I... have a problem :(

[DisgruntledGirl]

I love my Sensei (no, not in "that" way). I find him to be an absolutely brilliant instructor. I find his teaching methodology to be top notch. He is good at showing you what the technique is supposed to look like, letting you do it a number of times to see if you will figure out on your own what you are doing wrong at first ('cus as a beginner you will almost never do it right the first couple (dozens/ hundreds of ) times and after you discover some things on your own he then refines them. This is only one reason why I like him. His personality is exactly what I would want in a teacher (firm... though quite often funny) and once class is over I feel remarkably comfortable talking to him. You are never made to feel "stupid" for not "getting it" and he is very encourageing when your confidence starts to falter. I find he takes the "art" very seriously and genuinely wants you to get it right, but he does not take himself too seriously, which I find to be great.

So anyway, here is the problem: He is a brilliant instructor right? But he is almost never there (Ok so I'm exagerating but he misses a rediculous amount of classes IMO). He is the only "Karate" instructor at the school (it is his school) but there is another Judo/Tai Chi Sensei who primarily runs the office type duties untill the school is prepared to let her start teaching there as well (though she has taught some of us Karate students a little bit of Judo (I find that I actually *hate* judo (just isnt for me, nothing "wrong" with iti, just isnt for me) though find it very good for me to learn what little bit she teaches from time to time) and a tiny bit of tai chi (which I outright suck at) on occation when the Sensei was (once again) missing a class). BTW when I say he misses a lot of classes... that usually means that class is outright cancelled because of it, not always but often, so I drive there for absolutely nothing a lot of the times.

I was going to tell him of my frustration when I went to class tonight... but guess what? That's right, he wasnt there! At no point had I really started contemplating quitting untill tonight just because it was kinda like the last straw (boy am I glad I didnt pay for a year... though have a little less than two months left on what I have already paid for). I *know* that I intend on going to all of the classes offered untill my current (3 month) contract is up... but after that, I'm not sure what I intend to do.

I *want* to study under him! I like him as a person and as a teacher (when he teaches) but I am just starting to feel finacially cheated and taken advantage of!!! I *could* always just take a different Karate class somewhere else (at less than half the price I might add!!!) but it is no where near in as conveniant a location and I just seriously doubt that I would like another teacher as much s I like my current Sensei (have had the opportunity of being "taught" by two different Senseis in his absence and I found that they couldnt even compare... though Ii'm sure someone could... its just not likely in my limited pool to select from.

I do NOT *want* to quit. I am so surprized at how much I actually like karate itself and most of that is to do with him... but...

What would yall do?

Edited June 9, 2007 by DisgruntledGirl

[isshinryu5toforever]

Approach your instructor respectfully after a class when he is there and discuss your concerns. He should definitely know when his students are upset, and why. He may have very good reasons for being gone quite often. Perhaps you caught him at a rough time during life. Family may be of a concern, or something else. His own health may not be as good. You never know a person's circumstances, and life happens to everyone. So, try to sit down with him personally and discuss your concerns.

[DisgruntledGirl]

Approach your instructor respectfully after a class when he is there and discuss your concerns.

yes I do intend on doing this... had intended on doing it tonight... had actually intended on doing it Wednesday (the first and only class he was at this week) but his daughter was hanging around too much and I didnt want to say anything "bad" to or about him within earshot of his daughter so I let it be.

His reasons for missing classes are many. Twice he has apparently had car trouble, often it is because his daughter got sick real suddenly, she apparently has very bad asthma (so I cant fault him for those times). Last week I think he was assisting in a Seminar in the States (I am not in the USA) so in times like that I think he could just at the very least tell us before he goes so we at least might be prepared for a missed class. Ther are many other "reasons" I have been given and often I feel them to be legit though avoidable if you *really* wanted to (guess he doesnt).

He keeps in all honesty a rediculous schedule... I dont think I could deal with the kind of working schedule that he has without feeling overworked (which I'm sure he is, though never lets it show when he is there).

I guess what it boils down to is that I can "understand" that he is going to miss a few classes, I really can... especially when he is the *only* teacher... I just mainly wished that I could be kept in the loop more the times that he *knows* that he is not going to be there. Heck send out an e-mail at 4:00pm the very day that you are going to miss class... I'll check before I leave work or something. I just want some warning to not bother wasting my time/gas to get there for nothing. Also its the expence of the classes... he is EXTREMELY expensive... but also extremely worth it if he actually came from time to time.

Dont mind me.. I'm mainly just venting.

[bushido_man96]

I would be upset if I were you as well.

Despite the fact that he is a good teacher...if he isn't there, you can't learn from him. As far as the contract goes, I would start talking about getting some of that money back. The idea behind the contract is that he is offering you a service. He is not making good on it, and you should not have to pay him to cancel his classes on you like that.

Life may be busy for him right now, but he should still be professional. He is not doing this. If I were you, I think I would look somewhere else.

[DisgruntledGirl]

I would start talking about getting some of that money back. The idea behind the contract is that he is offering you a service. He is not making good on it, and you should not have to pay him to cancel his classes on you like that.

I would concider doing this if I 100% knew that I wanted out. I do not know for sure that I want to outright quit yet. Also I do not know how he would react to something like that but I do not want to start a confrontation with the man if I might want to come back later if he gets his act together. I think it all depends on how my "conversation" with him goes. If he gives me enough of a good vibe after talking with him about how frustrated I am I might even concider hinting to him to give me/us a discount for the next training period "contract" but that is an issue I will not push. I will tell you this much though, no more three month "contracts" for me. I will only be paying monthly now so that if it continues or if he starts again I can just take a month or two off, see if he gets his act together and then possibly come back.

Typically when he would miss a class (whether class was canceled or even if there "technically" was a class but he just wasnt there) I tried to "take it on the chin" and wouldnt react too much at all. Last night was my first time actually reacting. I told the other Sensei quite openly of my frustration and she seemed to understand where I was coming from and felt bad for me (I am the most "dedicated" adult student they have right now... not that I'm any good mind you, I just show up to *every* class they have scheduled for the adults since I started a little less than 5 months ago which noone else can say they have). Maybe she will relay this to him somewhat, I dunno.

If I were you, I think I would look somewhere else.

I have concidered this option, but the other place I was thinking about, the time class starts gives me very little leeway if I have to stay a few minutes after 5:00 at work. Pluss the fact that I really should eat something substantial before going to class (I'm diabetic) to safely maintain a certain blood sugar level throughout class... though I'm sure something like a protein shake could probably acheive this as well.

Then there is also the fact that I do not want to be always compairing the new teacher's methods to my old teacher's methods which I truely liked... not sure it would be fair to him, though there is of course no certainty that this would happen.

The decision would be so much easier if I didnt like my current teachers teaching methods

[ninjanurse]

Bushido man is right. Professionalism is a must when running a karate school. Your instructor is not fulfilling the service you are paying for nor is he being a good role model-another quality of a good instructor. You should check out the other school and look at the positive comparisons, not the negative-such as being there to teach class... .

[bushido_man96]

Then there is also the fact that I do not want to be always compairing the new teacher's methods to my old teacher's methods which I truely liked... not sure it would be fair to him, though there is of course no certainty that this would happen.

The decision would be so much easier if I didnt like my current teachers teaching methods

We always have favorites, as people. Think about teachers in school...you have many, but always have a favorite. Don't worry about comparing the two. If that is the case, you may never find another school to train at.

Besides that, if the other instructor is willing to show up every day to teach, then he is one-up on your current instructor already.

You should not worry too much about what your instructor is going to think of you if you leave. After all, it is his problem if he can't keep you because he can't maintain a schedule.

[DisgruntledGirl]

We always have favorites, as people. Think about teachers in school...you have many, but always have a favorite. Don't worry about comparing the two. If that is the case, you may never find another school to train at.

True true. We all have had teachers in school that we loved, some we liked well enough and some we outright hated... I guess as long as any teacher I found, personality wise, I didnt hate I spose that would be better than what I'm dealing with now.

Besides that, if the other instructor is willing to show up every day to teach, then he is one-up on your current instructor already.

Yeah, I s'pose so.

You should not worry too much about what your instructor is going to think of you if you leave.

Thats actually not the biggest concern of mine. If I am mad enough to quit, he *will* know the reasons and I will not be upset about what he thinks of me, that was never really the problem. It was just the timing of the other class and the feeling that I might "miss" my old school.

In any event, some people just need to be litterally told that what they are doing is not appropriate and I have not done that yet. It all boils down to how he reacts and how things go *after* I talk to him. Will keep you posted on what happens after I get a chance to talk to him.

Thanks for the space to rant.

[AikiGuy]

Wow, that's a tough spot to be in. It is quite reasonable if you decide to leave since, as others have said, you are not getting what you paid for. But still, it gives you the problem of finding something else that is equally convenient and fulfilling.

If you are wrestling with the decision to leave, I suggest this final attempt to salvage the situation you already have before moving on. Talk to some of the senior students or other instructors there and see if they know what is going on. If this is only a temporary situation for your sensei, you should know. Perhaps then it will be worth waiting a short time to see if it gets better. Then again, you may find that this happens all the time and has for years. If that is the case, the frustration you feel after only a few months will only increase after say a year or so and you will absolutely hate it! Then if you leave, you can do so without guilt since you really tried to understand the whole situation and give a fair chance to work out. Either way, having this question answered may serve as a tie-breaker in your decision to stay or leave.

[DisgruntledGirl]

Update (Looooong read, read only if you are truely bored):

Finally got to talk to my Sensei. I think it went pretty well on the whole. He was mildly defensive on some points, but I think that it would be odd if he wasnt at all, but he wasnt overly defensive which would have convinced me of a bigger problem.

He was calm, I was calm. We both hashed it out a bit in that there were at least two times that he missed that there was a misunderstanding on the part of the people who were supposed to be teaching us in that they thought they only had to teach the kids and other things that may have been more "missunderstandings" on both mine and the other Sensei's part as to whether class should be held with just little ol' me at times when "my" Sensei was not there etc etc (in that I think I may have "felt" as though I was being turned away and she may have "felt" that I wouldnt find it worthwhile with noone else there... who really knows though).

There were some things that we couldnt come to an outright agreement on in that I felt as though I was turned away a lot more than he thought I possibly could have been. But there was no way to prove either of our cases.

I did tell him that I felt as though it was a lot of money to be spending on something I wasnt getting etc and he told me that he tries to always leave someone competant when he is not there (usually the judo Sensei) and I explained to him "but thats still not Karate!" and he said "well I myself "borrow" from other disciplines, but the Karate is of course what I stress and is of course all you are tested on, there is nothing wrong from learning something from something outside of Karate itself though!"... which is of course true and I think is a good thing... but meh, it just doesnt feel as "planned" as I guess it should. He also said that he really could/should be charging a lot more and I said that there are places that charge less than half of what he does... but then we both laughed and agreed that that doesnt really mean anything.

I told him that I really didnt want to quit but I didnt know if I had much of an option and he oddly enough said that if I felt the need that I could maybe take a month and try somewhere else to see if they would suit me better... to which I explained that that was really not what I wanted or was looking for (and then I stroked his ego a bit by telling him that I really do like learning from him), and if I quit there I'd prolly just end up sitting on my rear and do nothing to which he laughed and said "well no, that would not be good!"

In the end though he did state that it has really been just a busy busy time for him and that it was not *always* this way, he has apparently fairly recently had a baby (I actually did not know about this) and other things that often times cannot be avoided (though some can IMO)... which is really all I wanted to hear for now... that this was not a constant. Only way I'll know for sure it to wait it out a bit more.

It was a good talk though. A lot of give and take and noone getting angry but just explaining both of our sides to each other and both of us "understanding" the other's side... but just thinking that our own side was more right We also talked about other things other than just what I was "complaining" about which made me feel better that it wasnt *just* a whine session (I'd rather not be the 'dreaded' student either).

By the end of the conversation though... I had not asked for it, and feel almost guilty about it... but he did offer for one month to be added to my "contract" just to make me feel like I was at least getting more than the number of classes I had paid for if I truely felt that I may have been "cheated". Even though I mentioned in here about suggesting a reduction in my next payment when it got down to it I didnt think that something fair to "ask" for and I still dont feel good about actually getting it (especially a whole month) even though I didnt actually "ask" for it for some reason. Meh, maybe I'm just a big ol' softy at heart.

In the end though I think you can see that he is probably not as bad as I may have made him out to seem and in some cases some might say that he actually *is* by what I have typed here (or maybe I have lowered yalls oppinion on myself instead? ) but I think though I know the intent of what was said by the both of us, sometimes in type it may not come across.