Gay marriage/adoptions?

[three60roundhouse]

In the US there is a shortage of families who are willing to adopt children - this is probably because of great advances in fertilization and such, so what do you think about gay adoption? I have heard stories of gay men taking in 5 foster children with AIDS and then not being able to adopt those children. Look at Rosie O'Donnell....I believe she is a good person and a good mother, and I also do not believe that growing up with gay parents would necassarily turn you into a homosexual. If almost all gays come out of "straight" households, then how do we know what will become of the children of gayt households? Gay parents are very open with their children and encouyrage them to explore their sexuality more.

[Phantasmatic]

It is hard to keep this thread politically correct but here we go:

 

IMHO I think that homosexual people should be allowed to adopt kids..why not. But i think if the kids are 14 years of age they can choose whether or not they want to due to religious matters..that's my opinion...

 

 

[ckdstudent]

Here's the big question, and the one that's going to get me flamed. Is a homosexual partnership a stable environment for a child? Its known that single parent households are not as healthy (at least not usually) as two parent households, but what difference does it make when you've got two mothers or fathers? More importantly what do you have to deal with at school, when other children find out that your 'parents' are both the same sex?

 

I'm not stating my opinions on these for the simple fact that I like my head attached to my shoulders, but anyone else should feel free to.

 

 

[Patrick]

No flaming is going to go on, either it is going to be a civilized convo, or it won't be at all.

 

Thanks.

 

 

[KickChick]

well put ckd! ...

 

I'm right behind you on this one ... in fact if you need someone to catch your head I'll be sure to toss it back!

 

 

[Bitseach]

Yes, but in an ideal world there would also be sufficient stable two-parent families for each child that needs to be adopted. There are not.

 

It is not particularly relevant to say that homosexual couples are inherently less stable than heterosexual couples - both are pretty unstable it seems these days and many gay couples are together for decades; many straight couples last only a year or two. Even more teenage kids get pregnant with no means of looking after, caring for or paying for children and yet they are "allowed" to be mums!

 

I have no problem with gay couples adopting children - after all they will be subject to the same stringent vetting rules as hetty couples who wish to adopt so there should be reasonable grounds to suppose that an element of stability is already there amongst those gay couples that are allowed to adopt.

 

Incidently I know of a couple who had two children before they knew they were gay. The mum came out to herself, her friends and her children when they were about 11 and 13. Dad came out later. The two girls are now adults of 18 and 20 and are the loveliest, best balanced, coolest, most mature kids I have ever met. Oh yeah, and both kids are straight, as if it matters!

 

 

[ckdstudent]

Actually I really don't see that whether the kids turn out straight or gay is a problem. The main problem I do see is the bullying they might go through at school. Before it becomes common our culture really needs to adjust, you get gays murdered in the streets for just being what they are. I guarantee that the same would happen to their children.

 

 

[Ti-Kwon-Leap]

The bullies at school are the ones with the problem.

 

Why should the world have to wait for all the bigots to come to their senses before proceeding with life?

 

People are just going to have to accept the fact that homosexuals exist.

 

I think anyone, regardless of their orientation should have to prove themselves mentally and financially responsible before being able to adopt.

 

A child is a human being and should not be given away like so many kittens.

 

 

[ckdstudent]

Yes, the bullies at school are the problem, along with the bigots, but is subjecting children to even more bullying really the answer? Do you remember being bullied at school? Is it really necessary to give them more victims?

 

 

[Bitseach]

Hear hear, Ti-Kwon-Leap. And bullies also will bully for other reasons if they don't have that. In mixed ethnicity schools kids will be bullied for being black, or white, or whatever, in all-white schools they'll be bullied for having ginger hair (as I was!) or glasses, or spots, buck teeth or whatever.

 

So what should we do? Ban red-heads or ethnic minorities from classes because we think they might be bullied and we want to protect them from it or figure a way to deal effectively with the bullies? CKD I appreciate what you are saying - that you can minimise the risk to the kids, but really it's academic (pun intended!) when kids will find other stuff anyway.

 

I have worked with emotionally and educationally disturbed adolescents and am convinced that a more pressing issue is ensuring young people have parenting skills rather than the exact living arrangements of their parents. I don't know about where you live but in the inner London school where I work there are very few children with "normal" family arrangements of a mother and father living together harmoniously in the same house! Kids stay with aunts, grandparents, their single mothers, bungeeing between both parents, foster carers, co-parenting with a brother or sister, care homes, etc, etc, and to find any sort of stable home (carefully vetted by Social Services and the Adoption Agencies of course) is a boon, whatever the gender of the parents!