Question for head instructors

[Sibylla]

Consider this:

Male student, with instructor rank in another art, does a very fast jump to shodan in new art. From the beginning he badmouths other students, particularily female. When sempai is instructing, he is disruptive. In one instance, he goes against the female sempai instructors descision over a discpline matter which he is not involved in. But the student who gets disciplined, is his buddy. The other student is a long term female student in the dojo. So this guy contests the instructors decision loudly, and then proceeds to bad mouth the other female. The class is in disruption. The head instructor have been aware of this behavior, and gets notified of this episode as well. What would you do, as head instructor?

[NewEnglands_KyoSa]

So as to cause no disrespect or unrest i'd talk to the offender in my office and tell him that his actions are inexcusable. He's been given a lot of opportunities and has been treated very nicely. I would explain iam very disturbed by his actions and give him a warning, and if this occurs again i would have to dismiss him from the school. Before he joins though, i would like an apologize from him to the woman who he called out in the middle of class, and the sempai.

Also i would call the students affected(the woman, the sempai, etc.) and explain that the matter has been handled and the student should not be treated any differently. He has one more chance, and if they think something violates this chance to tell me(the head instructor) and i, and ONLY i will dismiss him. I would then ask for everyone to put this behind them and act normally.

Hope this helps. and good luck with this situation, sounds sticky.

[Sibylla]

That sounds like a good way to handle it.

Well, this is what actually after...

Another male student, that was present at what happened but had notjing to do with it as such, emailed the head instructor. He told about the episode, but also took the liberty to attack the female student who was called out, on a unrelated matter. This email the headinstructor forwards to the female sempai for comments.

Next class, with the head instructor, nothing happens. After class the person that was called out, who knows about the emails but not the full content of them, talks with the head instructor about the episode, basically saying that she thinks it is way out of line. Head instructor mentions the emails, but not the full content of them. He says he will talk with the guy, but gives the impression of if she hadn't said anything, he wouldn't have delt with it at all.

Then, after that, she gets the full content of these emails from the sempai. She tells the head instructor that she is now is starting to feel very uncomfortable about the whole situation. She also tells the person who sent this email to begin with that she thinks he is conducting himself in a bad way. The guy responds with involving the board of the club furthering his complaints now making them even bigger, and she responds once again, to him, but also to the board, that he conduct himself bad, using one matter as a spin for another matter.

Well, the female student is obviously me, and I dread the thought of next class and the next step in this silly story.

[NewEnglands_KyoSa]

This is very sticky and in my professional opinion you musn't go any further in speaking. This is because you want to make 100% sure you will not be looked upon as the bad guy. So, unless you are spoken to by your instructor about this i would respectfully decline speaking any further about this with anyone else. No disrespect to you, but i think that you should not have seen or heard about the contents of this email or even that it occured because now it is causing a problem. I think that it may also have been wrong of the sempai to take a private email between him, the head instructor, and the person who sent it and speak of it to anyone else, even if it affected you. Me, as an instructor would not do that, and avoid the further conflict it has caused and also the uncomfortability and general awkwardness it is causing you ma'am. Instructor matters are instructor matters for a reason, that is obviously the case now that you are afraid to go back to class.

In my opinion, and judging this on my own prior experiences i would say this needs to be squashed immediately in a team effort fashion by the head instructor and sempai, not a tag team, and not ganging up, but by with the head instructor leading the way and the sempai taking a firm stance behind him. Nothing looks worse than a student/co-worker disagreeing with his head instructor on matters such as this. The head instructor needs to take control of this before it ruins your training experience. Because women in the MAs are already looked down upon and often times have to prove themselves to be accepted, that doesn't happen everywhere BUT that's just the way it USUALLY is. You don't need anymore reason to make things harder on yourself. Like i said, ease this on your end and try to be quiet. But honestly i'd give it a week or so(no more than two!) that should be enough time for the instructor to think, get a feel for what's going on in class, watch a class or two behind the scenes, speak to the sempai and make a decision. If he does not make a decision and training becomes hard for you, and the disrespect continues, i would strongly consider, and i highly recommend you leave. Respectfully, with a letter(so carefully written) explaining your thoughts and why you are leaving(don't just up and leave, that only leads to more trouble and having your name dragged through the mud!).

I am truly sorry this is happening to you ma'am. It only takes little political or 'clicky' things like this that make the training experience tainted and not worth it. I personally would not tolerate this in my dojo/dojang and would be very upset with mostly everyone involved, sempai and all. I wish you much luck and i hope things changed. Hope this helped!

[Sibylla]

Thank you very much, it makes things clearer for me, and helps a lot.

I agree entirely that the head instructor should deal with these things on his own. As a woman, I think it is easy to become sensitive to some things, but that is also something instructors need to be aware of.

thanks again! I'll be neutral and quiet, and see what will happen.

[NewEnglands_KyoSa]

Good, im glad i could be of some assistance. Emotions can run high in MAs for various reasons and instructors need to be prepared to deal with that because people are only human and it will happen. But, it sounds like you have things handled...keep me posted, and let me know how things go!

[tori]

Wow, alot of politics going on in your dojo. The Head instructor needs to get ahold of his classes. In my opinion, there should never be any type of disruption in a class like what you have had. It can directly affect students in the class who had nothing to do with it all. I am not a head instructor, I am an assistant instructor and even when I am running the class, my instructor is in charge. If there is any talking back at all, the student(s) are immediately reprimanded by him privately and sometimes sent home for the night. I wish you luck in this situation.

[bushido_man96]

The head instructor is responsible here. If he does nothing, I think I would consider other alternatives.

[Sibylla]

Thank you for the support. I've made my mind up that I will leave if there is anything more now, I'll just walk out of the dojo.

[NewEnglands_KyoSa]

I think you've made a very hard, but very good decision here. I wish you luck. Let us know how you made out.