Male VS Female sparring matches-PLEASE advise

[The BB of C]

how the h**l do you fight a girl? I couldnt! I punched her a few times in the chest during a class match,where everybody watches 2 randomly picked people fight (she was a yellow belt also,but had a chest protector,I used the instructors stuff since mine is coming next week) and she just threw her headgear off and yelled:"stop punching me in private places!!!" ,guess what,I had to do 50 burpies (push-up position,bring feet close while in push up position,jump,repeat) and 10 minutes in "horse stance" on the wall,then I had a good yell-at from the instructor for almost 5 minutes in the bathroom ,trust me,its the scariest thing in your whole life,so yeah,I need some advice on sparring with a female,can someone PLEASE help?

That doesn't seem right at all. Maybe you should have a private chat outside of the school with the girl you were sparring herself, one-on-one and explain what's going on in there during sparring.

[Cormoran]

I just prefer to stay away from women altogether when i train. I find they either complain that i'm going too easy on them, or they complain i'm going to hard.

Personally i think it's like kids and adults, they shouldn't be mixed for the sanity of all involved.

[baronbvp]

If women never spar against men, how are they supposed to learn to fight them for real? I think men need to suck it up and figure it out. The women deserve our best effort.

[bushido_man96]

I do think that it is important for women to spar with men, for the reason that if a woman gets attacked, it will most likely be by a man, rather than a woman. They need to know what they can do against the more physical components of being attacked by a male.

[baronbvp]

Agreed. Though there are some pretty amazing girl v girl fights on YouTube.

[Cormoran]

If women never spar against men, how are they supposed to learn to fight them for real?

Oh i agree, but i think this is what the instructor is for. Not myself.

I grew up seeing all the women in my life get the crud smacked out of them by various men. I'd never hit my mum, i'd never hit my sister, i'd never hit any woman. MY training doesn't require me to hit women.

[obiwansbane]

well firstly, that chick waaaay over reacted... in training, your going to get hit... mistakes happen.. anyways there are waaay too many posts here for me to read them all then reply so im just going to put in my two cents.

dont aim lower, (stomach area) aim higher, head hunt, throw the punch with a kiai then pull the punch before making contact, use crescent kicks to get them scared and backing up then lunge with the punch,

if they are good enough to see through your fake and score on you, they are obviously not stupid enough to make a big deal over being hit sometimes so you dont need to worry to much when fighting them,

but its always the beginners you need to watch out for.. good luck to you i hope all works out in the end

[AikiGuy]

If women never spar against men, how are they supposed to learn to fight them for real?

Oh i agree, but i think this is what the instructor is for. Not myself.

I grew up seeing all the women in my life get the crud smacked out of them by various men. I'd never hit my mum, i'd never hit my sister, i'd never hit any woman. MY training doesn't require me to hit women.

I see your point about not hitting women as long as we are talking about any situation away from the dojo. And believe me, I live the same way too. I've never hit my mother/wife/sister, etc. However, the dojo is somewhere a woman goes when she wants to be involved in defense training. Plus she won't be fighting for real. Even places that have full contact fighting have rules for protection of participants. For example: no groin shots, open-hand strikes, head kicks, counter-joint movement, stikes after a knock-down, etc.

As for your comment about the instructor being there to train women, you are only half right. The entire class is there for that too. As an instructor, I can say that I have benefited from sparring many different kinds of fighters. Big or tall fighters have different advantages than small fighters. A fighter should go against many opponents to be well rounded. If I only fought against my short instructor, I would never learn how to fight tall people, and vice-versa. Also, when I teach sparring, I can coach and correct the fighters better from the sidelines. If I am fighting, I am looking for openings for strikes, so I can't always watch what the other person is doing as well. So I would need another student to spar her while I watch. And if that student doesn't hit for real, I will never know if the woman can block for real. That's a harsh reality, but it's the only way to actually learn. So you are right saying that your training does not require hitting a woman. However, her training does require you to hit her.

I will agree with you completely on one thing. When I fight a beginning women, I hit softer. But only until she becomes proficient. After she knows what to expect and she can actually fight, I fight her aggresively. I would feel bad if I gave her a false sense of proficiency and then heard that she was hurt trying to defend herself using those same moves because she thought she was good at it. She should have the chance to find out what really works for her and what doesn't.

[baronbvp]

Great post, AikiGuy. I'd love to hear what the women think of what you just said.

[bushido_man96]

Great post, AikiGuy. I'd love to hear what the women think of what you just said.

I agree. I think that if we are softer towards the women, we are cheating them out of their self-defense training.