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Ladies of the MA


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Well, I am a girl so here's my two cents. I do realize there are differences but I dont' pay attention to the male/female differences. I see it more as size, weight, speed differences etc.

I see myself as "one of the guys" and just fight. However, some of the guys are uncomfortable with treating a girl as an opponant. Actually, even with things like throws, and wrestling stuff I don't care if a guy accidently touches the wrong spot, I'm too focussed on what I'm doing. In the dojo, I don't distinguish between guys and girls really. One thing that actually annoys me is how when sparring the girls are always paired with girls and in other drills I am often paired with the little kids/younger belts. I understand that I am put with the kids or lower kyus to help them, but I find it is always me who works with 'em. :kaioken: So, in my case, it's not me who's uncomfortable but the people around me who can't ignore the male-female thing in the dojo.

External training without the training of the mind is nothing

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I do think it's a bit harder for guys to deal with things than girls. Women learn that it's ok to rip into a guy if he's attacking you. Most guys are indoctrinated with the "Never hit a girl" mentality and it takes some work to overcome that.

I felt really bad on Wednesday though, I was sparring with one of the girl black belts and we both hook kicked at the same time, she aimed high and I had aimed middle which ended with embarrassing and painful results. She got over it relatively quickly(I managed to pull it enough to avoid real problems) but I was flustered for the whole class despite the fact that she caught me pretty good with a front kick a little earlier and I didn't think anything of it.

There's no place like 127.0.0.1

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Actually I met alot of women who can't stand working with other girls. Some complain there partners don't go as hard or have the size and explosiveness that they are trying to deal with in a male attacker so they prefer males to work out with.

I don't care who I work out with, but like I said some times my mind does get distracted. It happens.

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I've had some varied experiences practicing with girls. It's hard to generalize. I've practiced with some girls who were pretty shy and timid about practicing with a guy, particularly if the practice involved close contact, like in a grappling situation. I've practiced with other girls who are just as aggressive and powerful as guys, also.

There was one time in a JKD class we were practicing an escape from a rear naked choke. I was paired with a girl and she appeared to be ok, but when we were done with that and the instructor told us that our next technique would be practiced from the guard, I could see in this girl's face that she was uncomfortable. My instructor must have seen it too because he came right over and split us up so that she could practice with another girl, which was fine by me because I wouldn't have wanted to make her feel any more uncomfortable and awkward by jumping on top of her and having her legs wrapped around me.

Another time, in a Judo class I was paired with a girl and on that particular day we were focusing on mat work, and we were supposed to end the class with randori, also mat only. I was prepared to go easy on this girl because she was significantly smaller than me. To my surprise, she was extremely aggressive and at one point, her small size turned out to be an advantage because she slipped out of my guard and got a mount and from there wrapped her arms around my head and one of my arms and nearly choked me out. When we started I was very aware of 1) the fact that she smelled better than most of my partners and 2) her breasts pressed up against me when she mounted, but I got over that fast. After that, any time I rolled with her, I knew she wasn't kidding around so I wouldn't hesitate or try and go easy.

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You know, I'm wondering if it's more a distraction to the guys with the gender thing than with a lot of us girls. Most the ladies I know, even the younger girls, don't really care and just go for it. I guess we must develop a "one of the guys" mentality, which would make sense. Otherwise, it could be very difficult to practice.

He who gains a victory over other men is strong; but he who gains a victory over himself is all powerful Lao-tsu

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I think I'm one of the guys also. It does annoy me working with other girls (except for a few that ripped me a new one, a third dan and a 2nd dan I know ;) ). I like to go hard, but I realize that the lower ranks can't and I don't (men and women). I spar how my partner spars. But I like to be challenged ... hard. I don't like to be treated as a woman, but a martial artist. I'm more "robust" than most females, so I perfer sparring men.

Laurie F

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You know, I'm wondering if it's more a distraction to the guys with the gender thing than with a lot of us girls.

I think you have a good point here, and the problem boils down to the thought of harassment. Guys tend be leary about the thought of harrasing a female, so we try to avoid it altogether.

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Unfortunately there is always going to be a "guy/girl" thing no matter where we are, in the dojo, in school, in work setting. It is what it is. That doesnt make it right though. In our dojo, a young woman who is quite good, advanced to being a higher rank in the class. She is respected by all, men, woman, and kids. She doesn't play around. She is aggressive, but not over aggressive like you would see some people be just to prove a point. When she spars, she is quick, but stays back and watches others and counters on their moves. I hear many of the male black belts off to the side trying to give each other pointers on how to spar with her. She is also an effective instructor. In that, I don't see the "she is a girl thing" when it comes to her. She is a respected black belt student.

A great martial artist is one who is humble and respectful of others.

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