Do you ever feel like *you* are *that* kind of student?

[bushido_man96]

I did try to ask what I should do about it and I think he missunderstood me or something and he just told me different ways to strengthen my arms instead of telling me an alternative move, but I just let that one go. Which lead me to believe that I'd probably be a lot better off just kicking the "attacker" in the groin instead (though I chose not to do this to the sensei of course )

This is a good example of what I am talking about. If it were me, I would always try to find some way to distract the attacker who is choking me, before proceeding with a defense (like the groin kick you mention, or a foot stomp, or even a hand to the throat). Instead of offering this advise, he just tells you to strengthen your arms? That doesn't seem like a rational explanation that will help you out.

Now, don't take what I am going to say the wrong way, but it is just a fact (with a very few exceptions...maybe Laila Ali, and some women bodybuilders...): women are usually not going to be able to be as strong as the average man. That is just a fact. That is why women are prey so often. Therefore, it is important to be able to augment what you can do to accord for your ability.

Now, I will give a word of warning. Since you are new to the arts, you may not know what can and cannot work for you yet. Your inexperience will play a role here. At this point, you should try to work through what your instructor is telling you. If it doesn't work for you, and he still points out technical problems you are having, then continue to work on it. However, there comes a point in your training where you will figure out that it isn't working, and it isn't becaue of technical inadequacies. That is where you need to try to make your adjustments.

However, when he states that you should be strengthening your arms, it can be a time of question.

[jaymac]

This is a very good posts, with alot of good advise. In a situation where you are being grabbed by a man, having a distracting manuever like poking the eyes, jab to the hollow of the throat, kick to shin, knee, groin before doing a technique is good to have, being that men are stronger than women. A crazed man grabbing you is even more strong because he has adrenaline rushing. This is in no means to say women are weak, they aren't. But training in class is different than defending yourself in a real situation.

Now for the other. In our school, my instructor does not tolerate anyone talking out in class while he is teaching or talking, no matter what age or gender. I noticed he lets some things slide (slightly) with new students, but once they have caught on to how things are done, watch out. I would say that a day will come for you when he no longer tolerates arguments.

[DisgruntledGirl]

This is a good example of what I am talking about. If it were me, I would always try to find some way to distract the attacker who is choking me, before proceeding with a defense (like the groin kick you mention, or a foot stomp, or even a hand to the throat). Instead of offering this advise, he just tells you to strengthen your arms? That doesn't seem like a rational explanation that will help you out.

Yeah, I think it was just a matter of missunderstanding on this one... I may not have worded my question so clearly during class... y'know cus I was busy rubbing my neck and gasping for air (kidding). Also I dont think "self deffence" was actually his "main" focus (though I'm sure it was one of his goals) for this particular lesson. I do believe he just wanted a good example to practice a very particular basic move on... as it turned out though it just wouldnt be a move that someone my size should use for self deffence IMO.

Now, don't take what I am going to say the wrong way, but it is just a fact (with a very few exceptions...maybe Laila Ali, and some women bodybuilders...): women are usually not going to be able to be as strong as the average man. That is just a fact.

Cant take that the wrong way... it is "usually" true. Sensei did go into this very same lil speach in fact during that very class. I will probably only take it the wrong way if too much focus is put on that lil fact to the point that some think women can't do what they are perfectly capable of... "slightly" weaker or not.

Now, I will give a word of warning. Since you are new to the arts, you may not know what can and cannot work for you yet. Your inexperience will play a role here. At this point, you should try to work through what your instructor is telling you. If it doesn't work for you, and he still points out technical problems you are having, then continue to work on it.

He did show me some technical problems with what I was doing, so its not like I was doing it perfectly fine right off or anything either... and while his hands wernt wrapped around my neck, I agreed to his corrections .... so it very well might still be that I simply wasnt doing it right and even though I "tried" to incorporate his suggestions I may have still just *spazzed out* (for me it seems being joint locked, punched, kicked or thrown to the floor doesnt even compare with being choked) when the moment came... Guess it'll take a while for me to really know.

[DisgruntledGirl]

I would say that a day will come for you when he no longer tolerates arguments.

Oh I'm sure. Its like I'm just now clueing in to what may be "expected" of me.

In our school, my instructor does not tolerate anyone talking out in class while he is teaching or talking.

But correct me if I'm wrong but it seems by your post that your instructor doesnt even allow questions durring the actual class? Is that right or have I just overanalyzed what you said or something?

[obiwansbane]

its most prudent in self defence to NEVER say that you dont think a technique will work...

This can lead to unfortunate circumstances. When an instructor tells you that you should do so-and-so if the opponent does so-and-so, and that is the way you train it, with no questions asked, and then, when the time comes, it doesn't work for you, what happened? Was it because you didn't do it right? Or was it because what works so well for one person doesn't work the same for another?

As an instructor, it is important to be able to work with variations of things with the students, in order for them to find out what works for their particular body type and ability/skill level.

Therefore, it is important for students to ask questions now and again, and they should feel comfortable doing so. Even if it comes out in an arguementative tone (which, hopefully, wouldn't happen often) it should still be addressed.

I know that students can get frustrated at times; I get that way, too. It is all part of the learning process. However, don't forget that their is more than one process to learning.

thats perfectly fine bushido, what i meant was, when you get the one student, who tries it once, cant do it, and then whines about how it will never work in real life. Most defence techniques do, seeing as your attacker picked you cause you looked weak, so he didnt expect you to be able to defend yourself, you have the element of surprise... and that helps in breaking alot of holds by itself.

[bushido_man96]

I understand what you are saying, obiwansbane. The element of surprise is somewhat debateable, because if they attack you first, you might be the one surprised. At any rate, what you say is akin to what I mentioned.

[Norris197]

I daren't argue with my sensei, he's huge. Also he has a tendancy to try nd kick us in the "nether regions" without checking whether or not with have our box in. Luckily, I usually remember to wear mine and even more luckily I remember not to argue with him.

[DisgruntledGirl]

I daren't argue with my sensei, he's huge. Also he has a tendancy to try nd kick us in the "nether regions" without checking whether or not with have our box in. Luckily, I usually remember to wear mine and even more luckily I remember not to argue with him.

yep.. most deffinately in your case you wouldnt wanna argue with that man.

'course... fair or not I'd think *most* senseis would be ever so slightly less apt to try to totally maim a female student the first time or two of her second guessing what she is supposed to be doing.... then again, I'm sure some wouldnt think twice about it either.

In the end though I dont think it was ever made perfectly clear to me when I first started what would be "expected". I think he tends to guage people before he starts "demanding" (wrong word but still basically the same) any kind of respect from them... and really, even though I do intend to "fall in line" so to speak now, I think my respect for him now is actually more genuine than if a feigned level had been forced from the get-go.

Also I have a tendency to be *very* quiet and shy untill I get to know people.... and once I feel comfortable enough I kinda *leap* out of my shell. So because most of my focus in the beginning classes were on basics and kata... I really had to reason to talk at all... but recently the "sparring" stuff has started becoming more frequent I've learned that I'm gonna have to learn to zippit a bit more

Oh and good luck with your child bearing potential

[bushido_man96]

I daren't argue with my sensei, he's huge. Also he has a tendancy to try nd kick us in the "nether regions" without checking whether or not with have our box in. Luckily, I usually remember to wear mine and even more luckily I remember not to argue with him.

I don't think that a sensei or an instructor is someone that should be feared. I know that argueing is not a good thing, but if you want to approach him about something that you question, it should not be something that frightens you.

[vashogun]

It is better that you question things than to have no curiosity, and it is better that you take discipline and keep going than to be discouraged and give up. You sound like an argumentive, but none the less respectful and passionate martial artist. You want to get it right.