Respect

[Neo Dragon]

Okay I have a problem. In my school I have been promoted to assistant Instructor which is almost unheard of for anyone who is at the brown belt rank. My instructor has told me that since he is starting to get older it is becoming more difficult for him to keep maintaining the school so he want's me to someday take over for him. My problem is that some of the lower ranks are disrespecting me by telling me things like "oh I don't need help with that" or "i don't think that's the way it's supposed to be done", and they will sometimes goof off in class when Im teaching and not really listen. I tell them to stop, even threaten to make them do push ups; but they keep persisting.

I want to be able to maintain a stable environment without having to resort to "quit or Ill tell Sensei". It sounds childish and noone will ever respect me if I can't make them respect me on my own. I suppose I need to talk with my Sensei cause I dont think I actually can directly punish them myself.

Do any of you have any suggestions? This is starting to make me frustrated cause I don't think they take me seriously and it really ticks me off.

[Rick_72]

A couple of things.

First, you may want to sit down and talk to your Sensei and let him know your problem. He in turn may make an announcment during line up to the effect of "so and so is my assistant instructor, what he says is as good as if it came from me, if he tells you to do it, just do it".

Secondly, I often have the same problem as a newer instructor at my school with some of the young ones. Reason being is their used to certain instructor's and haven't yet learned how to react to me. I would say instead of threatening push ups, just make them go do them. Make sure you move them off to the side and continue class. Threats that have yet to be backed up, are like a dog that barks but everyone knows won't bite.

You shouldn't get angry while instructing, ever. Those that would rather argue with you, or disrupt your class don't need to be on the floor. Kindly ask them to depart the mat, and continue their push ups elsewhere off to the side. If they decide they don't want to do the push ups, or whatever else interesting things you might have them do, tell them to leave your mats and go sit somewhere that their not going to disturb your class.

You'll notice that I used statements like "your mats", and "your class", because if your Sensei made you an assistant instructor he's charged you with the duties of teaching a class, and for that time period the mats belong to you, and its your responsibility to control your class. If one, or a few individuals enjoy disturbing the rest of the class than they have no business being there.

As far as those that think you have nothing to offer them, well that's pretty simple. When someone say's "I don't need help with that" you can retaliate with "do you do it as well as me?", followed up by a quick demonstration. If they don't, then chances are you won't get any more statements like that from them. Just make sure you have your stuff wired and polished if your going to use that tool.

[cathal]

I agree with Rick_72. You are there, you are in charge, it's your class, your matts. If they are not mature enough to learn from you then that's tough for them.

You were selected for a reason. Someone with that many years of experience is going to make sure their students are in good hands.

Even if you don't feel authoritative BE authoritative. Project the air of detached professionalism - if they don't cooperate and you feel you need to have them removed from class then do so. Instruct them to meet with you and your sensei to discuss their issues openly and like a mature adult.

Good luck, and congratulations.

[bushido_man96]

Rick has a lot of good things here that I would like to comment on.

First, you may want to sit down and talk to your Sensei and let him know your problem. He in turn may make an announcment during line up to the effect of "so and so is my assistant instructor, what he says is as good as if it came from me, if he tells you to do it, just do it".

Another thing you could do is to have the sensei teach several more classes, with you walking the floor with him, assisting him. Give some of the same comments that you gave previously, and then see how they react.

Secondly, I often have the same problem as a newer instructor at my school with some of the young ones. Reason being is their used to certain instructor's and haven't yet learned how to react to me. I would say instead of threatening push ups, just make them go do them. Make sure you move them off to the side and continue class. Threats that have yet to be backed up, are like a dog that barks but everyone knows won't bite.

Very good point. Just give them the pushups. An even better idea is wait until testing rolls around, and when they ask about testing, you tell them that you don't feel that they are ready because they have a problem with dealing with instructors respectfully at the school. Of course, this would be a last ditch effort, and hopefully would not come to this.

As far as those that think you have nothing to offer them, well that's pretty simple. When someone say's "I don't need help with that" you can retaliate with "do you do it as well as me?", followed up by a quick demonstration. If they don't, then chances are you won't get any more statements like that from them. Just make sure you have your stuff wired and polished if your going to use that tool.

This is an interesting idea, and I kind of like it. Another option is to wait until they do ask your advise, and you could tell them that you thought they already knew that, or something to that effect.

Make sure that when you teach, that you exude confidence. Project your voice when speaking, and walk erect. When I teach, I like to be nice. But when people start to test you, then it is time for the gloves to come off. It is your class, and you should run it your way. Many instructors, especially new instructors, go through phases like this. If you went and opened up your own school, with your own original students, you would not see this problem. People just don't adapt well to change.

The old school way of handling this was that the instuctor would just line the class up for sparring........

[Kieran-Lilith]

Don't threaten push-ups. Give them. Make the whole class pay for one disrespectful student, and eventually, the kid will stop because his classmates don't want to do anymore push-ups. Just make sure you change to student who you all do push-ups for.

Since I'm a girl, the kids are supposed to answer "Yes, ma'am!" when I ask a question. For the longest time, we had kids shouting "Yes, sir!" We did push-ups until nobody answered "sir" anymore, and I haven't heard the word "sir" directed at me since.

[Rick_72]

Don't threaten push-ups. Give them. Make the whole class pay for one disrespectful student, and eventually, the kid will stop because his classmates don't want to do anymore push-ups. Just make sure you change to student who you all do push-ups for.

Since I'm a girl, the kids are supposed to answer "Yes, ma'am!" when I ask a question. For the longest time, we had kids shouting "Yes, sir!" We did push-ups until nobody answered "sir" anymore, and I haven't heard the word "sir" directed at me since.

Hahaha, I like your style!

[Shui Tora]

All of the above statements are good advice! Follow them!

When I became assistant instructor, there were a couple of kids that basically did the same to me as they did to you... So one day, they played up again, and this time i told them to squat in the corner til I told them to join back on.... Unfortunately, i forgot about them for 20 mins (and our lessons are 2 hrs long with a break)... Anyhow, after that little incident they didn't annoy me again....

Yet they continued to say things like "it isn't meant to go like that..." and I caught one of them oof guard by saying, "how is it meant to go?" and they showed me, and of course i done it the way my Sensei taught me, and ironically, they got it wrong...

The thing is, some of them are young and so you have to keep on praising them so that they get the idea/concept... Also they see things differently and so how I might do it may be wrong to them, and so I try and reinforce the "proper" way of doing it so when it comes to the gradings, they get it right and pass their belt...

I was talking to some parents after a class and they said i was a good teacher (thinking i thought i was bad, trying to lift my esteem) and i told them that i want them to advance, but they mustn't mess about in class or they won't advance... I know they are young and have high energy, but they will get something wrong if they won't listen.... I don't mind spending more time going over something that they don't understand, that is how we learn, from our mistakes...

[ninjanurse]

And always remember....respect is earned not demanded.

[Kieran-Lilith]

Of course. The one incident I mentioned early is one way of stopping trouble. The way I prefer to do things is to get the kids to respect me because they like me and want to be like me.

With kids, you have to be able to work with them on their level. If it means kneeling down to explain something so they aren't afraid of the towering giant, do it. If it means crazy little analogies that fit into little kid worlds, use them. Push-ups are one tool, yes, but it's not always the best. I think the kids really like me because I make the effort to hear all their stories, know all their names, praise them, and correct them without telling them they're wrong. That, and I'm me, so I'm always happy and occasionally kid-ish myself, so they feel like they're talking to one of their own.

[Neo Dragon]

Thanks for the advice guys. I tried saying "so how should it be done" and then asked several questions on the integrity of there stance and they didn't know what to say. It worked; but ive still got a lot to learn. Plus this will help me if I ever have kids one day. Ive deffinitely fould that youve got to have more than a firm understanding of your system to be an instructor.