My six year old son

[Buster]

Hi folks.

This is my first time posting on here and i'm looking for some advice.

My six year old son is currently studying karate at our local club.

On sunday he did his grading to attain his 6th kyu green belt in Sei-Do-Kai style.During the grading he was very restless and did'nt stay in his stance all the time.He did his combinations and his Katas like all the other kids at the grading.

At the end of the grading,the instructor lined all the kids up and told them their scores.He picked fault with all of them,without a positive word to say to any of them.He then got on to my son and told him that he had failed him ,but the other two instructors had passed him and that he was going to hold him back from the group.

Now iv'e been sitting in watching this class twice a week and I know that none of the group are any better than my son.I also sat in on the grading and watched that too.There were some that did better,but none that really shone.

My question to you is should the instructor do this or should he put that liitle bit more time in to help him stay with the group that he's always been with?

p.s he picked him up for lack of stength and concentration.

he's six years old and the grading lasted for an hour and a half,with a 3 minute drink break.

should we stick with this or perhaps look for another club?

[bushido_man96]

A no-change from a testing is nothing to be that worried about. It will make him better in the end, as long as you push through it. This is how I view the Martial Arts; it is a life-long journey, so what does it matter if you get held up on the way? There shouldn't be an end, so you just keep going.

Now, with that said, I don't think there is any room for nothing but negativity. The instructor may be stern and demanding of the students, and that can be ok. However, you shouldn't have to deal with a constant string of negativity. I don't think the instructor should share everyone's scores with everyone else, either. That is just me, though.

If you want to look elsewhere, then do so. Just make sure you don't trade to a school where the kids pass every testing, no matter what happens, just to make them feel good all of the time. Successes and failure are all a part of the Martial Arts, and neither should be taken away.

Welcome to the Forums!

[Buster]

Thanks for the advice.

Could I also ask an opinion on styles.

Do you think it's better to do a style where the kids get the oppertunity to fight and get them used to using what they are taught,i.e competitions etc

[bushido_man96]

Competitions can be beneficial, but I wouldn't say that they are necessary at that age. At this age, kids are mainly going to be learning movement skills. Learning serious self-defense at this age isn't very likely.

[ninjanurse]

I agree here! Also, students should be graded based on their potential and not compared to other students. Perhaps he sees more in your son than he showed at the test-this could be a plus.

[TigerDude]

Who tries to get 6 yo's to pay attention for 90 minutes? That's crazy!

I think it's up to you to decide if you like the instructor's methods or not. Mine tried to make a big life lesson out of my son's failed test & I thought he had gone too far. I don't need a karate instructor to raise my boy.

[marie curie]

Yeh, I've seen (and recommended) people be held back from their fellow rank-mates simply because they were not ready- most usually due in large part to poor attendance or lack of dedication. I don't think that there is anything wrong with that practice, in fact it is what is missing from a lot of schools, big however...

If your sensei has nothing but negative stuff to say all the time, particularly to 6-year-olds who just completed 90 minutes of testing... well I would consider that a bad attitudes and probably not the best learning environment for my kid. That's really up to the two of you. If he sees it as "Okay, I just have to work harder", then great, but if he is thinking "Sensei seems to only see failure in me, so that's what I must be and do", then probably find a new sensei.

Good luck!

***Edit***

I just talked about this with my fiance- another instructor- who identifies himself as the most critical martial arts instructor he's ever met, and he even thinks that not coming up with a couple good things to reinforce is crazy for adults, let alone for children.