I hope you have children just like you!

[Zanshin]

Rising above is the goal...stooping to their level or below is not. I see a clear difference in responding to violence "on the street" and "in the ring"...self defense should be first in mind not saving face.

Put even better in my view. Sorry

[USCMAAI]

Update: The youngman in the story was just placed on probation for assaulting a girl he was dating. I guess he must have felt that she deserved it. My daughter no longer competes in touneys, she trains for the love of training and for self-defense. I havent seen her lose control of her self since this incident. It was a good learning experience for all of us. I really appreciate everyones comments, even those of you who were critical..gave me somethings to think about. thanks.

[Tiger1962]

Some may not agree with me and to each his own, but I am proud of your daughter too !!!

Sometimes cocky bullies need to be given a taste of their own medicine. Even if means being disqualified.

[joesteph]

I agree that Kinzie's gloating was wrong and to answer your statement as a parent my daughter has been disciplined (not allowed to compete for 90days). . . .

My Sensei has been punished as well (not allowed to "coach" the kids at tourney),not because of what he said to her, but for what he didnt do(he could have protested the call, or more importantly should have pulled her from the match). . . .

You're standing by principles you believe in, principles you want to instill in your daughter. This is the mark of a good parent.

I asked her why she got so mad and was told "daddy they let him hit me in the face, and then he smiled and said "get up so I can do it again", that is what made me mad!" . . . Now that does not excuse her behavior, and we discussed control, but I do understand why she did it. . . .

You're very lucky your daughter is respectful of your feelings and talks with you about her actions. There are parents who are at odds with their children, parents who wish their children would explain to them, confide in them, as Kinzie did with you.

I made an offical complaint to the director of the tourney (not about my daughter's Dq, but about not enforcing the rules equally), and admonished my Sensei for putting both children in danger! . . .

You were angry but, as an adult, knew the right way of doing things. Your daughter doesn't have the same experience in life as you do, and she was now able to witness you putting your beliefs in the system into practice. You role-modeled in the right way.

Oh by the way, Kinzie said that she did not mean to hit him so hard with the backfist, and I think that she was just trying to knock him down.

I think not only do we all believe her, but realize that she had to make an instant decision as to how to deal with this bully. It's not always easy to know what to do, and sometimes in dealing with such a situation, "things happen" that we hadn't intended. But she was not the instigator here, and that's important.

Thanks for sharing this with us, USCMAAI.

[bushido_man96]

Update: The youngman in the story was just placed on probation for assaulting a girl he was dating. I guess he must have felt that she deserved it. My daughter no longer competes in touneys, she trains for the love of training and for self-defense. I havent seen her lose control of her self since this incident. It was a good learning experience for all of us. I really appreciate everyones comments, even those of you who were critical..gave me somethings to think about. thanks.

Thanks for getting back with us on this. It sounds like that young man has some serious control issues, if you ask me. I'm not so sure you daughter really "lost control." I think she accomplished exactly what she wanted to. She may not have taken the high road, but we can't always do so, either (at least, in my opinion).

I think that joesteph made some good points as well. Kudos to you, USCMAAI!

[tori]

I read your initial post and laughed out loud. She sounds alot like me at that age. I did the same thing at a tournament when I was 13. A boy I was fighting, (my same age) kept making hits that by rules, should not be allowed: kicking low, contact to head, excessive contact... None of the judges stopped it. I wouldn't have minded it, but they were not allowing these same hits in previous matches. Difference, this was 20 something years ago and I was the only girl in the whole group. So I decided to take it upon myself and show them that I wasn't going to be bullied by this little kid or by them. I had a place in Martial Arts and it was established that day. When he came rushing in, I did a step through side kick in the chest that lifted him and knocked him to the edge of the ring. I went over and helped him up, bowed to him and then I got disqualified. I was proud of myself. That kid came over later and apologized and then he said, great kick! I apologized to him too.

[Chikara]

Right on! I would have done the same thing were I in her shoes. That boy had it coming. He needed to be taught not to do that again and who better than a little girl? I agree, she didn't lose control at all. That boy is clearly the problem here, not your daughter. That, in my book, was self defense from possibly getting seriously hurt by him. BTW, did his dojo kick him out? Stupid question, the sensei applauded the boy for hitting her.

[joesteph]

I realize the case presented is between a boy and a girl, and in martial arts, but I learned as a teacher of girl-girl bullying in a high school basketball game.

The girls wear ponytails when on court, and when the referee wasn't looking, a member of the opposing team grabbed (from behind) the ponytail of a girl from my school's team, pulling her backwards to the floor. The ref didn't see, so no penalty was incurred; not exactly justice in action.

The girl from my school got behind the aggressor during the game and, with the referee looking, yanked on the other's ponytail, sending her backwards to the floor. Of course, being caught meant being thrown out of the game (I don't remember if she couldn't play in the next game or next two games as well), but I had to hand it to her; there was no one to appeal to, and so she handled the situation on the "primitive" level her opponent (and perhaps others on her opponent's team) understood.

[Chikara]

People usually get what's coming to them, legal or not. The 3-fold law, what you do comes back to you x3. Something to be careful of, especially for martial artists (and hockey players! ).

[tori]

It is better for girls to learn to stick up for themselves early in life, because reality is... this is still a man's world, and she isn't always going to have a dad or a big brother there to stick up for her. Don't get me wrong, women have made strides in the past years, but they had to fight there way there. I by no means am a feminist. I am just happy when a little girl takes it upon herself to not be bullied by anyone. I apologize to any man on here that may take offense to anything I have said. Just as a women does not know what it is like to be a man, a man has no idea at times how hard it is to be a woman.