I hope you have children just like you!

[USCMAAI]

" I hope you have children just like you"

This statement is one that many of us hear from our parents (and for me my Sensei) when we were growing up. Well folks the curse works! Here is my story.

This weekend my daughter showed some of my "old" mannerisms at a local touney. She was sparring in green belt division (mixed sexes ages 12-14). She was up against a young man who was just a bit bigger than she was. The young man launched a backfist at her and it landed right in her face, knocking her down! Now Kinzie(my baby girl) is rather famous/infamous for her temper, and my first instincts were to rush over and pull her out of the match (you should always follow your first instincts). Well, my Sensei(dressed in civies) was over watching her fight(kids call him grandpa), and when the ref didn't give the young man a penalty or warning, I saw him (my Sensei) bend down and say something to her. She got up and assumed her fighting stance. The little boy shook his head and with a smug smile got ready. He again launched a backfist, but this time he was greeted with a well timmed and well placed side kick to the ribs. She picked him up off of his base with that kick, and then followed through with backfist of her own, right to the boys face! Blood flowing, the little boy on the ground at her feet (crying and gasping for air).Of course she was disqualified (and rightfully so). What made it so bad, was that while the poor little kid was laying there my daughter said in a rather loud voice

"Your skills have been tested, your heart has been measured and you have been found lacking."

That is exactly what she said, she then turned bowed to the center ref and proudly walked of the mat. Of course I was completely stunned. I honestly don't talk that way (well not anymore...I was rather "confident" as a young man). I have know idea where she gets this stuff. My Sensei just smiled at me when I went over to question him (I always think he is up to something, and he never treated me so gently as he does my children). He told me that he had ask her what she did wrong, and then told her to fix it. He swears that he did not tell her what to do or what to say. When I asked him why he let her continue to fight when he should have recognized the "Kinzie warning signs", he stated "being dq'd was good for her, and being brought down a peg or two was good for him". Seeing the clouds of anger on my face, he smiled and said "finally you have a student, that is just like you....enjoy!" then the old man walked over to my daughter put his arm around her and took her for ice cream. I love my daughter and I love my Sensei, but you might be seeing my face and story on America's Most Wanted.

My daughter's quote is from some movie called a Knights tale. Has anyone seen it, and should a 13 yr old be watching it?

[bushido_man96]

I thought I recognized that quote. The last part is "...and you have been found wanting," I think. But that is besides the point.

This is a crazy situation. I am not sure what I would do with this. She showed that she can't be bullied, which is good. However, it doesn't sound as though it was in the spirit of the competition, which is bad. What I don't understand is if the Sensei felt that being DQ'd was good for her, then why did he reward her for it?

I wish you luck in dealing with this, USCMAAI. Perhaps if you sit down with your daughter and talk about the whole situation, then you can both help each other out.

Either way, it sounds like your Sensei was really messing with you pretty good. He must see a whole lot of you in your daughter. Which, is probably good.

[DWx]

My daughter's quote is from some movie called a Knights tale. Has anyone seen it, and should a 13 yr old be watching it?

Awesome film! And it has Heath Ledger

Perfectly fine for a 13 yr old IMO, my lil' sis watches it and she's 12.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Knight%27s_Tale

I think that your Sensei is right in that your daughter needed to know what it felt like to be DQed and that the boy needed to know that he couldn't hit without getting hit back. Maybe talk to her though like Bushidoman said and make sure that getting DQed doesn't become a habit. Hopefully she can see that it wasn't nescessarily right for her to do what she did but one can only learn from their mistakes.

[Kieran-Lilith]

Lol. Yeah, I've seen most of that movie, if I remember right, it's good. Kinda cute, I think. I might have fallen asleep...anyways, while what she did was probably not the best competition spirit, I've gotta say I like her style, there. As long as she doesn't make it a habit, I think it's funny.

[Sensei Rick]

If you're thru with her, I have several friends and myself we wanna adopt her right away!! (j/k)

She needs to be brought down a few notches, a good booty whippin is in order. Someone that is her age and can pace a fight would be great, but probably in short supply. My biggest fear is that left unchecked, she will get herself into trouble on the one occasion she is outmatched. I have no easy answer. You have your hands full with this one, but I love her quote!

[lordtariel]

While amusing, I do think the comment was a little over the top.

[The BB of C]

Your daughter is officially the coolest person I've ever heard of in my nearly 17-years of living...next to Jackie Chan

I believe she did the right thing. She stood up to a bully and did what she had to. I'll bet you that kid will think twice about underestimating his next female opponent.

[cathal]

I'd take it as a life lesson opportunity. Being disqualified was good, because it will spark discussion about what happened. She'll be a better competitor and martial artist for it.

I can't help but laugh though. I know it's a serious situation and as a parent you gotta put your game face on...but whoooo that's a great story to tell!

[USCMAAI]

Everyone has such intresting reactions to this post. I agree that Kinzie's gloating was wrong and to answer your statement as a parent my daughter has been disciplined (not allowed to compete for 90days). The punishment is not to curb her fighting spirit (I agree that, should she be accosted by a boy/girl/man/woman I want her to deal with it quickly and with what ever means that ensures her survival),but because of her attitude. My Sensei has been punished as well (not allowed to "coach" the kids at tourney),not because of what he said to her, but for what he didnt do(he could have protested the call, or more importantly should have pulled her from the match).As for the rules:backfist were allowed, face contact wasn't for under black belt. We train face and head contact in the dojo, and so she knows it can happen. I asked her why she got so mad and was told "daddy they let him hit me in the face, and then he smiled and said "get up so I can do it again", that is what made me mad!" I did not hear this statement by the boy, but Doc (my Sensei) said he did. Now that does not excuse her behavior, and we discussed control, but I do understand why she did it. Kinzie and I are very much alike in temper, and I think that although I will enforce her ban form competition, I won't be trying to put out that "fire" in her. She and I have been discussing the difference in training for defense and training for competition and she has come to the point that she would rather train for defense. As a father I was proud of my daughter for getting up and showing no fear. As an instructor I was embarrassed that she showed lack of control, I was also disappointed in the officiating and in my sensei's cavalier approach (He is a good man, and actually thought the little boy was being encouraged to break the rules, therefore needed a lesson). I made an offical complaint to the director of the tourney (not about my daughter's Dq, but about not enforcing the rules equally), and admonished my Sensei for putting both children in danger! If they were adults sparring and this happened fine, but you don't let kids get out of control like that. He agreed and took his punishment well (He really enjoys watching the "grand kids" train and compete). He also spent time with Kinzie and talked about why "daddy" was so upset at both of them. I don't know exactly what was said, but she informed me that she was sorry and she wanted to visit the other boys dojo and apologize to him as well (when I was her age, an apology would have never occured to me). Overall I think she learned a valuable lesson about controlling her temper, one I hope will help her throughout her life.

Oh by the way, Kinzie said that she did not mean to hit him so hard with the backfist, and I think that she was just trying to knock him down.

[USCMAAI]

If you're thru with her, I have several friends and myself we wanna adopt her right away!! (j/k)

She needs to be brought down a few notches, a good booty whippin is in order. Someone that is her age and can pace a fight would be great, but probably in short supply. My biggest fear is that left unchecked, she will get herself into trouble on the one occasion she is outmatched. I have no easy answer. You have your hands full with this one, but I love her quote!

Rick: While I am not opposed to "booty whippins" in general, I don't feel that in this instance that is called for. I have two sisters and know how difficult it is for girls to balance being a woman and being assertive. I would rather my daughters (I have two) be able and willing to confront a man who is trying to physically dominate them. As I said in an earlier post she has been consequented for her lack of control, but I will never teach her to be submissive. God help the man who thinks that my daugthers will just be a "punching bag" be it physically or emotionally.