My kid's in a funk

[kkennedy219]

Hi, all,

I need some advice on how to snap my 6 year old out of his karate funk that he's been in lately. He's been doing karate for about a year and a half, and until a couple weeks ago, he has absolutely loved it. Then all of a sudden he starts saying he doesn't want to go to karate and that it's too hard for him and that he always gets hurt. He has never gotten hurt...other than maybe a minor bump here and there...never even been bruised (our sensei is VERY careful not to let the peewees do anything crazy that they won't be ready for). But my boy has decided it's too hard for him (it's totally not. In fact, he's one of the more accomplished students in the class), and last night when we got to the dojo, he said his tummy hurt and that he just wanted to watch. Sensei was cool about it and just let him watch, but I'm almost positive the tummy ache was psychosomatic. So I talked to sensei about it later when I went back for my class, and he said he'd give my boy a pep talk, which should help, since Sensei has always been the big hero as far as my son is concerned.

Any other words of wisdom from karate parents (or non-parents) out there?

Thanks!

[bushido_man96]

Kids get burned out easily, and this very well could be his problem. Friends of his may be talking about things that they do for fun, but he can't do them with them, because of the Karate class. That is one thing it could be. There are others as well.

If he really thinks that it is hard for him, then try to talk with him about how he does it well, even though it is hard. Try to relate to him about how sometimes things will challenge you, and you can't just give up on them and quit because it makes you have to work and try harder. This may click with him, and it may not.

One other option is to give him a short break, by reducing the number of classes he goes to a week, or the like. That may help him get over the burnout, and renew his interest.

Kids are tough this way, and the kid that starts the Martial Arts at that early of an age and grows up with it as a part of him are few and far between. Listen to what he says, and try to help him out. In the end, if you force it on him, it will end up driving him away from it. He will have plenty of time to take it back up, and with some more maturity, may understand the challenges better.

[ps1]

I'm one of those "freak" kids that started training at 6 years old and never looked back. However, if memory serves me correctly, I only went to one class a week for a very long time. This allowed my mom to give me other activities as well (cub scouts, playing with friends ect...). I advanced very slowly as a result, but now I can boast 22 years of experience in the arts. As I got older I began to go more often. Once I was able to drive, I was there anytime class was going on.

I guess my point is that you may want to cut back the number of days he goes (assuming it's more than one). Reinforce him by telling him he does well. But the simple fact is that it's not uncommon for children to quit things. Even though you want him to stay with it, he may just be changing his mind.

[kkennedy219]

Thanks for the insight, guys. I've been trying to encourage him by telling him he's doing so great and he's really good at it, kind of like I encourage him with school and doing his homework and soccer etc, but you know...I'm just mom and he hears me squawking at him all day so my words seems to mean less sometimes. It's funny though because this morning he's all excited about going to karate tonight. I hope this change for the better lasts! Fingers crossed...

[bushido_man96]

That sounds good. Has the instructor spoke to him yet?

[Zorbasan]

the other thing you might find is that he just needs a break from it. im surprised that he has stuck with it for that long at this age, which is a credit to you and your son.

just wondering what grade your son is, is it possible that the older people of his grade are able to do things that he isnt due to his age? that may also be a factor

[kkennedy219]

He's in the little guys' class, where he's been since he started at age 4 1/2. They keep the white belt all throughout this class, but add a different color stripe after each grading. Then when they are old enough to move up the bigger kids' class, they test for their orange belt, which will be 9th kyu. The little guys all stay white/color stripe until they "graduate" becuase sensei feels they are just too little to progress too fast.

Anyway, my kid seems to be coming out of the funk. Yesterday he was all excited to go to karate, but then he started getting nervous about sparring in the car on the way there. I guess sensei told the kids they'd be sparring, but I didn't hear it. So sensei gave my kid a pep talk, and although he wasn't thrilled about having to spar (covered head to toe in protective gear), he did it anyway and guess what. He LOVED it. I think it helped that he won the first 2 matches. I gave him a big speech afterwards about how he showed real courage to do something he was scared of and how proud I was of him, which I think helped as well. Let's keep our fingers crossed it keeps getting better!

[bushido_man96]

That all sounds like it has worked out for him, kkennedy. It sounds like he was just really nervous about that sparring thing, and that could have stemmed this whole thing.

I'm glad to hear that he has gotten over this bump in the road.

[Zorbasan]

thats great to hear. sounds like he just needed a confidence booster.

[marie curie]

when i was a kid I got bored of karate. mom wasn't thrilled because she'd sunk a lot of money, for us, into my training, so she said I had to give it a couple more months, then if I still wanted to I could quit. over the next few weeks, she slyly rented the karate kids, the ninja turtles, and the 3 ninjas (yeh, even that one)... by the end of the two months I had a renewed interest because i remembered why i thought it was cool in the first place and noticed when some of the techniques were wrong in the movies, making me realize that I'd learned a lot.

but i think it really depends on the kid- why'd he want to do it in the beginning?