Failed...

[Shoto4Life]

Well I had my 5th Kyu test the other day and I thought it went well. However I was worried as I could hear them deliberating after the test and the main sensei said he thought I passed and another one that doesnt like me very much was talking to him and he said oh you have it opposite. This made me nervous as there was continued debate. He then acted like he would think about it and started the seminar afterward. I felt like he used this to watch me more as he is normally not in my dojo. He comes from another city as he is a very high ranking for grading purposes. Of course I was spent after the testing and when I’m spent my technic falls off. Anyway I felt as if he was still grading me and looking for a way to agree with the other instructor and rationalize not passing me. So after testing I came away rather worried and discouraged with what I had heard and the vibes I got over the whole thing only to find out when I got my results that everything I felt seemed to be have been accurate and after half a week I just found out that they did in fact fail me. This is crappy because I trained for like 6 months with them and two months prior on my own for this. I also feel like I’m much better than the girl that I train with who they allowed to pass. In fact they passed all who tested but me and one of which is noteably suspect in class. Last testing I watched everyone pass as well. He then pitched it to me as the visiting sensei was on the fence about me and they didnt want to get in the middle. Normally they defend the student and help them pass. However they DID get into it which was more than visable and I heard the main sensei say “he had me passing” and then one of my normal instructors seemed to actually rally against me on it, while the main sensei said “oh you have it opposite?”. My normal sensei told me when he informed me I didn’t pass that the main sensei wants me to work on my recoil and come down and test in his city in one month. Interestingly the recoil thing came from the seminar after the testing in my opinion. He said that if I had recoiled in the test just like I did in yesterdays class that I would have passed. Now the worst part of this is the fact that I feel like I didnt pass because of almost an ego/dislike thing. Also if I heard right how could the main sensei allow someone to change his mind like that. I find the whole thing rather disturbing as I feel I passed and deserve the new rank and I feel most people I train with look up to me and feel the same as well. I find it hard to continue back with people that in my opinion afforded me very poor judgement and more or less screwed me over. I also feel sort of ashamed towards my other classe mates that I didnt pass and because in general most people don’t fail there purple belt test. What do you all think of this?

Alittle backround is that I started training with them back in march after a seven year absence. I also used to train with sort of a rival dojo. I have always sort of felt like their attitude without saying it is that it’s cool to train with us but you should prolly go grade with your school. Also for some odd reason the sensei I mentioned that seemed to rally against me seems to have some sort of problem with me. Its been really apparent in several last class periods. He spent one entire class period picking me apart the whole time. No idea really why other than he might be intimitated by me for some reason. After the testing he seemed rather happy/cocky as I talked about how it sucked to wait for the results and such basically snickering.

I was also bothered by the fact that in his speech afterward he was basically saying that “if you wanna get down on this and not come to class that’s fine. No one will care or miss you. Someone else will just pop into your spot. Its really about you and how bad you want it.” Yes this is a somewhat good point but how brash? What kind of person would say that to someone?

[Patrick]

I'm sorry to hear that you didn't pass.

It's hard for anyone to say, as far as whether or not you should have passed, without being there. And, even if I was, I wouldn't know anyway, since I'm not a martial artist.

However, if everything is how you say and the words you quoted are what was said, I'd probably try to find somewhere else... somewhere that had a healthier environment. What you describe doesn't sound like an idea situation to learn in.

Patrick

[bushido_man96]

I am glad that you brought this up, because it isn't something that we deal with a lot. However, the fact of the matter is that in a pass/fail grading, like many MA tests are/should be, there is always this possibility. We don't like to think about it, but it can happen. It has happened to me.

I think that the most important thing to do is to not quit attending the dojo. If you like the training, and you feel it is good and beneficial, then stick with it. This is a learning experience, just like a tournament loss. You learn from it, and move on.

Its tough to not compare your level to the ability level of others testing, but you are evaluated on what your ability level is, and how much you improve compared to how long you've been in.

Stick this out. Don't worry about what others think of you. In the end, this will make you stronger and better, and in the end, you'll know that your rank wasn't handed to you.

[joesteph]

My normal sensei told me when he informed me I didn’t pass that the main sensei wants me to work on my recoil and come down and test in his city in one month.

I realize you said a great deal, Shoto, explaining the situation as fully as possible, but I'm focusing on this particular sentence. It's not the same as being told you must go through another six months of training as preparation for the re-test. You have a one month wait, and that's something that you know you can handle.

I hope you stick with it. Good luck to you.

[Truestar]

I think bushido man nailed it. If you can stick it out and just deal with it in the end you'll be the better martial artist and the better person. This sensei that has a bone to pick doesn't regularly visit your school? I got the impression he's the one that travelled up to do the grading, in which case makes it easier for you to not only focus harder for your next test but talk to your sensei one on one and discuss the issue.

If this happens again though, sadly I would consider moving on.

[tallgeese]

Bushido man is right, taken the right way this can certainly nmake you a better ma-ist. As long as you feel that you're in a good school for you that's doing the things you want, keep pushing forward.

[Shoto4Life]

I think bushido man nailed it. If you can stick it out and just deal with it in the end you'll be the better martial artist and the better person. This sensei that has a bone to pick doesn't regularly visit your school? I got the impression he's the one that travelled up to do the grading, in which case makes it easier for you to not only focus harder for your next test but talk to your sensei one on one and discuss the issue.

If this happens again though, sadly I would consider moving on.

The sensei that doesnt like me is one of three we have as regular senseis that rotate teaching. I think thats part of the go to the other city and test because it takes this sensei that doesnt like me out of the equation.

Thanks for the input guys! My gut tells me to keep going because I love my style. I wouldnt drop out of college because of a failed test and/or a professor I didnt like would I? But Im just not sure I can get my head around it. Im also not keen as to going to another city in an unfamiliar dojo to test. I think part of him saying a month is just to try and sound better and keep me on board. Somehow I dont think itll end up being a month.

I was really counting on it for much needed inspiration and motivation.

[joesteph]

[i'll] go to the other city and test because it takes this sensei that doesnt like me out of the equation.

A good move. Even if it's a different school, it'll be "friendlier" to you.

I was really counting on it for much needed inspiration and motivation.

That's why you've got us, Shoto.

[Truestar]

I wouldnt drop out of college because of a failed test and/or a professor I didnt like would I?

Well, chances are your professor is going to teach you for a shorter number of years, whereas Martial Arts can be a lifelong experience. I could put up with a professor for a couple years, but a Martial Arts instructor for 20? I don't think so.

If its not unbearable then absolutely stick to it. It sounds like you're a strong enough person so you'll be able to do so.

[tallgeese]

Ok, I know I said stick it out, and I really think that if it's more about just a failed test than anything.

However, remember that you are paying for a service (not a promotion). If you are at odds with a primary instructor who's responsible for most of your training, there's nothing wrong with moving on. There are enough schools out there you probibly wouldn't even h ave to change systems.

Heck, even if you did a lot of stuff will be similar. There is only so many ways to crank on the human body after all. I don't buy into the unlimited loyalty to one's insturctor. If you're paying him, there's a business relationship as well. Make sure you're getting your learning out of it. Sometimes it takes a few schools to find a good fit for you based on goals and personaltities on both sides.

If it's only about promotion, just wait and keep training. If there is a serious clash of personalities, moving on might not be off the tabel. Each situation is different.