Keeping my son interested

[Takusankage Soke]

The question that you must ask yourself is "does this make my son happy". The most important thing for you to do is let your son choose for himself. Sooner or later he might realize that Martial Arts is the correct path for him.

[jaymac]

I agree with most on this. I wouldn't force him to do something he doesnt enjoy. Later on, he may realize that he liked it and want to come back to it, but he won't if he is made to feel guilty about leaving. I don't believe that a year of your money was wastefully invested. I bet he learned some great things while taking classes. As for you, keep up the good work on your journey to black belt and beyond.

[ninjanurse]

There is way too much emphasis these days on making sure everyone is happy! Sometimes we have to do things because we made a comittment and it is our responsibility to follow through. Kids need to learn this and parents need to be consistent! I agree that it is unfortunate to turn a kid off to the marital arts by forcing the issue but you also don't want to set a precident of quitting before the job is done. Also, kids (and some adults) do not know how to self-motivate and need others to teach them.

Rant over.

[bushido_man96]

That is a very good point, Heidi, and I couldn't agree with you more. When I was in the 8th grade, I tried out for wrestling. Long story short, I hated, wasn't good at it, and wanted to quit. However, my dad wouldn't let me quit, and we had a long talk about how "you've got to keep plugging away." To this day, I thank my dad for that talk, and for making me follow though.

[jaymac]

I agree to a point about being persistant and not giving up, but if he really doesnt enjoy it, then why force him - just because he is a kid and should do what he is told? I don't think kids should give up easily, but have you guys ever worked with a student who really does not want to be in class and really does not like it. I have and I know you have too. No matter what I did, I could not get that kid motivated to want to love Karate the way I did. He loved soccer. His dad loved Karate. I didnt feel I was wasting my time on this kid, but he wasn't his dad. He did not want to be there or to earn his black belt. Well today his dad is a Shodan, and I read his name in the paper all the time for being an outstanding soccer player for his high school. In fact, he just got a scholarship to play in college.

[NY_Karatedork]

I think you should sit him down and ask him what interests him, maybe Karate sounded like fun but he found it didn't hold his interest, you should encourage him to pursue what ever he truly likes.

[ipscshooter]

I'm facing a similar problem now. My son started TKD lessons with me when he was 6. He worked at it harder than anyone in the school and was offered the opportunity to take his black belt exam when he was a month short of his tenth birthday. He failed based on his inability to perform one of the required breaks. But, he persevered and took the test again, nine months later, and passed. Shortly thereafter, he started middle school at a school that offered the Chuck Norris Kick-Start program. The instructor teaches Tang Soo Do kata and Chun Kuk Do (Chuck Norris' style) defenses and sparring. My son started over as a white belt, and has been required, since it's a public school program, to advance at a lock-step rate with the other kids. His prior experience made him a good demonstrator/assistant to the instructor, but he was not allowed to advance based on ability/mastery of the material. They have two tests per year and that's it. He's now been in the program for 3 years, and is about to test for red belt, but says that, after this he doesn't really want to do it any more. The school offers (FREE!) the opportunity to continue attending red/black and black belt classes after school while he's in high school and beyond. He says he's bored and getting tired of it after 8 1/2 years of lessons almost every day.

I'd really like to find a way to keep him interested because (a) he's really good at it, (b) the high school he's going to doesn't offer much in the way of extra-curricular activities), © he's got an opportunity with only another year or two of lessons to test for 3 separate black belts - KickStart, Tang Soo Do, and Chun Kuk Do; and (4) JUST HOW COOL WOULD IT BE TO HAVE A BLACK BELT CERTIFICATE SIGNED BY MASTER NORRIS...

I really don't want to force him to go. I've tried arguing that it would be a good addition to his College Admissions Applications to show that he is dedicated, persistent, etc. But, I don't think he's buying into that. I've tried explaining how important it is to maintain a decent physical fitness regimen and that martial arts is a great work-out. Don't think he's buying that one either. At this point I'm left with "Hey, there are some really cute girls in the class..." That one maybe has his attention a little... I'm hoping that maybe if he takes some time off he'll miss it and want to go back. But, I'm afraid he'll just get himself addicted to playing "World of Warcraft" on the interenet...

[bushido_man96]

I'm hoping that maybe if he takes some time off he'll miss it and want to go back...

I think that this is your best idea. Don't force him, because then he really won't want to do it. It has to be something that he wants, not something that you want for him, or through him. If he loves it and misses it, he will go back.

Who knows? There have been several people on this forum that have said that they did MA as a child, and then just recently got back into it, years later. The seeds are still planted. In time, they may grow more.

[marie curie]

Taking some time off and returning under my own terms was good for my training as a kid- but I took years off. I had to find MA again for myself. Not everyone's path- but it's just what worked for me.

[ipscshooter]

I'm hoping that maybe if he takes some time off he'll miss it and want to go back...

I think that this is your best idea. Don't force him, because then he really won't want to do it. It has to be something that he wants, not something that you want for him, or through him. If he loves it and misses it, he will go back.

Well... Looks like that's the only choice at this point.

He passed his red belt test yesterday. It was his final exam as a middle school student. He has had to take the lessons for the last three years, as he signed up for the martial arts lessons in lieu of taking P.E. class. So, continuing lessons toward black belt would be voluntary and on his time, rather than during school. He promptly informed me that he doesn't want to do it anymore. So, I guess, I'll just have to wait for him to decide he wants to go back to it at some point in the future.