Too old, fat, etc. to progress?

[Catmom]

The reason I left the school, and the reason I gave, is because I just plain ran out of money. I haven't worked for almost eight months, and I ran out of savings and unemployment benefits, and everything that wasn't a strict necessity (like mortgage, electricity, food) had to go.

But when (I'll be hopeful here and say "when") my circumstances get better, before going back or even making the decision whether or not to go back, I want to have a serious heart to heart with the guy. At that point, he's not my sensei, and I'm not his student. I'm a nonstudent trying to figure out whether to join the school. You're not ever supposed to ask about tests, belts, or your next rank, but I won't have anything to lose. I won't be a student then, and worse comes to worst, I won't become a student. But I want to know why I never progressed to my next rank (after YEARS), what was holding me back, and what I have to do to move forward. And I'm not going to accept the "it's not about the belts; belts are meaningless; blah blah blah." If the belts meant nothing, we wouldn't hand them out.

It's like coming home on Halloween with an empty bag and being told "it's not about the candy; it's about the fun of Halloween." Yeah, then why do all the other kids have candy, and I don't?

I'm also looking into a couple other things. I suspect the weight and fatigue might be a thyroid and adrenal problem, and I want to get that checked out. Also, I want to look into rejoining the SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism) and getting back into archery and medieval fighting.

I'm really a gentle, nonviolent person, but I guess fighting's just in my blood.

[ninjanurse]

Please don't leave martial arts! If your old sensei can't (or won't) teach you find another-this is too important to give up on. Keep us posted!!

[white owl]

I know how you feel, but I would not quit the Martial Arts over it. I recently felt like doing that to, but before I would quit I would went some where else.

[Tiger1962]

After reading your post, right off the bat I was saying to myself the "problem is with her instructor and not her".

I agree with the others. If you can afford to continue to train, please keep training. I know how hard it is to find something you enjoy AND are good at. You should have a private meeting with your instructor and voice all the concerns you mentioned here. If that doesn't change things or give you some insight as to what the issues are, then you need to change schools. Again, the problem is NOT you, it's your instructor / school. You should not feel like you don't belong because your instructor lacks good communication (and business) skills.

I've seen similar situations. Sometimes students idolize their instructor so darn much that they fail to see that they are human and make mistakes (sometimes big ones!) and are not infallible. They don't want to call them on anything they think is wrong. Noticing judgment errors in ones instructor and addressing them does not make one a disloyal student either. Think again, not only are you training, but you are PAYING to train and learn so the business end of it is, if you aren't getting what you are paying for, then its time to discuss the matter. You are paying to be taught and you are not being taught. Personally, I hate the whole concept of not asking about rank advancement. You need to gauge your progress and asking about it doesn't mean you are being egotistical or un-humble. Its more a matter of: "okay, where do I stand, what do I need to work on and what is the timeline." Some martial arts rules are just plain silly.

Remember, martial arts is for people from all walks of life: male, female, young, old, disabled or not, of all sizes and shapes and color. That's why it's so enjoyable.

Talk to him and then if that don't work then find a new school.

Good luck !!

[doug_kissaki]

I have to agree with what everyone has said.

It actually makes me sad to hear you say you've been training but not progressing. Provided you don't have serious physical limitations, there is no reason that should happen. It really is the Sensei's responsibility to make sure you do.

When you go back (and I'll be hopeful for you too), there is another avenue you can explore. If your instructor does not have the time to devote to you (many "masters" unfortunately feel they are above one-to-one help with a lower betl), ask any other senior belt to help you. I have never seen a senior level student refuse to help a junior.

[furry_Homeboy]

I also agree with what everyone has said, but also I want to make sure you realize that martial arts training does not have to be expensive. If you look around enough you will be able to find schools that are not very expensive. They may not have buildings or an actual physical school, but they may still be at least just as qualified instructors. Some teachers may make exceptions if you let them know that you are having financial issues and may help you continue training.

Also, it's important to remember that the ultimate goal of the martial arts is not physical improvement or gaining the power to defeat others, but rather spiritual improvement or improving yourself. As famous master Gichin Funakoshi said, "The ultimate goal of karate lies not in victory or defeat, but rather in the perfection of the character of it's participants." At some point, our progress starts to slow and the only way our technique improves is by changing our mindset. Physical improvement only goes so far, but it is what is inside that truly counts. When you can no longer improve your physical technique, improve your spirit.

Everyone can utilize their unique qualties to become proficient in the martial arts but each person will also be different. If you are still worried about technical proficiency and physical prowess, then keeping in mind that you can become proficient even while being underweight, or overweight, "too old", etc., however you will be different than somebody else. I remember one of my senseis telling me about how they once had a similar crisis of doubt. She is a small woman and when she was learning her instructor was a strong man. She felt she would never be able to develop the amount of power and strength that he exhibited and so expressing this concern to him he said that it's probably true, but someday she will be so quick that it's won't matter.

Everyone has unique strength and weaknesses.

Good Luck and never give up. As long as your are having fun, nothing is ever wasted. Find the path that you feel is right for you. We all have unique paths. Remember "do no seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise, but rather seek what they sought."

[furry_Homeboy]

Oh wow, I guess I didn't realize this thread is more than a year old.

[Truestar]

I'd be interested in an update though. I was reading through and would like to know where the poster stands today.