New Here. Have a question--stubborn student.

[Kieran-Lilith]

He came to class last night and I got a chance to talk to his mom. She said he doesn't do well in "stressful" situations. The class he had a meltdown in was a rank test. In that class they can advance by time and participation. They don't have to perform perfectly and have help with the techniques.

I did a lot of drills and praise for him and he participated and had a good time. I think I just need to work with him more about handling stress. He seems too young to be so stressed out.

Actually, come to think of it, we had a student who was similar about stress. Strangely, these kids are really driven to perform well when they do, and stress doesn't help them. We were playing dodgeball one night and he started sobbing whenever he got out. He wanted to stay in and play, and to get out got him really upset. When we'd do drills, he'd want to use the bathroom. He was really quiet for a long time. Now, he's fine. He gets a lot of one-on-one, and once the kids build some confidence, it works wonders. I think it helped that he beat a brown belt in a game. That does wonders for any kids confidence (except the brown belt, of course, but they're different).

I would say really do one-on-one, tons and tons of praise, build confidence, and most kids snap out of it. Then you can treat them normally and it doesn't freak them out.

[tori]

Well this is certainly very interesting. Telling a group of four year olds that they should do something or they will do something they would not enjoy is the entire basis of discipline and self control. Not every child is going to 'want a sticker' and some may even hate the stickers so that also could be the wrong approach. There is a way to maintain a positive atmosphere and still be disciplined in what you do. Our students get positive reinforcement when they follow directions, do a certain technique right, put an outstanding effort forth, etc...but they get it verbally and knowing how i was brought up and taught, that is more than enough. If my Instructor gave me an 'atta-girl' for doing something i would be beaming for the rest of the night and try to put my best foot forward to get a similar comment again. Usually trouble children aren't the ones who are going to want a pretty sticker, and are usually the ones who would take it off and throw it on the floor...but thats just my experience with so-called 'trouble students'

Actually, the kids love the stickers. Have you ever met a 4 year old that doesnt love stickers. Little things make them very happy and they try hard for us. Those who try are rewarded. Very rarely do we ever have to not give a reward for trying hard. If it happens, the kid gets bummed out that he/she didn't get a sticker while the others did. (it is actually a stripe that goes around their belt.)

You are right, an "atta girl" from my instructor means everything, but I am 35 and a black belt. Those things come far and few between for his black belt students. I am an adult and self motivated to train. I don't need that constant positive reinforcement to train. Small children do however. Telling them to do push ups is not going to make them want to participate. It is going to make them not want to come in at all.

Push ups for poor behavior is left to students who can understand why they are doing them. Not for toddlers.

[NewEnglands_KyoSa]

Well this is certainly very interesting. Telling a group of four year olds that they should do something or they will do something they would not enjoy is the entire basis of discipline and self control. Not every child is going to 'want a sticker' and some may even hate the stickers so that also could be the wrong approach. There is a way to maintain a positive atmosphere and still be disciplined in what you do. Our students get positive reinforcement when they follow directions, do a certain technique right, put an outstanding effort forth, etc...but they get it verbally and knowing how i was brought up and taught, that is more than enough. If my Instructor gave me an 'atta-girl' for doing something i would be beaming for the rest of the night and try to put my best foot forward to get a similar comment again. Usually trouble children aren't the ones who are going to want a pretty sticker, and are usually the ones who would take it off and throw it on the floor...but thats just my experience with so-called 'trouble students'

Actually, the kids love the stickers. Have you ever met a 4 year old that doesnt love stickers. Little things make them very happy and they try hard for us. Those who try are rewarded. Very rarely do we ever have to not give a reward for trying hard. If it happens, the kid gets bummed out that he/she didn't get a sticker while the others did. (it is actually a stripe that goes around their belt.)

You are right, an "atta girl" from my instructor means everything, but I am 35 and a black belt. Those things come far and few between for his black belt students. I am an adult and self motivated to train. I don't need that constant positive reinforcement to train. Small children do however. Telling them to do push ups is not going to make them want to participate. It is going to make them not want to come in at all.

Push ups for poor behavior is left to students who can understand why they are doing them. Not for toddlers.

Well in that case 'toddlers' as we call them should not be doing martial arts. And telling them to do push ups is an effective teaching aid, and as far as the not wanting to come at all thing, i have tons of students and a very low drop out rate so push ups are working out fine for me. Another great thing, is leaving the 'fun' things until the end so they have good behavior throughout. And i know(through years of psychology courses) that children are apt to look up to all older/adult figures in their lives(unless theyve gone through a traumatic expereince, etc) so 'atta girls' for children actually works too, if not better because as you get older you narrow down who you look up to, kids dont so naturally they look up to adults in their lives, so that approach could work as well, the kids don't have to be self motivated, and i would not expect them to be, they're kids.

[Senseimurphy]

I always try to disguise all my lessons for that age group in a game. That way they have fun but still learn something. My instructor taught me that every child should be praised at least once in every class. It really works, I've noticed that the slightest bit of attention/affection has them competeing for more for the rest of the class!

[NewEnglands_KyoSa]

I always try to disguise all my lessons for that age group in a game. That way they have fun but still learn something. My instructor taught me that every child should be praised at least once in every class. It really works, I've noticed that the slightest bit of attention/affection has them competeing for more for the rest of the class!

yes, even kids can appreciate praise from an adult. you don't need to be an adult to enjoy praise. praise is for all ages!