Losing Motivation

[RoyalPython]

I'm seriously losing all interest in karate. I hate feeling this way because I've quit once before and swore I wouldn't do it again but I'm finding it such an effort to keep it going these days

For one thing, the class is full of teenagers and kids. There are only 3 adults there and I am the only woman. The other adults are all higher grades than me and tend to stick together so I'm usually partnered with a child under the age of 10 which I just think is pointless really.

We've been doing a lot of throw work recently and as I'm self concious about my weight, this makes me really nervous and embarrassed. Especially when I'm partnered with someone smaller as I know I'm heavy.

Also, its making a big dint in my finances at a time when I really could do to save the money I spend on karate every week.

I don't know what to do. I don't want to quite because I know I'll regret it again but everytime it's a training day I end up feeling quite anxious about it because I just don't want to go.

Feeling really down about it all to be honest.

[bushido_man96]

If you don't like the demographic make up of the school, then you should look around to see if another school fits the bill. Classes with kids can be tough. As far as the high ranks go, I think you should ask them to spend some time with you prior to class on various things you need help with. This may help you to get in with them better.

As for the weight thing, I'd tell you to just try not to let it affect you. If you don't train, then you won't help yourself in that department. So, don't worry so much about what everyone else might think, and do worry about what you want to do.

The finances, I can understand as well. Times are a bit tough, and budgeting can be a factor. But in th end, don't use it as an excuse to justify your will to quit.

[Tiger1962]

Bushido Man gave you excellent advice. I agree with him.

I too would suggest to try to find another school that is better suited to what you prefer. However, if you stop training altogether, you'll be back at square one, so if there isn't another school nearby to train at, have a talk with your instructor and see if you can get more time in with the adults. Maybe your instructor doesn't know how you feel & can help make the situation better by partnering you with the adults more.

[tallgeese]

I agree wholeheartedly with the advice given above. Try to find a school with a better demographic. Also, look around and try to find one that's doing things that you can get excited about.

It might be as simple as sitting down and figureing out exactly what you want out of the ma's. Once you have this reason, try to find a school that matches this. Not having goals fulfilled is one real popular way to hit burnout fast.

[Wa-No-Michi]

I'm seriously losing all interest in karate. I hate feeling this way because I've quit once before and swore I wouldn't do it again but I'm finding it such an effort to keep it going these days

For one thing, the class is full of teenagers and kids. There are only 3 adults there and I am the only woman. The other adults are all higher grades than me and tend to stick together so I'm usually partnered with a child under the age of 10 which I just think is pointless really.

We've been doing a lot of throw work recently and as I'm self concious about my weight, this makes me really nervous and embarrassed. Especially when I'm partnered with someone smaller as I know I'm heavy.

Also, its making a big dint in my finances at a time when I really could do to save the money I spend on karate every week.

I don't know what to do. I don't want to quite because I know I'll regret it again but everytime it's a training day I end up feeling quite anxious about it because I just don't want to go.

Feeling really down about it all to be honest.

Hi RoyalPython, I notice from your info bar that you are based in Surrey. Is that Surrey England? If so I am just arround the corner from you.

If you are interested, the Wado club that I teach at, has an adults specific club (no ankle biters).

Also we do NOT charge up front, we charge on a pay as you train basis, no contract.

There is a good bunch of folk that train at the club. Very supportive.

[Tiger1962]

LMAO @ "ankle biters"

I love it !!!!!!!!!

[Wa-No-Michi]

LMAO @ "ankle biters"

I love it !!!!!!!!!

Hi Tiger, and I'm LMAO after finding out what LMAO means!

Brilliant!

[white owl]

I agree with what everyone said here, I would diffently find another school before you quit all together, you will kick yourself in the rear later if you did quit. Because as you said above that you told your self you will not quit this time, so find another solution for your problem by checking out other schools or talking to your sensei and tell him or she how you feel about always working with the little ones. But I really suggest looking into another school because having more kids than adults will always be a problem.

[joesteph]

Is this a small dojo/dojang, that there's such a limitation regarding membership?

I'm 56, and I have no problem being partnered with a teenager (or fellow adult). The teens are sharp and resiliant, so though I'm often catching up with them, at least I know they're good.

Being paired with someone far lower in age is something that works out only in certain circumstances. My instructor likes to pair us up, so that as we face one another, I'll throw a swing kick, then the 12-yr-old responds with a swing kick, then I'll do a front kick, then the 12-yr-old . . . It's just a pairing up and I don't mind it because it lets me know everyone in the dojang--no cliques. I also don't mind if all the same belts do the same hyung, no matter what age.

As for your being the only woman, we had two women in the dojang, but one went to college and the other's career had her on-and-off. Her young daughters go to the dojang, but she can't really make a commitment. I liked having the two women there, too, and my instructor is a woman, as is her teacher.

This is something, IMHO, easier for a guy to say, but here goes: let the weight concern pass. Drop it. One of the women I referred to before had extra weight, and it meant nothing to me. When I held the body shield and she let loose her kicks, she had firepower, and that's what matters in the martial arts.

I would take up the suggestions about speaking with your instructor and, if necessary, checking on another school. And, Python, be self-conscious about nothing in that training hall.

[kkennedy219]

Argh! I've totally been there! I one took a class at one school where there were adults and children all mixed in together, so the group ranged in age from about 65 all the way down to 6. And I was a grown woman (very tall as well) of 32 and constantly getting paired up with a 9 year old girl who was scared to death of me. It was ridiculous, really. Luckily there was another school of the same style not too far away, so I've been training there ever since.

If you're constantly having to pair up with a child (not a teenager, but an actual child), you're both being cheated out of the value of training...you because you have to hold back and the kid because he can't keep up with you.

I vote that you find another dojo. And don't give up! Sometimes finding the right fit is all it takes. We'll both be black belts some day!