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Posted

Well, to each their own I guess. I think it's kind of foolish as well, It's like going through school untill half way through your senior year and deciding to drop out right before you graduate. Maybe they had some kind of issue with the dojo, but if they act the way you say they're acting, maybe it's best that they did leave.

There's no place like 127.0.0.1

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Posted
It could be considered that I quit on the eve of my black belt test. I was a brown belt for four years, attending classes 4 to 6 days a week, and teaching 5 days a week. My instructor kept telling me he'd test me soon, every few months he'd tell me he would test me in a couple months. He told the parents that I was a "black belt who hadn't tested yet". When I decided to compete he made me compete in the black belt devisions. I finally got fed up with waiting and left. I came back when he sold the school to one of the higher ranking students. The higher ranking student believes that the instructors reason was selfishness...I was paying him to teach his classes, once I tested for black belt I would have no more monthly fees. The new school owner tested me a few months after he purchased the school.

Wow, this is kind of a bum situation here. I am surprised that he never tested you, after making mention of it. Its good to see that things worked out for you when you went back. Preservation is the key.

As far as referring to them as black belts, if they had taught kids or white belt classes, they would have been given a white belt with a thin black stripe, sort of a "pre-black belt". This is considered an honor and is recognition for teaching. But Sensei would never have referred to them as BB's "who hadn't tested yet". I agree with you that that would have put me off as well. Glad to hear you finally made it over the hump!

Really, I think that this couple got back what they put into the dojo. And they shouldn't have expected anything else.

This is a good way to look at it, Sohan. Probably a good thing, in the end. Sure, they may move on, and get a black belt elsewhere, but I don't think they will be able to appreciate it as much in the long run (unless they really are that self-centered).

They may end up in a full contact style, or MMA gym, get pummelled a few times, and then quit because they aren't the "big dogs" that they thought they were. Only time will tell.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Sohan, I wonder if there was something else going on here of which you or your sensei are unaware. This seems too weird. I would think they would have thrown down an ultimatum of some kind before they left, if not being tested was their reason. "A different direction" is what teams take who fire coaches.

Only as good as I make myself be, only as bad as I let myself be.


Martial arts are like kinetic chess. Your move.

Posted

Who cares?

It's their choice if they want to stay with you or not. Sounds like that they have some sort of beef with you and if I was in their position I wouldn't want a black belt from a person that I didn't like or respect.

At the end of the day just view it as their loss and move on.

Posted

Sohan,

If they passed they would now represent your dojo as yudansha.

All those newly opened doors that they would pass through they would

be representing the type of people your school accepts as yudansha.

I think it turned out for the best.

Too early in the morning? Get up and train.

Cold and wet outside? Go train.

Tired? Weary of the whole journey and longing just for a moment to stop and rest? Train. ~ Dave Lowry


Why do we fall, sir? So that we may learn how to pick ourselves back up. ~ Alfred Pennyworth

Posted

Well first up it sounds like no big loss!

I don't pretend to know anything about these guys but one other explanation might be 'tanking'. Don't know if the term is widely used or not but in sports psych it means 'deliberately giving up so you can pretend that you could have done it if you'd REALLY tried'.

Maybe deep down, underneath all the bravado, they just didn't think they were good enough, so took the easy option instead of admitting it and training harder!

Just a thought......

Dave

Posted

I've had issues like this come up a few times lately. From high rank students from other schools (how long will they stay?) to the just before BB drop out.

I think the best way to deal with it for yourself as an instructor is to let them go & try to move on as quickly as possible. After all, you have many other eager students to focus on. Life happens. Folks move, get other jobs, leave jobs, find something else, get bored, get scared, get injured....the list goes on & on as to why they'd leave. To spend too much time on wondering why they left, is too much time wasted.

Being a good fighter is One thing. Being a good person is Everything. Kevin "Superkick" McClinton

Posted

I have seen many over the years within our dojo that have "faded" away to never return. Some have quite before black belt....some after. There are many that most assuredly would be my seniors now had they stayed.

My Sensei has always said..your journey doesn't truly begin until you are a shodan.

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