What am I doing wrong this time?

[The BB of C]

Is it just me or do I post a lot of topics asking for advice?

This one is about my parents and I.

Ever since I was in 6th grade I've been writing. I like writing a lot. But then my parents would complain because I would spend a lot of time on the computer writing. They told me for years to get another hobby so that's not all I'm doing is writing on the computer.

Then I got into 7th grade and I got picked on a lot at school. I got back into the martial arts so I could learn how to defend myself against the bullies at school. I have never been too good, but I got good enough to beat down a couple. Then I discovered I liked the martial arts a lot and began practicing along with my writing. Lo-and-behold my parents are complaining again. Alongside with me being on the computer "too much";

All you talk about or do is fight and karate! Fighting and karate! I come home and boxing is on the television. Then you and Dan and Brian are beating each other up...

My older brother, Dan, is into things like boxing, UFC, ASKA, things like that, he's also a very good fighter himself. Before I got into martial arts, we had nothing to talk about. We never really liked each other that much. I was always Nicholas and he was always Dan simply put. Now that I'm into it, him and I have some common ground. And then my little brother, Brian, followed me and him into the martial arts. Before I got into the martial arts, all my brothers and I did was argue and my parents would always get upset because of that.

And all you do is train to go to competitions that are too dangerous for you anyway. You need to find another hobby.

And I'm thinking: GOSH DARN IT WOULD YOU MAKE UP YOUR MIND PLEASE?! HALF THE REASON I GOT BACK INTO KARATE IS SO YOU WOULD STOP NAGGING ME ABOUT MY WRITING!

But it's all you do.

Because it's all there is to do. I live in the middle of nowhere where all of our neighbors hate us and my closest geographical friend, who you won't even let me go see, lives seven miles away.

I don't actually take that kind of disrespectful tone with my parents. But it's what I'm thinking the whole time and it's the message I try to respectfully relay.

I'm wondering what the heck I did wrong this time. They wanted me to get a second hobby because I was doing one of them too much, so I did, and now I'm doing both of them, and apparently it's still too much "wasting time doing nothing." Does anybody know what I might be able to do?

[USCMAAI]

My young friend, look at it from your parents point of view. They may be concerned that you are spending too much time on the computer, because it is an isolated activity. They may also be concerned because there are so many dangerous people online (predators and weirdos) that it is impossible for them to protect you all the time. As far as your training and wanting to fight. This could be a concern as well. No parent wants to raise a bully. Not that you are, but this maybe a concern. Surely you can see how they could see it this way. My suggestion is for you to sit down and explain to your parents how you feel about writting, and that you would like to do this as a profession (assuming you do), and then maybe tell them about the other benifits you receive from your martial arts training other than fighting. As a father of 3 teenagers (who all love the martial arts), and who's son (16) wants to be a writer (and is always on the computer), I understand where your parents are comming from. Try talking to them (not arguing), and maybe they will understand. I assume that they bought your computer and are paying for your martial arts training, so they can't be overly opposed to what you are doing. It may also be a good idea to ease up on all the fight stuff (don't watch it all the time, pass on some of the tourney, etc). Let them see that you are trying to meet them half way. As I said before, your parents are worried about you, and until you are a parent yourself, you will never know true love,concern, fear, saddness, pride, and happiness as you will when you have a child.

[The BB of C]

Thank you, USCMAAI. That post was surprisingly accurate. I'll try to take your advice and see what happens the next time this subject comes up at the dinner table.

[Patrick]

Hello,

We removed a post in error from this thread. It is quoted below Sorry for the confusion. Thanks.

Roundhouse kick your parents. It's the only way.

[lordtariel]

Another way to help with this is to get a notebook and do some of your writing on paper. If they ask you can say you're doing homeword Besides, you can take a notebook outside and enjoy the sun or on a trip which you can't really do unless you have a laptop.

[jaymac]

The notebook idea is great! One thing you can do with your notebook, is let your parents read some of your material. They may not even know how dedicated you are in your writing and even how talented you have become. As for your martial arts, do they come with you and watch your classes? If all they see is "rough housing" at home with your brothers, then they may be getting the wrong idea about what you are learning. Invite them to classes and even a tournament. Maybe they just want to be a part of your life and feel that your isolated time on the computer and time away from the house training is taking you away from them. I bet if they could take part in your hobbies, they would be more open to them and also be able to show you how proud they actually are of you. Good luck.

[The BB of C]

The notebook idea is great! One thing you can do with your notebook, is let your parents read some of your material. They may not even know how dedicated you are in your writing and even how talented you have become. As for your martial arts, do they come with you and watch your classes? If all they see is "rough housing" at home with your brothers, then they may be getting the wrong idea about what you are learning. Invite them to classes and even a tournament. Maybe they just want to be a part of your life and feel that your isolated time on the computer and time away from the house training is taking you away from them. I bet if they could take part in your hobbies, they would be more open to them and also be able to show you how proud they actually are of you. Good luck.

That's an interesting idea as far as the tournaments and classes thing goes. As far as the writing part; my parents would hate my writing.

[BlahuKahuna]

That's an interesting idea as far as the tournaments and classes thing goes. As far as the writing part; my parents would hate my writing.

Why?

[jaymac]

Then just invite them to be part of your Martial Arts training. As for the writing, if it is some kind of Steven King type style, well they may not understand, but when you get your first book published ----> then they will see how serious you are!

[bushido_man96]

My wife kind of gets that way with me when she sees me on the computer. I try to explain that it isn't much different than everyone else sitting around and watching TV. The problem I do notice with being on the computer, is that I zone into it, and everything else fades away...

....ok, I am back now! That could be what your parents see as well. Just try to relate to them in that sense.