Help with Student

[obiwansbane]

i cant remember if u have talked to her about this, but ask about her work, and what kind of things get her fired up enough to come to the dojo a couple hours later and then go ahead and disrespect without worrying about consequences... then try and talk to her about the more philosophical sides of martial arts, and try and get her to try and be able to completely detach from everything that happened that day, and just train.. i dont know if that made any sense to you but it did to me while i was typing it... try to work with her on more the mental rather than the physical, get her to do some breathing exercises and things before class to fully calm herself down before she even enters the dojo...

i think this would help a great deal more than making her do push ups, as the burning in her arms would make her more upset, and feel like sparring even less do to the tired arms...

[bushido_man96]

Another tactic is to make the whole class to push ups or drills. That way, you have the entire dojo working with her rather than just you. This technique could backfire though if you do it all the time because your other students will start trying to avoid classes that she's in, but it is useful on occasion.

Very good advise; I second this. It will start to click a little if she knows she is affecting others, and not just her.

You're saying she's making slow progress though, and as long as there's progress there's hope. You just have to keep with it. If she were a kid I'd say she's trying to wait you out and see if you get tired of always correcting her.

Excellent point! Progress, albeit slow, is progress!

[bushido_man96]

Welcome to KF, by the way!

BTW, thanks for the welcome.

You are welcome! It's always good to see new faces.

[AikiGuy]

I only read about half of this thread but it already seems like this student is coping out on responsibility for her own actions. Firstly anyone who says on their own they have a problem already knows the problem very well and probably how to fix it. They are just unwilling to change their behavior. She seems to want you to "fix" her without her doing anything. That's not right. If she wants to be there to learn a new attitude then all you should have to do is say "jump" and she should jump. With the incident where she did not want to spar, I would have sent her out of the class for the rest of the day. Either she wants to participate and learn or she doesn't. I'm not accusing her of anything but it almost seems like a head game. She says "teach me". Then when you do, she says "Never mind, I don't want to learn". I would remind her that everything in class has a purpose whether she realizes it or not. And if she wants to really become a better person she should participate. Then leave it up to her. If she is an adult, you can't hold her hand forever. She should do it or not do it.

[UrAvgAzn]

Sounds like the old me as well. This seems like the kind of thing that gets worked out over a few months of class. They will generally get to enjoy the classes, and will learn respect.

Keep posting,

[bushido_man96]

If after some time of continuous disobedience, it doesn't hurt to put the pads on and just go at it!

[granmasterchen]

i wouldn't allow her to test until she changes her attitude period, i don't deal with those kinds of students, but that's me.

One thing that i have done to problem makers in the class, especially for fighting issues, is i make it a one on four match, take the problem maker and have her spar the the top four students in the class at the same time.....that will force her to spar on those nights that she doesn't want to, knock some sense into her and beat out that attitude, if she doesn't like it she can quit, it has to be something that she wants to change in herself, you can change someone that has an addiction, just like smoking and drinking, if they don't want to stop you can't make them stop.