"Striking" a Woman

[joesteph]

We were going over certain block and strike combinations last week, and the fellow I usually pair up with was having a coordination problem linking the two. My instructor, a woman who's reached fourth dan, had me work with her with him looking on. She's a trained fighter; I sincerely respect her martial art prowess; doing the block was no problem; when I had to do the strike, a ridge hand that I'd been practicing and have down pretty well, I looked at her and paused. Then I let the ridge hand fly in its arclike motion, stopping about an inch short of her neck with the required "Kihap!"

I know I wouldn't have paused with the man I usually pair up with, nor another male adult student I'm sometimes paired with, because I haven't paused in the past when it came to strikes.

Do other men in the forum find themselves hesitant when doing striking movements against a fellow woman student? Have you had that in the past but it's since disappeared? Never really disappeared? Mine is done non-contact; what about dojos/dojangs where there is contact? She reviewed a takedown move with me and other students only the week before; I wasn't uncomfortable, and there was a joint-lock finish. Was it because it was a strike?

Do the women members of the forum generally find the men hesitant? Hesitant at first? No, not hesitant at all?

Just to clarify: I'm not speaking about creating single-sex classes; I'm referring to pausing or hesitation on the part of the men.

[unknownstyle]

i think if you see them in a different light it is kind of the same as disrespecting them completely because they are a woman. in my school i will hit whomever with the amount of force i know that they can handle, (i come from a very hard okinawan style) and have never had a hesitancy to do so.

they should be treated as equals and i think when we hesitate it displays that we think they are weaker and cannoy handle it.

i dont mean any disrespect just passing on the wisdom that was given to me

[DWx]

I would rather a partner hit me with the same force he would if I were a man. I know that they don't mean to, but when somebody deliberately goes lighter on you or hesistates, it does feel like your not on the same level and like they don't respect you or your ability. I don't think I've ever had it be a problem though. Occaisionally if a guy starts coming to the sparring class and they don't know me, then they might be a bit hesistant but usually after the first roundhouse they start sparring me as an equal. I think a lot of it comes down to the traditional values of society, like when your a kid and boys get told its wrong to hit girls. You just have to kinda rework that mental programming.

Its does neither of the people any good. Because you've got that psychological barrier the guy may be more hesistant to hit a female in self defense (it could happen) and the female doesn't experience full intensity combat so they are less prepared for self defense. As a female in MA, I don't come to class to play tag sparring, I come to learn MA. Believe me, you're doing me a favour if you hit me properly.

[Tiger1962]

My spouse and I spar each other from time to time and we try to keep it real. No hard feelings of course, but we do let a few curse words slip when one of us gets the lucky shot. I've been hit harder by some women classmates than by men so I can only say it all depends on the scenario, and situation / class. Some have held back and some have not - I've been on both sides of the coin. Personally, I tend to hold back if I am paired up with a significantly older person or a very young person (male OR female). Perhaps that's wrong or not, but that's what I do.

The thing about contact in martial arts is --- yes, I agree having contact prepares you for the real thing, whether you're a woman or a man. If you want to train to be prepared for real life situations, (especially women) then yes, contact is crucial. But, the fact remains that some martial arts styles are philosophical and traditional in that contact is not part of the curriculum. Now, depending how important this is to you, should determine which style martial arts you train under. If contact is part of that m.a. style, then man or woman, you have to be prepared and know that you're going to have contact. If contact is not part of the m.a. style you train under and its REALLY important to you, then cross-training or taking up another style might be your best bet. I would gauge it by what your instructor teaches.

Edited September 27, 2008 by Tiger1962

[tallgeese]

I typically have a hard time using the same level of contact. Generally, it's because of the weight difference so I rarely drop my full 170 lb plus mass into a shot on a 110 lb female. Would I on a male of the same 100 lb frame/ I don't really know, I haven't trained with one.

I do from time to time get to train with a female who boxed professionally and we do make pretty good contact. She's a little closer in weight as well, though still not within a couple of weight classes. I think it has to do more with a skill level than anything.

Bottom line in most circumstaces though: hesitate, no. Scale back the contact, yes.

[unknownstyle]

you should scale back contact no matter what gender it should be based on rank and what you know the certain individual can handle.

[bushido_man96]

Bottom line in most circumstaces though: hesitate, no. Scale back the contact, yes.

you should scale back contact no matter what gender it should be based on rank and what you know the certain individual can handle.

This is how I approach the situations as well. I always try to spar with my top speed, but I monitor the contact and the intensity as much as I can so that my partner can still have an opportunity to learn and assimilate whats going on.

I agree with unknownstyle when it comes down to each individual.

[tori]

I am a female and have been a part of my dojo for quite sometime. Of course, when I started as a white belt, other upper rank men and woman sparred me with some hesitancy and no contact - once. They didn't know that I had a black belt in another style. Once they saw that I was blocking and striking with some accuracy, they picked up their pace. I at this point, am still the only black belt adult female in our school. There are plenty of black belt men. They do a good job at treating me equally. The best was last night when my instructor was using me for a partner to teach a kumite drill. He was REALLY hitting me. I remember thinking - "this is great!" I had so much fun and some pain He treated me (as always) the way he treats everyone. I appreciate that. Most woman do. Now we have had woman in class who do not want that elevated level of contact. You figure it out right away.

[Adonis]

As what is mentioned before its that programming for guys not to hit women.

[joesteph]

Thank you all for your responses.

It seems that the best way to go is by each individual's size, as well as taking belt levels into consideration. So long as all involved know the rules of the dojo/dojang (light, moderate, or full contact; non-contact), then there's an "equal" playing field, an "equal" martial arts atmosphere for all to profit by.

Thanks again!