rich.

Right now I am only talking about kata performance, since I think fighting or responding to attacks is pretty much automatic, or an aspect of "implicit learning". If you have to stop to think about it, it's too late. In any case, it seems to me that no matter how many millions of times you have worked on a kata, you would never get to the point where you would perform it with the same abandon of, say, dancing to reggae music. I remember watching an Olympic figure skater on tv, before he was about to perform, going through his routine in his head and talking to himself about each move, reminding himself of details all along the way. This was someone who was way on top of his game, and was not just leaving it to "muscle memory".

What I try to do when performing kata in a high stress situation -- tournament or testing/evaluation -- is to find a happy medium. First, of course, practice it a gazillion times (or so it seems), trying to implement all of the feedback I have been given. Then when performance time comes, I just tell myself "trust your body", "take your time", but still stay mentally focused and "talk myself through" the main sticking points.

This is the best I have come up with so far. Of course it is hard when there is a lot of energy running through your body, usually because we are attached to the outcome. so it helps to remember that I am doing this for fun, I am incredibly fortunate to be able bodied enought to be able to train at all, and the like. I was wondering if anyone has any thoughts about how you deal with performance anxiety? Thanks.

[joesteph]

It's interesting that your posting has had ads for performance anxiety on the same page (at https://www.sportsminded.net and https://www.social-anxiety.com), Still Kicking. Not a complaint; an observation of good business sense.

I think we've all been through it, just to different degrees based on the individual's personality. Some of us worry about it more than others; some of us can do better if it's more impersonal than personal. An example of what I mean by the latter would be when I was younger and dating a very talented young lady when it came to the piano. She couldn't play it at all if I were present. I remember being outside her door, not yet ringing the bell, and listening to her play, but when she checked to see if I'd come by yet, I'd get "caught" and that ended her playing. I never criticized her; it's just that she couldn't play with me there.

I've practiced forms when home, and even when my teacher, who's a very positive and supportive person, is in the dojang, but not where I am. If I see her watching me, I tend to "think" about what I'm doing, which makes me stiffer than I would normally be. I can even suddenly forget whether it's this move or that move that comes next, as forms sometimes have similar moves that branch out into different following moves, depending on the form. It's like the ladybug who marveled at how the centipede moved all those legs when walking, and asked how it was done. The centipede replied that he didn't even think about it, but when he then tried to walk, he was now thinking of every leg--and so tripped himself up and fell flat on the ground.

Maybe it's not just being prepared by practice, but blotting out everything--especially everybody--around you. Then your "performance" is only for "yourself," and so there's less pressure, less of a feeling of being evaluated.

[isshinryu5toforever]

I think it's a little bit of basic muscle memory and thinking about things. I'd say, you'd like to commit things like kata to muscle memory to such a point that you can do them without thinking about them, and without getting nervous doing them no matter who you're doing them in front of. That's the thinking about it part.

You have to mentally put yourself in a different place. Don't worry about the who you're doing things in front of. You can only worry about yourself. When you start thinking about who is watching you, what you're really thinking about is what they're thinking about. You're not worried about what's going on in your mind, you're worrying about what's going on in their mind. That's what messes you up. You stop concentrating. So, it is to an extent, about concentration, but it's less about blocking things out, and more about just worrying about yourself.

The muscle memory part is also important though. For example, during my black belt test, I was required to perform half my katas while having a discussion with my sensei. He picked any random kata he felt like choosing, and I had to talk to him while I performed it. It was an interesting task. Luckily, I didn't falter, but I think that's only because I didn't worry about what he thought about my performance, I simply performed. I guess that's the point you really need to get to. You need to be confident that you are doing the best you can period. Then, the nervousness kind of goes away.

[bushido_man96]

Those are great points, isshinryu5toforever. I find myself worrying about what other think of me when I am practicing outside in my yard or driveway. It does mess with you a bit. In the end, you are right; you have to just worry about yourself. Just do your kata, and then be done with it.

In regards to what Joe hit on a bit, when someone is watching you, you think about what you are doing more. Performance isn't the time to learn; performance is the time to perform what you have learned. That doesn't mean it can't be a learning experience, but at the same time, it isn't as conducive to learning as focused drilling/learning time is.

So, perform the kata, then take the praise/criticism/suggesstions, and then drill/learn. That should help you out, I think.

I also like the idea of being talked to while performing a kata. Instead of zoning out, one should be able to have awareness of things going on around you while you are doing something.

[Rateh]

I think ones ability to talk while doing a form has a lot to do with ones ability to multitask. I can talk while doing a form I learned that very class, because I multitask most of my day.

As far as performance anxiety because of who is watching you, I agree that could make a difference for some people. Think about what your doing, don't worry about the results till after the test is over.