Failed...

[Fish]

I've been there. I failed my 3rd kyu on my first attempt. It was the best thing that happened to me in MA - apart from passing it on my second attempt 6 months later. It made me determined to train hard for every grading and to really focus on improving and learning at every opportunity.

Stick with it - you'll get there in the end if you persevere.

[tori]

Clear your mind of the politics in your rank testing. Focus on what you have to do to improve and retake the test when it was offered to you.

So what if there are sensei's there that don't "like you". You are training for you, not them. If you enjoy what you are doing, stick with it.

We all have been there and sympathize with you. Let me ask you however, as I do not know you and you do not know me, how do you present yourself in the dojo and to the others. What is it that would make them treat you differently.

In a dojo, it is best to always give 100% (as I am sure you do), listen and learn. Ask questions that are appropriate and be open minded. Try never to disagree with an instructor in front of the whole class, or question them publically.

I promise you that I do not know the kind of student you are, but to me, you seem like a serious student with a huge love for the style. I applaud you. I really only mentioned the above to benefit you and others who may be in a similar situation. Something in your training history has caused this silly political issue with some of your instructors, probably at no fault of you. However, its up to you to change their attitude or to just get past it all together. Either way, Just Train.

[Shoto4Life]

Updates

After a couple days off I returned. The sensei that likes me was teaching. It was nice to see some of the lower level students and they were happy to see me. Tails were wagging. It still felt awkward though. Afterwards the sensei thanked me for returning. I think it was obvious how much I put into it and how I felt about the outcome. After a little conversation he confirmed enough of what I felt and described in this post to validate what happened. He also basically told me it’s really good that I came back and that’s how I will show them. This felt good but it almost creates more dilemmas. Now I know what I perceived to be more or less accurate and because of this it just doesn’t feel right. That coupled with the fact that I have trained judo and wanted to have started back into judo but figured that for the long run karate would be better for my body. I do however prefer to strike and it comes a little less naturally so it makes me try harder. I probably had the most fun training on my own prior to rejoining a dojo in preparation before all the politics and pressure started in. The issue though is that I feel my body type is better suited for judo. So I wonder, do I continue to train in something that might not be my ideal sport and on top of that have to deal with people that don’t want to see me succeed? Or do I shift focus towards something that lends itself more naturally to my body type? Its like if I can’t get a purple belt how will I ever become a black belt? Most people do not fail at such an early level. I also do not take failure easy as it doesn’t happen to me often and this was very hard on me. I do believe most sensei’s spare students this negative experience and tell them not to test if such thing might happen.

Thanks for the input keep it coming.

[joesteph]

. . . I have trained judo and wanted to have started back into judo but figured that for the long run karate would be better for my body. I do however prefer to strike and it comes a little less naturally so it makes me try harder.

I'd like to try JiuJitsu, Shoto, but I've come to realize that I have to learn karate, specifically Soo Bahk Do, with greater proficiency. Is now the time to split my training time? I've found out that I've gotten my promotion, meaning that my orange belt will have a stripe on it, so that I can train for the next color. Hold it! Didn't I just say that I need to learn my art with greater proficiency? I've spoken with my instructor, and she understands that there's a good chance that I will ask to skip the next test, even though it's four months between tests, until I feel I should go to a higher belt--and the greater demands it'll place on me. I'm studying karate-do, not obi-do. (I got that from a moderator in another forum, and he made a good point.)

Its like if I can’t get a purple belt how will I ever become a black belt?

You have to stop beating yourself up, Shoto; it serves no useful purpose and causes you to doubt yourself. If you made a list of your strengths and compared it with a list of your weaknesses, not holding yourself to an impossible standard of perfection, you'll find that the scale tips the balance in your favor.

I also do not take failure easy as it doesn’t happen to me often and this was very hard on me.

I don't take failure easy either. Why did I major in history in college? Why did I study other, related, subjects, and now teach social studies? Because I found out what I was good at--not perfect at, good at--and capitalized on it. Everybody does this. We work harder at what we find we're good at. If failure doesn't affect us, then it means we never cared about what we failed at in the first place. Whether you realize it or not, you've been "pruning" your life (so have I; so does everybody), casting aside what you aren't good at, what doesn't matter to you, and concentrating on what does. You've built on what you're good at, and being off the mark bothers you. Good reaction. It means you still care.

I can't imagine anyone here in the forum who hasn't felt at some point that the martial arts aren't working out for him or her, and likely "failure" has occurred to just about everybody here. We wake up, smell the coffee, and continue on our martial arts journey. There isn't a single negative posting here by forum members that has told you to quit on your art or martial arts; it's all been positive about continuing. Your Sensei, who you know likes you, would be disappointed if you didn't give it one more try. Why? Because he believes in you.

Your job now is to believe in yourself.

[Shoto4Life]

Yea you guys are right. I need to just clear my head, refocus and push forward. Thanks for the support!

[bushido_man96]

If you want to Judo, then do it. If you still want to train Karate, then stick with it, too. What you think you body is built for, and what you can actually perform well at, are two different things.

In the end, the choice is yours. But going back was a good move.

[usc96]

If you failed because you didn't demonstrate a working knowledge of the material, then suck it up and get it right next time. If one of the instructors is using his power in a passive aggressive manner and the other instructors are allowing this nonsense, then I'd seriously consider a move.

Maybe take the retest and see how it plays out after that. If you still feel persecuted after that, then seriously consider whether this is the right dojo for you. As an adult, or even if you were a kid, you don't deserve to be treated with anything but respect.

[swadoryu2000]

I'm sorry to hear that you didn't pass.

It's hard for anyone to say, as far as whether or not you should have passed, without being there. And, even if I was, I wouldn't know anyway, since I'm not a martial artist.

However, if everything is how you say and the words you quoted are what was said, I'd probably try to find somewhere else... somewhere that had a healthier environment. What you describe doesn't sound like an idea situation to learn in.

Patrick

I agree with Patrick on this one: you might want to find a new place to train if the problem persists. I want to add something, though. Try to take it as a positive thing, if you can. Don't stress too much. There will be other grading opportunities. Kind of like the famous line, ''What doesn't kill you makes you stronger''. Hope everything works out to your liking.