Students Related to Instructors/Studio Owners

[Tiger1962]

Have you ever witnessed a student who is related to the instructor/studio owner - be it son/daughter, spouse, brother/sister, etc., get different or special treatment from the instructor?

What was it and do you think it was fair ?

[NewEnglands_KyoSa]

No actually. Fortunately all of the instructors i've had have been very fair if not harder on 'their own'. One of my instructors owned the school and his son was in it, and he didn't get special treatment, in fact it took him 8 years to get his black belt. One of my other instructors owned his own school and his daughter was testing for black belt and on the night of her test she was sick with a 103 temperature and she asked him if she could just not show and do it later. He said no, everyone is required to show and test no matter what. You miss it you can try again in 6 months.

I've had siblings and kids i mentor in my class and i treat them no differently, maybe harder at times. Is it fair to treat them a little harder? Maybe not, but they know it's coming and if they end up staying for the long haul it makes them all the more tough. I haven't seen extremes in either direction though.

[bushido_man96]

My instructor has always been tougher on his own kids. I have not seen any favoritism since I have been there.

[ps1]

Unfortunately I've seen alot of it.

At a prior school I saw a spouse earn a black belt without knowing all of the forms and was not willing (don't confuse this with incapable) to do throws...which were part of the curriculum. Overall...she was 4th kyu at best. Now she's a 4th degree though. She's still horrible.

[Tiger1962]

I have seen situations leaning in both directions. Meaning, the instructor being extra tough on their family member or spouse AND being very lenient and lax.

Especially when, let's say you are a conscientious student, pay your tuition on time, train and follow protocol, it is extremely disheartening and disappointing to see your instructor, someone whom you look up to, to treat certain others with partiality when they don't deserve it.

Would you still continue to train there? How would you handle the situation? Do nothing ?

[NewEnglands_KyoSa]

I don't know honestly. I think treatment and situations like that come in degrees ranging from minor to extreme. If it leans more towards extreme where it's very disheartening to your studies and/or affects your studies i might consider leaving. But just the fact that Martial Arts typically isn't like a team thing, it's a lot about YOU the practitioner and ME the practitioner, kind of united but alone sort of thing? I think that, that philosophy of karate being about me and kind of forget about others and focus on my own training would get me through it. But like i said, all of this depends on how bad the situation is.

[tallgeese]

Gotta vote with the "depends" crowd on this one. Is it a bad problem, is it disruptive? Is the violation so ergregous that it calls the integrety of the teacher into question? The 4th dan story from above would give me pause on this one.

I've been lucky enough to not have to deal with this, but I know it happens at larger facilities.

[The BB of C]

Unfortunately I've seen alot of it.

At a prior school I saw a spouse earn a black belt without knowing all of the forms and was not willing (don't confuse this with incapable) to do throws...which were part of the curriculum. Overall...she was 4th kyu at best. Now she's a 4th degree though. She's still horrible.

I would flip out I'm not sure I'd be able to quietly watch that happen.

My Kuk Sool Won instructor had a daughter who has a black belt in the style. But for that particular school, black belt doesn't say much. Plus I've never once seen his daughter in a class in the three years since I was there so I don't know how she gets treated. I think she either went to a different school or was learning before I joined, or both.

[bushido_man96]

Would you still continue to train there? How would you handle the situation? Do nothing ?

As long as the training was good for me, I was getting what I wanted out of the class, and the instructor was good (as far as that goes), I would stay and train. I tend to worry more about my own progress and abilities than those of other students.

Now, if said person with said rank decided to start pulling said rank, and being a bit out of line, then I would probably either say something, or prepare to leave the school.

[tori]

I have seen it happen in my school. My instructor was particularly hard on his own child and very leniant on his wife. He treats the rest of the class as he treated his son. In that, I am grateful. In all honesty men, would you want to be really hard on the woman you have to go home and live with? If my husband treated me the way that my instructor treats us, I would kick the crap out of him.