It's Your Destiny!

[ninjanurse]

This post was originally published as an article in a dedicated KarateForums.com Articles section, which is no longer online. After the section was closed, this article was most to the most appropriate forum in our community.

We have all heard "It's your destiny!" at sometime in our lives. Parents, teachers, coaches, friends - it seems they are all interested in what life has in store for you at one time or another and they are readily willing to declare this for us whether we believe it or not. Destiny is a funny thing. You can't feel it or try it out before you buy it, nor can you predict what turns and twists your life may take on your journey to get there. And do we ever really know when we have arrived... or do we need to claim it for ourselves when the time feels right? When is it time? Is there more in store for us after we have reached/fulfilled our destinies?

When I was a child, I dreamed of being a veterinarian, a sky-diver, even a jet pilot - but I never really thought about how I was going to get there. Childhood games and fantasies seemed enough to satisfy me at the time, but as I got older, reality sunk in. It seemed that all the goals I had set for myself involved taking quite a bit of risk... and I was definitely not ready or willing to step off the cliff and leave my safe life behind. What was I afraid of? After all, what was the worse thing that could happen?

Failure was not a word, feeling, or position that I put myself in often as a child. I liked to win... sometimes at all costs. This would, in the long run, end up costing me my self-confidence and drive as I became more and more wrapped up in the consequences of failing. Fear began to take the place of bravado and I settled into a safe, comfortable routine leaving my childhood dreams behind. Too bad it didn't go the other way... or is it? That's the funny thing about destiny... who knows what life has in store for us? Who knows what the right path is? Who knows what mistakes and missteps lead us to better choices and ultimate realization of our dreams? Who knows if fear and isolation will lead a person to emotional struggle or death or start them on a journey to a fulfilled life? Who knows...?

My competitive nature was not entirely blocked out by my fears, but I tended to choose those things I knew I could conquer and watched the risk takers from the bench. When I was fifteen, I happened to observe a friend of mine in Judo class and I was very intrigued by the competitiveness of it all - seemingly right up my ally except for that one thing: risk of failure; not to mention the pain of failure! I had several conversations with her and the instructor over the next few weeks and was finally convinced to come off the bench and give it a try. I soon discovered that Judo was a challenge that spoke to my fears quite loudly. But, for some reason, I was drawn to it. It was crazy! Why on earth would I deliberately do something I was terrified of failing at? But, for the first time in a long while, I entertained the thought that I might be able to handle a little bit of risk - as long as there was someone to guide me. Enter Herb Nye.

Mr. Nye was a friend of my dad's who just happened to teach Tang Soo Do across the hall from the Judo class. I was intrigued by the style and watched on occasion, but had no plans to leave the "safety" of my fellow Judoka anytime soon. Fortunately for me, my destiny had other plans! Just when I was getting ready to grade for the first time, the instructor announced that she was moving away and Mr. Nye graciously offered to take on any interested students immediately. Still intrigued by the martial arts and seeing that he was a friend of my dad's, I felt obligated to accept his offer and transferred my membership to his class. I had no idea how significant this change of style... and rekindling of fears was!

The first few months I revisited old territory. I doubted my decision, I feared failing, I shuddered at the thought of disappointing myself and my instructor who, throughout it all, remained supportive and calm, gentle and caring, positive and enthusiastic. Soon I decided, however, that he had a good thing going and somewhere along the line, I came to the conclusion that I wanted to know what he knew! His passion became my passion and I eventually became addicted to both the physical and mental challenges of martial arts. That said, the fear still remained. No matter how hard I tried, I could not conquer failure!

My perfectionist nature was well suited to the technical aspects of the art, but was in constant battle with my emotions when it came to overcoming any challenge. Fear of failure was still in control. But, Mr. Nye was always there to push me off the cliff, my "second" so to speak. His guidance and teaching set in motion an arduous journey and sparked a fire that smoldered for years until it finally burned through the many barriers I had built around my dreams and desires. Years later, through the continuing guidance and influence of other teachers, fear was replaced with anticipation of what could be and passion for helping others "find their destinies". No words could express the gratitude I feel for the "way" they taught me and the path they started me down.

Each day as I unlock the doors to my martial arts school, I am reminded of where I started on this crazy journey, those who guided my way, and the lessons that I learned. You will never know what your destiny has in store for you if you don't take a few risks, try new things, learn from your failures... and claim it for your own!

Many thanks to Herb Nye, Sensei Clyde Kanekoa, Tora Tanaka, Professor Wally Jay, Jim Callahan, Professor Gary Bower, Tom Callos, and Ernie Reyes, Sr. KWAN ZU!

[Patrick]

Thank you for the submission.

[bushido_man96]

Thanks for sharing your experiences with us, Heidi. I really enjoyed reading them.