Keeping my son interested

[TigerDude]

My son (11 y.o.) & I started Goju Ryu in January 2006. We took 8 weeks off in April/May & now he says he's not interested in going back. These are classes we attended together. He failed a testing for for 6th kyu in April (that I passed) but he says it's not part of the reason. He would pass this grading easily because he understands the requirements now. He says it's boring & he doesn't like getting hit. He has no problems generally, though, with rough play & takes (& gives) shots from me quite well.

I'm a bit disappointed, because this has been great for getting me (& him) in shape, and I love learning new things. I also hate losing a year-plus investment, since we seemed to be on track for brown belt in another 12 months (3 brown belt ranks in our school).

Any recommendations? Thanks.

[mantis.style]

I say: Don't push it. You don't need him there to do it yourself and well, the kid's only 11. Give him a little time to find some things for himself. You never know; whatever path he chooses might lead back to karate.

[marie curie]

Have you told him that you liked doing it because you liked spending that time with him? If it's something he's now only moderately interested in and doesn't want you wasting your time he might change his mind when he knows that you just like the experience with him.

Also, when you put money into something like that, he has to understand that it is a commitment. Possibly you could request that he just gets though his next grading before he quits so that he wouldn't have wasted the time since his last test. He may get back into it and remember why he liked it in the first place.

[BlahuKahuna]

The last two posters have made great points, I would definitely try those. When I was younger, something that always made me want to go back to class was watching a good martial arts flick. Dunno if that'll help you though.

[marie curie]

Good call- or maybe some UFC fights that you have watched and deem appropriate.

[bushido_man96]

That is a tough situation. I have the same problem with getting my brother interested as well. In the end, if he is not going to enjoy it, then it isn't worth pursuing. As for yourself, I would continue, since you enjoy it.

You may suggest that he try it again, if only for a few months, and then give him the opportunity to make a decision to stay or go.

[IcemanSK]

I wouldn't push it with him. In my experience, that age (11-14) is when boys tend to stop one thing & pick up something else. It tends to be a "take stock" kind of time for a lot of boys to see what they really like. A friend of mine said of his 12 year old son, "I want to make sure he gets all his Eagle Scout requirements done while he stills loves it & before he discovers girls."

Maybe find the parts of MA that he likes & encourage that. Or try to get him to help you with your training. That may spark him again. It may work. However, he may feel that it's just not for him at this point in his life.

[GojuGal]

Honestly, my best advice would be to not try to force him to be interested in martial arts, regardless of the fact that you started this together. Rather than working at getting him interested in this again, find out what it is that he would rather be doing and encourage that. Martial arts isn't for everyone and it's quite possible that he truly doesn't enjoy it. It's sad that this is something you were doing together and bonding over, and now he's just not interested but that is our lot as parents.

You should, however, continue in your art if you're still interested in going alone.

[TigerDude]

Good replies. Thanks, folks.

[Kante]

If hes not interested then don't keep trying, because otherwise he might come back just because he doesn't want you to get mad or anything.

Therefor spending a long time doing something he doesn't like.

Now heres the thing, if hes not interested then hes just not. Although there might be some rare cases.

But in my own opinion I think that if you like something (sports and arts wise) it immediately shows and doesn't come out of nowhere. But again there are exceptions.

Just make sure he doesn't waste his time doing something he doesn't like. Propose a list of sports to him and see what hes interested in if you really want him to get started with something.

But again, do NOT let him do something he doesn't like while he could of spent that time doing something he does in fact like.

Talk to him and find out exactly what drives him away from martial arts, maybe he has false info and assumptions.

Hope this helped.