"Anger is the enemy..." or is it?

[joesteph]

I got angry last night at the dojang.

There's a tournament this Sunday, April 5, and a number of students are attending. Although they're encouraged to participate in forms competition, sparring is the big push. It's non-contact.

The past couple of weeks have had an emphasis on preparing for the tournament. I could have cut class and missed very little regarding my green belt (6th gup) studies, but I've attended and enjoyed the "fun sparring" combos that my teacher has us practice. I've long since ended sparring with any gusto in the dojang for personal reasons, but I work on the many other requirements of the art.

Last night was a constant emphasis on sparring work, and I was paired off with a red belt (3rd gup). When we did the different fun combos, he was perfectly fine. When we did free sparring in-between the combos, even though it's non-contact, each time he went overboard with his attacks. I became angry and focused on hurling myself at him. He was repeatedly coming at my face with his punches, so I did the same to him, only extremely close. He made many rapid kicks to my body, so I responded in kind but, when I could, I locked him up by infighting which included a raised knee against him.

As the last sparring session was ending, he did a side kick that hit me in the midsection, but it must have hit me with limited power as I was so close to him. I crashed into him and time was called.

He then told me that, when sparring, he thinks we should be "doing it soft." I began to tell him off. I reminded him that he's made a point of saying he doesn't like shots to the face because he's had his nose broken, but he fired them off to me. Then I said I knew that that kick to my midsection was on purpose, and he admitted it, saying he had done it to keep me away. It led to more argument, during which I told him that, if he goes after my face, I'm going after his, and if he goes after my body, I'm doing the same to him. When he protested that I had initiated the escalating level of sparring, and that he didn't want to, I reminded him he had a mouth and could have used words during sparring time that he wanted to tone it down.

He's not competing in sparring. He's not even going to be at the tournament.

My teacher and the assistant instructor were both present all along, but the assistant instructor is in the tournament himself, so I wonder if he actually saw the sparring sessions in particular. During the last two of these, my teacher did call over to watch out about the aggression, but it could be that everyone was aggressive, and perhaps we didn't stand out. I don't know.

To put an end to the argument because we were all called to line up, we did shake hands, and I did say to him that we should consider it a misunderstanding.

When everyone was lined up, my teacher said she saw that there was a disagreement and that one of the students (looking at me but not saying my name) had his hand over his stomach during it. She said she didn't know what it was about, but asked the red belt if, as the senior student, he'd called for contact. He said he hadn't. She then repeated the non-contact rules to all.

I realize the topic is about anger affecting one's fighting prowess, but it can be that anger is larger than just trading blows. I don't what set him off. Was it because it was free sparring? I've barely ever sparred with him before but, for all I know, he's Mr. Nice Guy when he's walking, and Mr. Road Rage when he's driving. Was he too proud to say to ease up? What I do know is that I was angry, adrenaline flowed (sympathetic nervous system in action), and I focused appropriately to fight off an attacker.

Edited April 5, 2009 by joesteph

[Traymond]

I just feel that we as martial artists should be able to control our emotions in a real situation better than most people. Thus not getting angry, remaining calm even in the face of adversity, but that's just my opinion.

I agree with this as well.

[Tiger1962]

This topic has popped up elsewhere, and I feel that it is worthy of its own thread.

What is everyone's feeling on anger, and its place in training? Do you try to avoid anger? Do you view it as an emotion that should be suppressed? Do you try to channel it and use it?

Personally, I think that anger can be chanelled and used in a very good way. Anger can be very motivating. It can drive one, I feel. When it arises, I like to channel my energy with my anger, and work to use it to fuel myself onward. But, I feel that a major factor in the use of anger is control. I think that one can be angry, and be in control. I think that many feel this is not the case, but I do.

What are your thoughts?

I don't like getting angry because once I do, I tend to over-analyze the situation later on. That being said, I'm no slouch and I don't put up with stuff just to avoid becoming angry.

There are times and places where showing anger is unavoidable - and frustration is part of that too sometimes. I've been told I am a better sparrer when I am angry but I found that amusing because the person making that statement just assumed I was angry to begin with when I was not.

Sometimes you can control your anger if you're really good with words & make yourself look like the better person. You can be really ticked off at the person and yet be so articulate in telling them off without ever raising your hands (or your voice for that matter) that it can make you feel so in control of the situation where the other person walks away stewing.

I don't believe in holding in one's anger - that is unhealthy, but at the same time I don't think you should go around beating people up because they tick you off.

I too try to use my anger as a motivator and I think that is a positive way of channeling it. Sometimes though one just needs to punch the bag and blow off steam or let out a stream of colorful words.

[white owl]

I kind of think like tiger on this. I also over analysis when I get angry afterward.

An I think when you are angry technique goes out the door for a lot of people. I am not saying everyone some people know how to use there anger, but not everyone.

I also think there is a time and place for using your anger as this is what tiger said and think it should be kept in check in ma class. I know it is hard sometimes but like tiger says use it in a positive way.

[bushido_man96]

Joe - I think that your reactions were not inappropriate at all. I think that many of us have been in the escalating contact level sparring situation before. It sounds to me like being angry did not cause a problem for you there.

[bushido_man96]

I just feel that we as martial artists should be able to control our emotions in a real situation better than most people. Thus not getting angry, remaining calm even in the face of adversity, but that's just my opinion.

I think it depends. Being calm is kind of an emotion, too, but why is it necessarily a better emotion than anger? Its like night and day; you don't have one without the other, and if there was only day, but no night, then things would start to get out of balance. Something like that. As I mentioned, I think that we can control our anger.

I think that sometimes, people like to use anger as a crutch, or an excuse. People will claim that they did something because they got angry; I don't buy into that. You do something because you want to, because you choose to; not because "the anger made you do it." We are in control of our actions, always. Anger doesn't change that. We are the ones that change it, in my view.

[Tiger1962]

Forgot to add that I too have had a situation in the past, when during class while I was sparring with a male student, he kept making hard contact with me, yet when I would occasionally reciprocate that to HIM, he would tell me to watch my contact. If I told him to watch HIS contact, he'd ignore that. So that particular day, this was happening and I was becoming angry and frustrated because he didn't want to get hit yet he was hitting me and hard. Finally, something snapped and I charged at him with repetitive strikes and just my bad luck my instructor saw ME charging AT HIM but did not see HIM making hard contact AT ME. So, of course, I was the one who got reprimanded. Very frustrating to say the least and I was ticked off like you can't imagine. I cooled off and had a talk after class with my instructor about the issue I had with this student and my instructor said they would be more observant towards this particular person's style. Now this was a recurring situation for me. For others maybe you have had one or two instances but regardless, it is really frustrating to spar with people who are like this.

[DWx]

Good topic. I think anger can be a great tool. I know when I'm angry I can hit far harder and am willing to take more risks. You have to be careful and not allow it to control you though. There have been times when I've been so angry that I've taken stupid risks and technique and tactics go out the window. If you can control yourself and still think about what you're doing then anger is great.

[white owl]

Huh, tiger we must have the same student, except I made sure my sensei heard me warn this student repeatedly before I hit him hard back and then sensei told him she warn you several times, when the student look at him. But I was not angry, yet.

DWx I completely agree.

[joesteph]

Joe - I think that your reactions were not inappropriate at all. I think that many of us have been in the escalating contact level sparring situation before. It sounds to me like being angry did not cause a problem for you there.

Thanks for understanding, Brian.

I too have had a situation in the past . . . [H]e kept making hard contact with me, yet when I would occasionally reciprocate that to HIM, he would tell me to watch my contact. . . . I was becoming angry and frustrated because he didn't want to get hit yet he was hitting me and hard. . . . I charged at him with repetitive strikes and just my bad luck my instructor saw ME charging AT HIM but did not see HIM making hard contact AT ME. . . . I cooled off and had a talk after class with my instructor about the issue I had with this student and my instructor said they would be more observant towards this particular person's style. . . . It is really frustrating to spar with people who are like this.

He was the aggressor and he played the victim. Tiger, I think you acted in the only way to get through to a primitive mind like his.