When a student is not all that they appear to be

[ReadyAndFocussed]

I'm having a bit of an issue and I'd like some perspective on this.

Around a month ago a young lady joined our club. She told me she'd "dabbled" in karate when she was a child but had never graded. Therefore, obviously she started from white belt.

She seemed to be a pretty average starter, couldn't get the kicks too high, wobbled around a bit, cowared during kumite (!) and generally looked like a complete beginner, which was fine.

But then she started slipping up with certain things, she spoke in Japanese and then seemed to clam up when she realised she'd done it. She counted in Japanese without being prompted seemingly without realising she was doing it and she'd occasionally use japanese terms for stances which our brown belts had trouble remembering.

I let it go, assuming she was a quick learner but then last week another man joined the club. He seemed to want to put across this macho persona and was quite rough during kumite. I delibrately kept him away from the lower grades.

Then during a quick change over when we were running short on time, he and this young woman ended up together. I let it go on and warned them both to exercise control. Anyway he ended up punching her in the face. A few of the other students insisted he'd done it on purpose but he swore it was an accident.

I asked her if she wanted to sit out and she insisted on continuing the fight which suprised me as she'd always seemed so placid and scared of kumite. So I let them finish it off and seconds into it, she swept him, spun around and hit across the head with a spinning back kick. It was WAY beyond the ability of a white belt. The guy just crumbled and the whole place fell in silence. I asked her where she'd learnt that and she said she didn't know, she just thought she'd try it but I simply don't believe her.

So why would anyone pretend to be so short of knowledge and skill if they're obviously not? Am I being paranoid or is something untoward going on here?

[the beast]

I would have to say she didnt want any special treatment for having prior training and wanted to start over as a white belt again but this is just my opinion of it.

[Tiger1962]

I had to contain myself from jumping up and down cheering for your new student because I am at work -

Yes, I agree with Beast. She probably DOES have more experience than she is letting on but my guess is A) she doesn't want preferential treatment B) she doesn't want to be embarrassed in case she forgets some of her prior training along the way C) she isn't going to take any bullying or macho behavior from anyone.

Good for her !!!

At least she is humble enough to accept being treated as a white belt regardless of how much previous training she's had.

[DWx]

I don't think there's anything untoward, she's probably not wanting to draw attention to herself. However personally I think she's going the wrong way about it. What's the point in pretending you know nothing when you do and deliberately doing the techniques badly? Its like deliberately taking a step backwards. And she probably draws more attention to herself by suddenly surprising everyone with prior knowledge rather than just accepting it. If I were her instructor I would have a word with her and make sure she knows that she doesn't have to pretend not to know stuff. Its fine if she wants to begin anew but to deliberately forgot all previous training is something she shouldn't do. Don't treat her as anything special if she doesn't want you to though, just let her train and get on with it. Maybe she can grade faster than others but other than that, let her be like any other student.

[joesteph]

Around a month ago a young lady joined our club. She told me she'd "dabbled" in karate when she was a child but had never graded. Therefore, obviously she started from white belt. . . .

Actually, this describes me in certain ways. I did do martial arts but without a commitment to any one of them two decades ago. (Although the immediate difference between her and me is that you describe her as a "young lady," so I'm picturing her in her twenties.) What I really learned to do was to fight, because of a friend who tutored me. I've been careful not to present myself as knowledgeable about anything other than that I'd done "some" of this-or-that, which is accurate, even though I did have an advancement in rank in TKD, where I was never good at any kicks other than front and back.

But then she started slipping up with certain things, she spoke in Japanese and then seemed to clam up when she realised she'd done it. She counted in Japanese without being prompted seemingly without realising she was doing it and she'd occasionally use japanese terms for stances which our brown belts had trouble remembering. . . .

I've had some slipping, too, but not to the extent that she's exhibited. It's nothing to count in Japanese; I still have to remember not to do it. As for the names of stances, well, there you've got me.

Anyway he ended up punching her in the face. A few of the other students insisted he'd done it on purpose but he swore it was an accident. . . .

he swept him, spun around and hit across the head with a spinning back kick. It was WAY beyond the ability of a white belt. The guy just crumbled and the whole place fell in silence. I asked her where she'd learnt that and she said she didn't know, she just thought she'd try it but I simply don't believe her.

 

She lost her temper, but expressed it in a martial arts manner. She "betrayed" herself as someone with knowledge--and skill--from the past. It's not necessarily so that she just came from another school, although it's possible; she could have studied when much younger, as I have a classroom student who's second dan and only fourteen; I don't know how many times a week she attends your school, so I don't know if she's going to two schools at the same time.

So why would anyone pretend to be so short of knowledge and skill if they're obviously not? Am I being paranoid or is something untoward going on here?

 

You're not paranoid; you're looking at her position through your own eyes. You would want credit; she doesn't and may even scorn it. She wants to start all over, and for whatever reason, it's personal. I honestly believe it to be best to respect her wishes; she's an adult, not a child whose parents you would confer with about this. She's not disruptive; she's not pressing for a more privileged status, which others would; she may even be reliving when martial arts were new and exciting. Maybe she was pushed too hard when she was younger, so that it became a chore, a job instead of an activity. Whatever her personal reasons, they should be respected.

 

Don't be surprised if she opens up to you one day, because she trusts you well enough that you won't tell others.

[tori]

I have often thought what I would do if I would no longer train in my style and go to another style school and train. I know that I would tell the head instructor that I had previous training but would wish to start at white belt. I would not want any special treatment at all. Of course it is a different style and even though I would have knowledge on doing certain techniques, I would like to be open minded enough to learn something new or learn a different way to do something I know. I also know that I would not share my prior knowledge with other students for awhile, just because I wouldn't want to give the perception that I am a "know it all." Maybe she is doing the same.

Let her come to you when she is ready to share her knowledge with you. I don't think she is trying to be deceiving, she just wants to be like any other student in your classes.

[ReadyAndFocussed]

She's a black belt in Taekwondo.

I didn't mention it to her at training tonight but she came across and apologised for losing her temper last week and seemed pretty embarrassed and upset that she had reacted violently. I told her I was more impressed with the kick then anything else! She then admitted that she hadn't been 100% straight with me and that she was actually a black belt in Taekwondo.

She never actually lied though, she said she'd dabbled in karate but never actually said she hadn't trained in anything else (she was keen to point this out to me). Reason she didn't want me to know is that she tried another karate school before she came to me and everything she did was met with "just because you did that in Taekwondo..." or "you might be a high rank in Taewondo but in karate you're...." etc etc

So, there is the conclusion. She can stop pretending now at least, I assured her that the revelation won't make a difference, she'll still get press-ups if she slacks off She's happy with that lol

[Truestar]

Cool story nonetheless.

[white owl]

At least she came clean with you. And it sounds to me she had cause in holding back a little info do to pass experience.

[joesteph]

he came across and apologised for losing her temper last week and seemed pretty embarrassed and upset that she had reacted violently. I told her I was more impressed with the kick then anything else! She then admitted that she hadn't been 100% straight with me and that she was actually a black belt in Taekwondo.

 

She trusts you. She has faith in you that you'll treat her with the dignity she did not receive at another dojo. It could be that the quip you made about the kick was the icebreaker for her to open up to you.

 

Does she want you to keep this info just between the two of you?