Unwanted sempai role

[Sibylla]

After some years of training, my sensei has started to promote me into a sempai role. For demonstration in class, teaching people smaller stuff etc. But it is not just working. The more he promotes me, the more marginalized I am becoming in the dojo. I am not exactly winning any popularity competitions to begin with, and putting me to teach people just makes it worse..I am not sure what to do with this.

[username8517]

Could you please expand more on "how it is just not working"?

Obviously your sensei feels you have the technical skill and knowledge to demonstrate and teach to lower ranks, which is why he promoted you to sempai rank. Why do you feel that popularity has anything to do with it?

Either the lower ranks are going to listen to you or they're not. There is nothing you can do about it.

What you can do is speak to your instructor and let him know any concerns you might have about lower ranks not listening and have him address the issue. But the bottom line is if they're not going to listen, they're only wasting their own time, instead focus on those that choose to listen and learn.

[lordtariel]

Here's the thing about this. Everybody above you is sempai, everybody below is kohai(I think). Doesn't matter what your rank is. As a white belt, everybody's a sempai. As they progress, they slowly start to fill in that role a bit themselves. I look at the position of sempai sort of like a big brother. Someone you can go to who's not necessarily in authority that you can go to for advice.

If you're really concerned about how you're getting separated from the rest of the students, talk to your sensei about it, but in some ways, you have a responsibility as a higher ranking belt to help out with the lower ranks.

[Sibylla]

It is not working because I do not think that the kohai/sempai system is that well ingrained in the dojo. There is possibly a lot of people that have not heard about it at all. I recently recieved an ranting email (!) from a student, a fairly new one, that basically said "I want to learn, but not from you, because you are not as nice to me as the sensei..." To complicate matters he has previously stated that he was indeed particulary interested in getting my feedback. And I think he has gotten some advice that has benefitted him. My answer to the student was that, I am sorry that you have had that experience with me, if you don't want feedback, ok. But please adress matters in the dojo, because it is easier to solve them that way.

I think I am pretty close to sensei in several ways. I listen to him and he listens to me. I think the common opinion is "the instructor likes her, but if I do not, I can chose to demonstrate that..".

I agree that I should adress this matter in some way with sensei. I think it will upset him..not sure though that I should include the email rant though.

[bushido_man96]

First of all, the sensei needs to inform everyone that you are going to be helping out more, and that they should show you the same respect that they show him. If they choose not to, then you need to let the sensei know this. Otherwise, people will just steamroll you. There are ways to "gain" respect, but I think that they are a last ditch option, in my opinion.

As for the person that sent you the email. If it were me, I would most likely have a heart-to-heart with this person myself, as opposed to going to the sensei first. However, the right thing to do is probably report it to the sensei, and let him know about the treatment you are receiving.

Not everyone is a teacher, and I firmly believe that. However, I do feel that higher ranks have an obligation to be able to assist with lower ranks when needed.

[Sibylla]

It could be that the email rant is a blessing in disguise that will make the sensei more aware of what is going on. At least he has to figure out what to do. And we do have other people that do not instruct possibly because they are not suited or have no interest in it.

The person that sent the email..I am not sure that a heart to heart is the right thing. His goal was to make me feel bad and then probably get me me to give him even more extra special treatment (than he was already getting). My first impulse was to point out some things. But based on his lack of experience, and also my need to not "roll over", I decided to show him the consequence, and also adding that he might want to go into the thinking box a little. He might not be satisfied with the answer now, but maybe in time it will become clearer to him. Things like this is something I guess most of us have been through.

[blackxpress]

You didn't mention what belt rank you are but I am assuming your promotion has something to do with preparing you for your black belt test. In our system you have to demonstrate your ability to teach the class before you can be approved to test for 1st Dan. Does your system have a similar requirement? If so, this is a natural part of your progression and you can't afford to resist it. I'm guessing your Sensei knows what he's doing. That's why he's the Sensei.

[Sibylla]

No we do not have such requirements. Our sensei will chose pretty much the one he wants. I guess I basically have to chose, what is more important, being on a good standing with my sensei or the rest? There is only so much he can do, discipline wise.

[bushido_man96]

I guess I basically have to chose, what is more important, being on a good standing with my sensei or the rest? There is only so much he can do, discipline wise.

The other students are going to test you, to see what they can get away with. Kids will do this, too. You will just have to put your foot down to them, and let them know what to expect from you. It may take some time, but they will get used to it.

[lordtariel]

The other students are going to test you, to see what they can get away with. Kids will do this, too. You will just have to put your foot down to them, and let them know what to expect from you. It may take some time, but they will get used to it.

Preparing you for life as a Sensei..... or a parent