Losing faith in an instructor

[The BB of C]

For a year now I've been going twice a week to my school and I'm beginning to lose faith in it and I'm not sure what I should do next.

It's not at all that I believe I am learning in a "bad style." I don't even believe there is such a thing. But it's my instructor's I have no faith in. They are very hypocritical which is not a trait I respect in anyone and continuously say things to me and the other students in the class that later get absolutely contradicted either by their own words or actions. A few examples follow.

They told me when I started that one could be an individual in the class and move at their rate: Wrong! The instructors are always either hardly pushing me at all or pushing me to the point my chest hurts. Then this is what I hear the most that really gets on my nerves "You're only a yellow belt so you can't do that yet." Mostly for falls. I'm not afraid of jumping in the air and falling on a mat. Training at home with my older brother, to this day there are several instances I am surprised my arm, wrist, legs, and in some cases skull weren't ever cracked in half. I'm fairly confident I can jump and fall on a 2-inch-thick mat in class without hurting myself. Then, the class actually started getting easy for me. I don't know if it's because it's winter in western New York and it's colder and I tend to last longer in the cold or if it's really I'm starting to round off with the class. Either way, I want to know I'm getting a good workout, but they won't let me bring in the wrist and ankle weights so I have to work harder.

They told me that everyone in the class is respected equally reguardless of rank: Also very wrong! I often find myself getting put down and discouraged in class a lot for doing things someone one belt above me could do and nobody would care. The black belts do basically whatever they want.

90% of the upper belts in that class are weaklings: Sorry, this is true, some of you may get on my case for this but it's true. I am a gosh darn yellow belt and if things are really as set in stone with the belts as they are in that class I should not be able to beat half of the black belts in there (like I have on several occasions in sparring despite their rules). We train and I practice my techniques properly to make sure I'm actually doing them right and they "get hurt" when really I could be doing them so much harder they don't even know it and I get lectured and yelled at for being disrespectful. THEY SHOULD BE ABLE TO HANDLE ME! Then they turn around and do their techniques and I get thrown. Sometimes it does actually hurt a little bit but I don't complain once. One time I almost got kicked out of sparring for reflexively grabbing someone's leg when they kicked at me and "torquing it." 30 seconds later I get kicked in the mouth and my mouthguard moved and cut up my gums I bled a bunch. Nothing happened to him, he was a brown belt (and I still won just for the record).

They claim to be a self defense school: They should call themselves and aerobics class because all I get out of there is flexibility and it keeps me in good shape. They do not teach you how to use the techniques in there. Then they tell you sparring is a good place to learn how to apply them. Then you go to sparring and you're so covered in gear you can hardly move and they tell you "no throws, grapples or take downs." What the hell is that?! How am I supposed to learn how to use those weird throws if I can't spar with them? And trust me, those are some weird throws.

All the really good training is only for black belts: Do they think only black belts are capable of handling any training they can give? They do all sorts of things every other rank should learn as well. Weapons, gymnastics, fighting techniques, all of it. One question about that. WHAT ABOUT ALL THE OTHERS WHO NEED TO GET GOOD AS SOON AS POSSIBLE AND DON'T HAVE TIME TO WAIT 4 YEARS TO GET THEIR BLACK BELT BEFORE THEY CAN ACTUALLY LEARN ANYTHING?! And I understand basics, but believe me people the level of "basics" they give at this school is absurd.

Just all those things drive me out of my skull. Normally I wouldn't have a problem with it IF THEY HAD TOLD ME WHAT IT WAS REALLY GOING TO BE LIKE WHEN I JOINED INSTEAD OF FEEDING ME A LOAD OF IT STRAIGHT TO MY FACE WHEN I STARTED! I'm still there only because my father won't let me quit. And I really don't know what I'm supposed to do because I'm getting really sick and tired of all that crap. Anyone have anything that might help me out here?

[Knuckle Dragger]

I understand your pain and experienced many of the same frustrations that you are having. I don't know your age but I assume that you are a juvenile and that is why your father has control over you and remember to always respect your father. Try to find another school that reflects your goals in training as far as the self defence is concerned and show it to your father and perhaps he will let you change schools. If not stay with the class and learn what you can and when you turn 18 you can train in any school you wish. Also I believe that you would enjoy the sporting aspect of the arts because you sound competitive.

[Feathers of Doom]

take a deep breathe and relax. treat others with respect and you will have respect. Train your techniques rather than working out and Practice what your told and you will advance.

your not being treated with disrespect. you're just refusing to learn.

[The BB of C]

Yes I do and will always respect my father. I am 16-years-old. I do have a plan, not to quit this school, but to start mixing it with Wing Chun Kung-fu and possibly (more so hopefully) gymnastics to complete my skills (Kuk Sool Won for basic fighting techniques, gymnastics for strength and advanced exercise as well as being able to do cool flips and stuff, then Wing Chun for much needed speed). The one problem is that my father told me he'd support Kuk Sool Won classes. Everything else I have to provide for myself. So I have to find a job. Coincidentally I'm trying to find work in the worst city in the United States of America to find a job. Litterally. I would also normally have patience for Kuk Sool Won but I'm trying to incorperate my martial arts, my writing, and my acting (all my favorite hobbies) into a career and I got started on it all really late so I need to get as good as possible as soon as possible and Kuk Sool Won alone is not going to be enough especially at this particular school.

[aigaios]

That sucks. I've had some issues with my school about similar stuff in the past...

[bushido_man96]

I would also normally have patience for Kuk Sool Won but I'm trying to incorperate my martial arts, my writing, and my acting (all my favorite hobbies) into a career and I got started on it all really late so I need to get as good as possible as soon as possible and Kuk Sool Won alone is not going to be enough especially at this particular school.

This statement makes it sound like you have an awful lot on the table at once. Honestly, I don't think it would be necessary to study three styles at once right now. I would pick one and stick with it.

As for the problems you have at your current school, I would say if you really don't like it, then try to get out of it. Go check out some other schools, and see what all they do differently. They may do things that reflect the goals that you have. Have you father go with you, so that he can see what you are trying to point out to him, and perhaps he will notice the differences as well.

Best of luck to you!

[KarateEd]

I do have a plan, not to quit this school, but to start mixing it with Wing Chun Kung-fu and possibly (more so hopefully) gymnastics to complete my skills (Kuk Sool Won for basic fighting techniques, gymnastics for strength and advanced exercise as well as being able to do cool flips and stuff, then Wing Chun for much needed speed).

It sounds like you have a good plan, perhaps you're just frustrated with your training because you are not able to get all three aspects with just KSW.

so I need to get as good as possible as soon as possible

I would argue that "getting good" and "soon" are mutually exclusive. In order to "get good" you have to spend a lot of time training not only the body but the mind and spirit, which doesn't leave much room for "soon." If you're wanting to learn a lot of martial arts "tricks" and forgo the mind and spirit training, then it looks like you will need, as you said, to get a job and pursue studying martial art movements in those other areas. It may be tough to work a job, go to school, and study martial arts, but it should pay off in the future. Maybe we'll see you in a movie.

Ed

[The BB of C]

I sure am hoping you will someday Otherwise I'm probably not anywhere good.

Getting back to the topic at hand. I understand fully what you are saying. Though I am pretty sure you knew exactly what I meant by "Get as good as possible as soon as possible." I would like you to know that I do take the martial arts very seriously and I do learn quickly. I just need to be taught. Basically right now we've got a student that can learn very well and wants to taking lessons from a teacher that won't really teach. You were also very correct when you said "Frustrated with the fact that I don't get all three aspects from KSW." I wouldn't be complaining right now if I did lol And even if they did teach all of it there, they do it way too slowly and I'm nto saying that just because I'm really eager to learn. I mean it, you come to my class one time and stay there for a year and see about the pace you move in that class.

[KarateEd]

The BB of C,

As I am learning from this thread and the other KSW thread, you an I approach MA training from two different perspectives. You're probably real athletic, I don't know if I am or not. I like a slower pace than you, though not a plodding one.

As for "[getting] as good as possible as soon as possible" I don't guess I really know what you mean because I don't think we are operating with the same definition of good. My formula (or definition) for "good" in regards to MA contains the element of time. Therefore, I believe "[getting] good" requires time, so that "soon" doesn't really fit into the equation. Anyhow as I said before, we apparently have two different perspectives.

Ed

[The BB of C]

I think we both have two different views on what good is and how to get there. So we'll just nevermind that for now.