Testing this Week

[still kicking]

I'm testing for my next rank this week, which would be 3rd kyu/brown belt. Right now I'm kind of depressed and anxious about it. First I should say that in our school we do quarterly evaluations, where everyone is expected to participate, and if you are ready to be promoted you will. I just got 4th kyu 3 months ago, so I am mentally prepared for not getting it this time. From reading other postings on these forums, it seems like our school is ridiculously slow to promote people, at least at the higher ranks. We have people who train 3-5 times a week who have been green or brown belts for years, but there are always more details to fix. It typically takes at around 8 years for teenagers to get to shodan, 10 years or longer for adults. That's training 4 or 5 days a week for most of that time, so it's quite intense. Anyway...

The reason this is bothering me.. if anyone has read my earlier postings on the subject... is that I used to train in this school years ago and had reached shodan, but it was not on the books because my previous teacher had split with the organization, blah blah blah. Dojo politics -- sigh. I didn't mind starting over, and felt that I should, since I had been gone for so long. I have actually worked through the ranks quickly, compared to how my current teacher does things, having reached 4th kyu after 3 1/2 years. This is on top of my previous 6 1/2 years, though. Even though it was 20 years ago, the basics and kata were stored deep in my muscle memory, and once I was back in shape things came back to me amazingly well, to me. Objectively speaking, I am performing at a much higher level than many of the brown belts above me. I know this sounds obnoxious, but it's true. My teacher's position, though, is that rank is not in comparison to others, but is to measure our own improvement. I agree with this to a point, but in my view it also has to be somewhat in comparison to others, or it becomes meaningless. I mean, taken to a ridiculous degree, you could have someone new coming in who was performing at world champion level (not likely, I know, but I'm trying to illustrate a point here), and you would promote them more slowly than anyone else because they had so much ability. Then someone comes in in a wheelchair, and you give them a black belt because they are able to stand up! Well maybe this is a silly example, yet in a way is not far from how our school seems to operate sometimes.

I know that the proper "karate attitude" is to just do my best, take the results, whatever they are, with equanimity, and keep training. That's what I aim to try to do. I'm just afraid in advance that I will be very angry if I do well and don't get it. It's really not just about ego, that's a small part of it. The real issue is that it makes me question my teacher's judgement and the basic fairness and integrity of the process, which I have before.

I have, at several times since my return, considered leaving the school for this reason, but always seem to come down on the side of staying. I love the training, we are known for being a really good school, and it's like a 2 minute drive from my house. But I can't stand feeling that my teacher is unfair and inequitable in ranking judgements. Well, sorry for the long post. The evaluations are Tues and Wed evening. My plan is to go through my kata at a slow and easy pace numerous times tonight, and in class tomorrow night, along with other light workout things, trying to integrate all of the feedback I have been given, but mostly to be relaxed and centered. Then to meditate and work on my attitude. After all, being a green belt for another 3 or 6 months would not be nearly as bad as being nuked by a hostile nation, for example. I've got to keep it all in perspective. But as I already said, the hard part is questioning my teacher's judgement. I guess I am not yet to the point where I can just train there without doing that, or just train there and accept that I don't always agree with my teacher's judgement. Maybe that's the goal.

Thanks very much for reading my long rambling post.

[still kicking]

I've been thinking about what I just wrote, and wanted to add something. It's really not that I'm just a belt chaser, thought that might be that's how it sounds. I think it's just that in our school getting a black belt is such an onerous process -- much harder than it has to be, in my opinion -- that it's hard not to have a lot of energy on it. When I was training in this school before, we still had "high standards", but people generally made black belt by 6 or 7 years. Of course those of us who were unusually talented, not to mention humble, made it in 4 1/2. This seems more reasonable to me, allowing for 4-5 days a week of training. It just makes me feel cynical when it seems like it's a lot faster to get it in most other schools -- what does it all mean? I would love to be above it all, but I think it's only human to want recognition for your abilities, when you work so hard. Oh well. I can't help but think that most of the people who say "oh, rank doesn't matter, what's important is that you enjoy the training", already have their black belt. It also makes me sick how important it becomes, it really is kind of disgusting sometimes. Thanks for listening to my rant.

[joesteph]

I'm a classroom teacher, Still Kicking, teaching social studies on the high school level. I've just completed 34 years at my school, and I'll be returning in September. Over the years, I've encountered teacher-colleagues who have had a range of expectations from their students. While it's true that there have been teachers whose grades seemed inflated, the average teacher has made reasonable demands, and the grades reflect a fair standard.

There are two teachers who come to mind that I believe thought they were setting high standards by being overly demanding--i.e., perfectionists. They groused about the kids and tried to justify a high marking period failure rate by college-prep students who were squeaking by with low passing grades for the year. The administration understandably declined rehiring them for the following academic year.

So I have to ask you, Still Kicking, why you've spend so much time with this teacher, who impresses me as overbearing, and are continuing with him.

[ninjanurse]

Objectively speaking, I am performing at a much higher level than many of the brown belts above me. I know this sounds obnoxious, but it's true. My teacher's position, though, is that rank is not in comparison to others, but is to measure our own improvement.

I know that the proper "karate attitude" is to just do my best, take the results, whatever they are, with equanimity, and keep training.

I guess I am not yet to the point where I can just train there without doing that, or just train there and accept that I don't always agree with my teacher's judgement.

Respectfully speaking, and only going by what you have said here, if I was your sensei I would not advance you either. It is one thing to know what attitude you should have but another to actually have it. You may be letting this show in class and sensei is waiting for that to change. A shodan should already understand this and always come to class with an empty cup.

[still kicking]

Respectfully speaking, and only going by what you have said here, if I was your sensei I would not advance you either. It is one thing to know what attitude you should have but another to actually have it. You may be letting this show in class and sensei is waiting for that to change. A shodan should already understand this and always come to class with an empty cup.

You may be right, Ninjanurse. It's just that it feels like a bit of a catch-22 situation sometimes, i.e. passively submitting to what feels like injustice is not how I live my life in general. However, on a positive note, my teacher has always been open to discussion. As long as the injustice is only about inequities in ranking, and there are so many positive things, including some excellencies in teaching, I think you are right that I have to just stay open and learn and be respectful. I am working on it!

[bushido_man96]

Objectively speaking, I am performing at a much higher level than many of the brown belts above me. I know this sounds obnoxious, but it's true. My teacher's position, though, is that rank is not in comparison to others, but is to measure our own improvement.

I know that the proper "karate attitude" is to just do my best, take the results, whatever they are, with equanimity, and keep training.

I guess I am not yet to the point where I can just train there without doing that, or just train there and accept that I don't always agree with my teacher's judgement.

Respectfully speaking, and only going by what you have said here, if I was your sensei I would not advance you either. It is one thing to know what attitude you should have but another to actually have it. You may be letting this show in class and sensei is waiting for that to change. A shodan should already understand this and always come to class with an empty cup.

Well, I don't know. I don't think that there is too much wrong with having that kind of outlook, and I don't see a problem with having these questions in mind. That's what we do here in the west, isn't it? Question the status quo?

On a side note, many people tend to refer to schools that pass quickly as McDojos. However, could it not be viewed the same by dragging out rankings, gradings, and the lure of the black belt for years as doing the same thing? Many won't think so, because we think we are all too impatient for that. But, its just a thought.

I do wish you luck on your testing. Let us know how it goes.

One other thing I would consider with this whole scenario is what you learn in class. Do you feel that what you are learning is in line with your progression? Do you feel that you are being held back, and not learning important aspects of self-defense, because of the slow progression in rank? That is something that I would consider, as well.

[Tiger1962]

On a side note, many people tend to refer to schools that pass quickly as McDojos. However, could it not be viewed the same by dragging out rankings, gradings, and the lure of the black belt for years as doing the same thing? Many won't think so, because we think we are all too impatient for that. But, its just a thought.

I was thinking a similar thought....being TOO slow to pass students is just as bad as passing them too quickly.

I can understand an instructor wanting a student to show their proper attitude in class, necessary to achieve promotion, however, I don't always believe the instructor is right 100% of the time in all situations either. Some people think just because their instructor has "x" amount of years experience and it a high ranking Sensei or SBN, that whatever they say or do is right 100% of the time.

Some teachers hold students back purposely, for reasons not valid, but, if approached and asked, might give some other reason to make their decision sound legitamite. I don't know what to advise, except to say, I'd probably ask myself the same question: do I really want to continue to train there?

[bushido_man96]

I agree with you, Tiger. Too long or too short, and I would get curious. But, the main thing to consider is if the training is good or not. If the training is that good, then I'd stick with it.

[Rateh]

Patience is easy (or easier) when there is a valid reason involved. It is much more challenging when there is no valid reason, or the reason is unknown. I think what you are struggling with is not the right attitude, but knowing WHY things are the way they are. Wanting answers is not a bad attitude, its how you deal with it that can cause issue.