Defending a bystander/family situation (bodyguarding)

[bushido_man96]

We talk a lot about defending ourselves in a situation. But, what if we have a family member(s), like children/spouse, or, maybe a charge we have been hired to protect. How would you go about accomplishing your goal when it is to protect someone else first, as opposed to protecting yourself?

[tallgeese]

Pretty much the same way. The difference becomes that they get put higher on the priority scale than you do. Also, your awareness skills come into a much higher play in and effort to aviod trouble all together.

Your positioning will usually put yourself in a more exposed position than that of your charge. Think about it, when you have your kids with you, I'd put money on you walking inbetween them and anyone that looks shady in the mall. Same priinciple.

I usually feel that I will ratchet up my response to just about anything when my kids are involved. Not off the deep end or anything, but it will take less for me to move up he force continuum. (My personal rule for my kids in public is that I won't let them any further from me than I can make good center mass hits on an abductor, but that's just my twisted thinking).

Just some thoughts.

[bushido_man96]

I try to be aware when I am out and about, like when we walk as a family. If I see dogs out, I'll put myself between the dog and my youngest. I'll walk on the side of the walk that is close to the curb, and keep the kids on the inside. I try to just think of little things like that to just be aware.

[Roys15]

There are certain styles of martial arts designed specifically for bodyguards. If you are charged with protecting another, you must realize that your life means nothing! Fear of death(whether your own or an opponent's) is not an option for a protector. When defending oneself, your incapacitation is acceptable, because you are just looking after yourself, but in a protector status you cannot fail in your attempts to incapacitate an attacker, because then you have not only killed yourself, you have also effectively murdered your charge(s).

But here is the real question you must ask yourself: If one is ready, willing and eager to attack you, then do you not provide protection for humanity itself? If any Martial Arts practitioner fails to incapacitate an aggressor, has he not failed his purpose? one who attacks another will hurt all others.

Martial Artists are humanity's body guards.

[Tiger1962]

Funny you mention this because I've often thought it about it from time to time. Although my husband and I both train, and physically he's bigger and stronger than I, if we were ever in a situation where he was attacked by surprise, I'd definitely jump in to help him. I can not tell you what I would actually "do" per se, in a dangerous situation, but one thing I do know is I would not stand there and do nothing.

Case in point: when I was in my early 20's, (no martial arts training), I was in a club with a old boyfriend and another guy was hitting him. Without hesitation, I jumped on the guy's back and I kept hitting and kicking him to get him off of my friend. Luckily the bouncer saw the whole thing and knew the other guy started the fight so we weren't arrested or in trouble. But oddly, it was just my instinct to jump in and help. However, now that I think about it, if the guy had shown a gun, I'm not so sure I would have jumped in so quickly & without hesitation.

[The BB of C]

I've jumped in and broken up fights or helped a bystander a couple of times. Thankfully it was only twice. Once in high school and once I broke up a couple of punk-rocker mall rats. So I wasn't dealing with too high a power level. So I'm confident that I wouldn't let myself stand around. But both of those times, I did stand and stare for about five seconds both times. It took me that long for my brain to register the situation and make a decision.

I think it's because I've been sheltered growing up. But when I see violence happen right in front of me it sends kind of a paralyzing shock through me. Kind of like "Wow is that really happening?" Then I snapped myself back to reality and jumped in to break it up.

[JohnC]

Comment on BBofC's post.

Before jumping in as the hero, I'd caution that you should ask the apparent 'victim' if they want your help / interference. Getting their expressed approval puts you in a better legal position after the fact should things head south. Additionally, note that sometimes these situations can be a setup where either the 'victim' waits for you to turn your back and then attacks or the group essentially lies about the event to the cops and tries to get you in a subsequent civil suit.

This doesn't mean one shouldn't engage. It simply means watch your back. After all, in such situations, one rarely knows the players.

Just a thought.

[tori]

I do not think that I would ever allow myself to be hired to protect anyone. I can't say that I value some celebrities life more than my own. Maybe that is selfish to say, but its true. I wouldn't put my life in jeopardy for Brittney Spears

As for my children, it wouldn't matter if I had Martial Arts training or not. I would go ballistic on anyone who tried to harm my kids.

Same goes for my husband, siblings, parents, cousins, aunts, uncles... You have the picture.

[Traymond]

If I had to protect someone knowingly, than I would have to say that I would have already accepted death, in all of its terms. But no matter what your religion, you should always be accepted to death, because its never truly the end.

But I would never allow myself to protect someone as a job, because, how can any one really say that they are good enough to protect someone from death, if its your time your gone.

But I would but into a fight if I thought that the person was gonna get hurt, and I was confident that I could take the person down, without causing any body to much harm.

but then again, maybe I wouldn't cause I dont know what I would do if someone pulled a knife on me, I may kill the person cause Im not sure what would kick in.

[joesteph]

We talk a lot about defending ourselves in a situation. But, what if we have a family member(s), like children/spouse, or, maybe a charge we have been hired to protect. How would you go about accomplishing your goal when it is to protect someone else first, as opposed to protecting yourself?

To me, Brian's OP asks the question, "When does my duty to others exceed my duty to myself?" However, the OP's references to family member(s) and a charge automatically press us into the arena--"When" is identified.

I am the father of two small children, the son of two elderly parents, and a teacher of high school students (all females).

If I were in a "street situation" with my children or parents, it may be that I would react in the same manner as without them. I may size up my opponent(s) and respond accordingly, whether by fighting or turning over my wallet. I believe I have a greater duty to hand over the wallet if my children or parents are present, defusing the situation in the least violent manner. It may likely be much safer for them. This does not mean that it's automatic; it means that it's a course of action I have to give greater weight to.

Should an opponent--or opponents--attempt to take my children, and, believe me, I'm always on the lookout, there is no recourse but to fight, with the strong possibility of having no limit to the level of violence I would utilize. I do not believe the "snatching" situation I am describing regarding my children would occur with my parents, so I'll move on.

As a teacher, and teachers act in the place of the parents while students are under their care/charge, I have been on field trips with students, meaning that the school safeguards (cameras, all entry doors locked, etc.) are not there as a barrier. These trips are well-organized and usually have no self-defense/protection problems arise. However, I have wondered if my very presence as a faculty escort has caused a troublemaker to change his mind. I have been in the situation in which students returned from a trip during the winter, and therefore early darkness, and remained with them until their lifts arrived. That's "bodyguarding" as far as I'm concerned, and it's possible that my very presence prevented someone from stopping his car to cause trouble.

Still as a teacher, and still acting in the place of the parents, there are lockdowns and evacuations. We have never practiced an evacuation, but we have practiced lockdowns. The room is to be locked; the lights are to be out; the blinds are to be drawn; the teacher should have his cellphone "on" in order to keep in communication. This may not sound like martial arts, but it is protecting those under my charge, and I believe it should be included. Part of these drills is to be strict that no talking is permitted. When every classroom in a building is like this, and on two floors, the police have explained that a lockdown works more effectively.

"Defending" is not always about fighting. It can be preventative measures and even yielding your wallet to contain the situation. If it does resort to violence, it must be that it was in response to the power of the situation.