Respect

[Mike Flanagan]

I don't have much to add in terms of advice on what to do. But rest assured that its often difficult in any endeavour (not just martial arts) to go from being one of the gang to being the instructor/boss/leader or whatever.

Its challenging enough learning to teach. But its doubly challenging when the students were recently your classmates. There will inevitably be some who resent your new status and will try to challenge your authority. Whatever strategy you take it will take time for things to settle down.

In the meantime:

- try to lead by example, rather than by discipline

- never get angry, or rather never show you're angry - the disruptive influences will know they're getting to you then and crank up the pressure

- be patient with disruptive students but make it clear that progress will only come with hard work and effort

Mike

[obiwansbane]

one thing you need to do, is, as unfortunate as it is, distance ureself from the students... you can no longer have a classmate relationship... you should no longer be buddy buddy its ok for jokes they just slide... if i was you i would resort to using last names for adressing people up until you actually have a measure of control over the students... one you have that u can tone it down a bit... because i know that is the exact same problem that one of our 17 year old blackbelts has even though hes had his belt for a couple years... he always used to be a push over, the nice guy, who never used authority... now when it comes to him being one of the main instructors and role models for the younger students, noone takes him seriously, and he doesnt know why...

its the same situation that you are in... so yah, become distant, border cold, until they realise that you are no longer their friend... they are there to learn, and you are there to teach, everyone has a place, and they must realise that theirs is lower than yours at that time....

[bushido_man96]

Good suggestions, obiwansbane.

[Neo Dragon]

Thats exactly what my problem is. Thank you alot. This is what I really need to do.

[obiwansbane]

hehe no problem i had just noticed that you had the same problem the above mentioned friend did, and i had actually talked to him about a few days before i saw your thread so the whole speech was still fresh in my mind...

good luck to you

[cathal]

Come on back to this thread in a few weeks and let us know how it's going.

[bushido_man96]

Yes, we love the updates!

[Neo Dragon]

sure will do.

[Sandan-]

Great feedback everyone.

I had somewhat of the same situation when I took over a club. I found the dis-respect to be short term. In my case it wasen't as bad as I was already a Shodan (1st Dan) and was running the class a lot when my Sensei was away. The key here is to take no crap, anytime!! Always follow through with disciplining and the respect will follow.

The students are actually putting there feelers out to see what they can/can't get away with. This usually happens from a disipline perspective which you have probably come across.

Your situation around the students telling you they don't need help, that's unacceptable. I would have a one-on-one discussion with the student and tell them this is how it is going to happen and if you don't accept instruction then you will need to resign from the dojo. This would be in addtion to having a meeting with your Sensei.

You will find this will get better after awhile but the biggest challenge is making sure this does not wear off onto other students (younger ones).

[username9715]

Okay I have a problem. In my school I have been promoted to assistant Instructor which is almost unheard of for anyone who is at the brown belt rank. My instructor has told me that since he is starting to get older it is becoming more difficult for him to keep maintaining the school so he want's me to someday take over for him. My problem is that some of the lower ranks are disrespecting me by telling me things like "oh I don't need help with that" or "i don't think that's the way it's supposed to be done", and they will sometimes goof off in class when Im teaching and not really listen. I tell them to stop, even threaten to make them do push ups; but they keep persisting.

I want to be able to maintain a stable environment without having to resort to "quit or Ill tell Sensei". It sounds childish and noone will ever respect me if I can't make them respect me on my own. I suppose I need to talk with my Sensei cause I dont think I actually can directly punish them myself.

Do any of you have any suggestions? This is starting to make me frustrated cause I don't think they take me seriously and it really ticks me off.

You have not earned their respect yet. Be fair, be persistant, be consistent, be honorable, lead by example. Practice.

Let you actions speak for you. If they will not follow then the atmosphere of the dojo is in need of adjustment which is not your responsibility.