Male VS Female sparring matches-PLEASE advise

[Lupin1]

As a girl, my opinion is that this woman probably doesn't really want to learn karate and probably shouldn't be there. Guess what-- shots to the chest are extremely common in martial arts and they're something you need to deal with if you're going to be a martial artist. If she doesn't want to get hit in the chest, maybe she should practice defending against that area a little better so she can stop the guys from hitting her there instead of blaming them for her not being able to block their shots. Probably about half of the wazas we do have people punching right at the chest and so I get guys staring at my chest while they're punching all the time. Big deal. I stare that their chests while I'm punching, why should I expect them to do anything different? It may be different since I'm the only female in our adult program so I'm ALWAYS working with guys and they were all here first so I feel the need to not bring too much attention to the fact that I'm a girl, but I think she's over reacting just a bit and she should just get over it and accept that it's part of the martial arts.

[beagstkd]

I feel that it's not just about women, but everyone I spar I try to spar to their ability. There are several women I will spar full out because they are great martial artists. There are also several men I will go easy with because they just arent very good. Don't get me wrong, I still try to win when sparring a lesser person but whats the point if your partner is nothing more than a punching bag. Everyone is there to train, learn and get better.

As far as hitting a women anywhere different than where you'd hit a man...if they are offended they shouldn't be in class.

[Kushiel]

I know this is a few days old now, but as a girl, I've been punched in the chest plenty, and I've never felt at all uncomfortable or anything. I don't wear a chest protector (to me, that makes it look like a big TARGET to aim for!), but it never occurred to me that guys might feel uncomfortable sparring with me.

No girl in any of my classes has worn a chest protector either, and no one has ever complained when they were hit in the chest (except possibly privately among girls later, that it hurt, lol). In the schools I've been in, this would not have been viewed as your fault, and while I understand the instructor wanting to avoid a lawsuit, I think he could have accomplished that far more effectively by actually talking to you about how to spar with girls in his school.

[Lupin1]

I think he could have accomplished that far more effectively by actually talking to you about how to spar with girls in his school.

I wonder if this instructor used to be in the military... I swear some of these ex-military people just don't understand that in the real world screaming at an adult professional and making him do burpies and stand in horsestance won't solve any problems (and some is bolded so as not to offend any ex-military people here). Adults in the real world talk about things when there's a problem. Sheesh...

[joesteph]

She may have spoiled sparring in that dojo for other females who are there to "mix it up," in that after that episode the males would likely be inclined to shy away from sparring with them, or resort to what I call "token sparring," such as how one might spar with a much younger sparring partner.

[Kushiel]

She may have spoiled sparring in that dojo for other females who are there to "mix it up," in that after that episode the males would likely be inclined to shy away from sparring with them, or resort to what I call "token sparring," such as how one might spar with a much younger sparring partner.

Exactly. Very disappointing. As a martial artist who has also been in the military (and a woman), I consider it important to make sure no abuse/harassment is going on, but otherwise do my best to make it clear that guys don't have to use "kid gloves" with me. In the military and in martial arts, comraderie is important to me, and the OP's situation is the kind of thing that destroys it.

[wildman1717]

Well my response is this:

There are plenty of other guys in the class she can fight if she wants to get the experience - it's just against my upbringing to hit girls

I think that 'hitting girls' and sparring in class don't really fall under the same category. Maliciously striking females is not right, I agree. However, this is hardly what is being done under the supervision of an instructor in a dojo. It is a learning environment, and everyone in the dojo should be subject to the same learning experiences.

I couldn't agree more.

[Soheir]

I feel that it's not just about women, but everyone I spar I try to spar to their ability. There are several women I will spar full out because they are great martial artists. There are also several men I will go easy with because they just arent very good. Don't get me wrong, I still try to win when sparring a lesser person but whats the point if your partner is nothing more than a punching bag. Everyone is there to train, learn and get better.

As far as hitting a women anywhere different than where you'd hit a man...if they are offended they shouldn't be in class.

So... Doesn't that mean that I Shouldn't be polite and try not to kick a guy to his inside Thigh(sorry, I'm not very good at english...) unless I'm actually very sure that I will hit the right place. Now, I could almost agree with you, about the first message anyway..But If we're talking about 90 minutes of sparring (I've never used a chest guard, but I doubt that its totally "proof")It may start getting a little uncomfortable, if every partner you're with doesn't even a little try not to hit you strict to chest??

[beagstkd]

I feel that it's not just about women, but everyone I spar I try to spar to their ability. There are several women I will spar full out because they are great martial artists. There are also several men I will go easy with because they just arent very good. Don't get me wrong, I still try to win when sparring a lesser person but whats the point if your partner is nothing more than a punching bag. Everyone is there to train, learn and get better.

As far as hitting a women anywhere different than where you'd hit a man...if they are offended they shouldn't be in class.

So... Doesn't that mean that I Shouldn't be polite and try not to kick a guy to his inside Thigh(sorry, I'm not very good at english...) unless I'm actually very sure that I will hit the right place. Now, I could almost agree with you, about the first message anyway..But If we're talking about 90 minutes of sparring (I've never used a chest guard, but I doubt that its totally "proof")It may start getting a little uncomfortable, if every partner you're with doesn't even a little try not to hit you strict to chest??

You may have misinterpreted what I was saying. I do not intentionally hit a women in the chest but if it happens they should not be offended. I have been hit in the groin several times while sparring and I am not offended by it...don't like it...but it happens.

Also the chest is a scoring area for point sparring, the groin is not. We occasionally do street sparring and the groin is then a target but I would hope my parnter uses discretion which refers back to what I said about not using your partner as a punching bag.

[Soheir]

I feel that it's not just about women, but everyone I spar I try to spar to their ability. There are several women I will spar full out because they are great martial artists. There are also several men I will go easy with because they just arent very good. Don't get me wrong, I still try to win when sparring a lesser person but whats the point if your partner is nothing more than a punching bag. Everyone is there to train, learn and get better.

As far as hitting a women anywhere different than where you'd hit a man...if they are offended they shouldn't be in class.

So... Doesn't that mean that I Shouldn't be polite and try not to kick a guy to his inside Thigh(sorry, I'm not very good at english...) unless I'm actually very sure that I will hit the right place. Now, I could almost agree with you, about the first message anyway..But If we're talking about 90 minutes of sparring (I've never used a chest guard, but I doubt that its totally "proof")It may start getting a little uncomfortable, if every partner you're with doesn't even a little try not to hit you strict to chest??

You may have misinterpreted what I was saying. I do not intentionally hit a women in the chest but if it happens they should not be offended. I have been hit in the groin several times while sparring and I am not offended by it...don't like it...but it happens.

Also the chest is a scoring area for point sparring, the groin is not. We occasionally do street sparring and the groin is then a target but I would hope my parnter uses discretion which refers back to what I said about not using your partner as a punching bag.

I was refearring more to "As far as hitting a woman anywhere different than where you'd hit a man... if they are offended they souldn't be in class."

And also you prpably don't get kicks to groin many times in two minutes... I know it's not totally the same thing, but for women it happens like five times or more often than it does for men. Thought I can handel that, it still hurts way more than somewhere else.