Would I be out of line to ask this of instructor?

[SkidRow]

My son is due to take his first grade in 2 weeks. He's only 7 but very hyper, messes around alot, gets quite a few press-ups!

He wasn't ready for the last grading but the sensei is considering him for this one.

As far as I know, the only problem is his partner work. Thing is, the child he has to partner with does not like him and the feeling is mutual, they just do not get on at all. The other child is 6 and constantly tells tales on him, she's quite bossy and tries to give him press-ups etc and it just turns him against her even more. Now when they're practicing their partner work she insists that he does everything twice and she doesn't have to attack etc and when he refuses she runs off to sempei and says that my son is messing around...therefore Sempei gets the impression that neither of them are ready to grade.

When they're asked to demonstrate their work my son does it very half heartedly because he cannot stand working with her, she doesn't seem to know the work at all and it just ends up looking like neither of them know it.

The frustrating thing is though, my son does know it, he does it flawlessly with me and last week he did it flawlessly with a brown belt 10 year old.

Therefore, would I be out of line to ask Sensei if my son can do his partnerwork with another partner? Or should my son accept that she is his partner whether he likes it or not?

Also, if its just the other child that doesn't know it, will the sensei pick up on that and realise that its only one of them or will they both fail it?

[marie curie]

This sounds like exactly the situation that a parent should go to the instructor about. For one thing, you are paying for your child to be taught and if he can't learn because he is always stuck with the same bad partner, then the instructor needs to address the situation in one way or another. This is why most dojos have people switch partners all the time. Also, if this is something that your son enjoys and wants to do well at, and this girl makes it something that he just want to get over with, then the instructor will probably end up loosing your business in a few months anyway.

[bushido_man96]

This is a tough one. You may want to express your concerns to the instructor, and he may help out. Hopefully, things improve for your son. It will be tough for a 7 year old, but you may have to tell him to just try to grin and bare it; don't let someone else stand in his way of performing well.

[NewEnglands_KyoSa]

I'd say inform him politely of the situation and leave it in his hands, not asking or requesting anything in particular be done, because that's when people of authority usually get offended and feel like you're 'doing your job for him'. so this way if you inform him of the problem, and after time it still occurs you can bring it up again, and maybe suggest splitting them. just my two cents, but i'd definately let him know what's going down. good luck to you and your son.

[pittbullJudoka]

I would have to agree with most of the comments so far. I would politely inform the instructor of what was going on and let them handle the situation because you and your son's partners parents are both payiing customers. I hope you can get things resolved.

[AikiGuy]

Yes absolutely tell the instructor. The tricky part is how to say it tactfully and without sounding like a whiny, over-protective parent.

Even very good instructors cannot keep an eye on every student at every moment. So he may not be aware of what you are seeing. Just mention it as an observation and ask the instructor what should be done about it or how you can tell your son to react next time. That way it won't sound like you are complaining about how the class is run (which may sound offensive) or just being picky about who your son partners with. Instead you are just asking for his professional opinion on the issue (which is what he's paid for). He may suggest another partner or something else without you suggesting it at all. If not, go ahead and ask if it is an option to switch partners. Make sure you mention they do not get along. He should not be upset at the question although he may not suggest a different solution.

And don't worry about the your son's age. Anyone who teaches kids is used to them. My son started when he was 6 and was goofy and very distracted but that was no surprise. If there are other kids in the class, this should not even be an issue.

Good luck. I hope you get it resolved soon.

[Senseimurphy]

Definately tell the sensei. One bit of advise I would like to give on this though, If you want to be able to disuss your childs progress at all try to get sensei alone. In the office or before/after class without other parents and students around. I am always reluctant to talk openly about student and parent issues right out in the open. Other parents can be very nosey and very chatty. I would also like to thank you for taking such interest in your childs martial arts training, I wish more parents did!

[ninjanurse]

Good advice senseimurphy. Discussions about students should take place privately if possible to avoid misconceptions and other problems. I also agree that parents should bring their concerns to the instructors attention as it is difficult to watch all the students all the time and we do miss things.

[Sasori_Te]

Sorry to be the fly in the ointment here. (Not really ) Why doesn't the instructor know this already? As an instructor myself for the past 15 years, I usually have a pretty good idea of the disposition of all my students. Of course, I don't teach children either, but that's niether here nor there. As a parent myself sometimes I think we tend to see the flaws of other people's children more quickly than our own. Don't be too surprised if the instructor already knows about the things you are concerned over. There may be a reason that he's allowing it or we may not be getting an entirely accurate picture of the whole situation. Of course with some schools and instructors out there now days, they could be totally clueless which is an entirely different problem. Regardless, I hope you have good luck resolving your problem.

[ninjanurse]

Whether the instructor knows it or not he/she should be open to taking with parents about such things. Open communication makes for better resolutions down the road when students are held back from promotion or other situations arise.