Dating "in-school"

[KarateK]

Spirit at choice you have hit the nail on the head. There are a few decent guys there but you just don't see them in the same light after all the sweat and toil during training!!

Its quite insulting when people think that you only train to meet men, I have had that reaction from friends in the past and its a bit infuriating. I love what I do, and you are that focused on your own training you barely notice anyone else - male or female

[Whitefeather]

that focused on your own training you barely notice anyone else - male or female

That is dead-on.

I say that we take all of the people on this planet that think that martial artists do what they do to meet fellas/ladies and ship them off to some mosquito infested island (or siberia, hmm....) in the middle of an ocean for a few years.

My personal thoughts.

David

[KarateK]

David - ever watched a programme called Lost? We can stuff them there x

[Whitefeather]

Ya, I watched a couple of episodes here and there. Usually I go to bed extremely confused after watching an episode of Lost. Anywhays, yes, that would be an excellent place to put all of "Those" people. Especially with that big monster. Hehe. Although, I do think that Siberia would deserve a fair consideration too. I mean, heck, they have that great big scary snowman, right?

David

[Sohan]

My dating in the dojo experience wasn't so great. I dated a girl who was a brown belt when I was a white belt---great girl but it was a disaster. We dated only three months but we were awkward together after, though we've always been very friendly. She ended up marrying a guy from our dojo and is very happy now, but he seems uncomfortable with me, to the point we have been somewhat testy in our light sparring sessions. He doesn't apparently get it that this was 7 years ago and I'm happily married now and not interested in his new wife. I expect things will smooth over with time...I hope.

Respectfully,

Sohan

[RichardHangHong]

It's a risky venture for all concerned but I think it depends on the maturity of the people involved. Many years ago I dated a student and we remained friends afterwards.

Also, when I started working full time with my club I flirted a lot with one of my co-workers for about a year. She stopped working due to a death in the family, 6 months later she walked into my dojo to start training again. After a couple of months we hooked up and 3.5 years later we're still together and are engaged to get married next summer.

One of my students had a similar experience. He met his (now) fiancee through training together in classes and being paired up at seminars.

So there ARE some positive stories/results out there, provided you're looking for a proper relationship and have a mature attitude, but if all you're interested in is dipping your wick around the club then it's a REALLY bad idea!!!!

[L0G1C]

For Instructors:

DON'T DATE YOUR STUDENTS!!!

It's different if you BRING a significant other INTO the martial arts. But your school is not your dating service. If you start this, your school will forever suffer. My Instructor has this as a rule. If he finds out that you are dating your student, the student will be barred from training (ever) at the school.

quote]

Though, I was thinking about trying to convince my girlfriend to start taking karate (she wants to). Bad idea?

Peace;

Parkerlineage

I can understand where a lot of y'all are coming from but I have two questions.

1) What are the politics and drama that come from bringing a bf/gf into your dojo. I'm trying trying to get the love of my life to join my Dojo, but it's an uphill battle.

2) What about inter-school dating. I went by my former dojo and thought about getting at a couple female students there.

[Kieran-Lilith]

Hmm...I don't think my school would ever have a dating problem. There's a bunch of kids, and then there's three teenagers, and then there's adults, most of which are married. The teens consist of me (the girl) and the two boys. Even hormones don't normally play much role because we're all too focused on the class.

LOG1C, I'm sorry I can't answer your questions. There's probably somebody around here who can, though.

[sabro]

I wish the instructors at my schools had followed their own code of ethics. Not only did they date their students, they broke up marriages. I quit.

[luckorskill007]

its all about how you go about things. Here's a personal story-

About a year ago a girl started taking taekwondo under my instruction. She was beautiful and smart. I was... energetic. Well she continued taking classes and since me and her were both in relationships we didnt think anything of our attraction. well my and my girlfriend and her and her boyfriend broke up around the same time about 4 months ago. I still liked her and asked her out. We made it clear before anything seriously started that this was going to stay professional and we were going to not make it public. After about a month of teaching her, we were seen together kissing at the mall by students . I thought OMG ITS GOING TO BE A BIG DEAL. well after a week everyone knew and thought it was cute blah blah blah. Well eventually we ended it well because im 18 and shes 23 and our relationship was more physical than emotional . Now Im running a different school but me and her are still friends and I teach her from time to time

MORAL OF THE STORY- Relationship are fine as long as you both understand the situation and discuss the professionalism and expectations clearly in the beginning.