Dating "in-school"

[Atalanta071]

Okay, my story...

WAY back on Day one of ninth grade, my friends introduce me to Green-belt boy. We didn't exactly get along with each other, we thought the other was a perfectionist. We both hated perfectionists. Sadly for us, we're on quiz bowl team and I sat between him and his former best friend in one of my classes, not to mention marching band.

Well, that took a while to clear up I wasn't "Angel Girl" as he once thought. We become friends... And he eventually got down on his knees and begged I join karate (not really, but he practically did so).

Thankfully, I loved karate. But soon enough, we weren't just friends anymore...

So now we have to deal with each other in karate, and the crap-load of hormones on top of it. I suppose it is a good thing, but recently a thirteen year old Blue belt (he's a really arrogant jerk, seriously) has joined the adult class and has stolen my training partner. I suppose it's a good thing, but I hate it.

And my poor oarnge belt friend.... she has to put up with us in school and everywhere else, too.

I don't have enough experience to say this, but I would recommend to not date people you MEET in the dojo. If you met them outside of class, I'd say that's cool. But this is my verdict from reading all these posts.

[Sam]

I thnik everyone has their own experience of this good and bad.... and it really depends on whether you have the will to make it work.

[Sabumnim]

I thnik everyone has their own experience of this good and bad.... and it really depends on whether you have the will to make it work.

Amen to that brother.

[UpTheIrons]

My simple advice regarding dating fellow martial arts students: DON'T.

I can't make it any plainer than that.

[Sam]

I disagree uptheirons - i would say generally dont..... but in some cases it works out... i dont think there is a plain black and white yes/no answer to whether its ok to date... depends on age / attitude / will.... among other thing.

[UpTheIrons]

I will say this: I don't really see a problem between black belts. Both are considered adults, so to speak. I strongly discourage dating between color belts who meet in class. I would almost say have a school policy against color belt dating.

[Sam]

I wouldnt have a policy, but i would discourage - still though people have their own minds and many MAs talk about the development of their students, adn relationships in / out of the dojang are an integral part of that development.

I dont think you can blanket this one with a yes / no answer - it really depends on who you're talking about.

[Enviroman]

It's not too different than dating in the work place. The general consensus is "don't do it." It generally leads to:

1) Preferential treatment (if a difference in rank exists...as in manager/subordinate or maybe black belt/colored belt).

2) Public bickering. Relationships go through tough spots. It happens...but when it spills over into work (or MA) you are now affecting others.

3) Loss of fun for all involved. If your relationship heads south, chances are you won't want to constantly be around that person on a daily basis. Unfortunately, this tends to force one or both parties to leave their place of work (or dojo).

Of course there are exceptions. I've read a lot of anecdotal "evidence" in this thread about people doing great after meeting at their dojo. But most of the time this is not the case. You may just save yourself a huge headache by not dating when you work/play

[MasterH]

Well, I married one of my students. As a mater of fact I would not marry her untill she earned her black belt, I'm a member of a family with 9 seperate black belts ranging from 1st degree (wife, ATA TKD & HTF TKD) to 7th degree (uncle USTF & ITF) Well after her test I was able to present her with her black belt with my last name on it.

For the most part dating in the school is not a good idea. It creates to many problems in the long run. I'm such a hypocrite.

[Menjo]

Well, I married one of my students. As a mater of fact I would not marry her untill she earned her black belt, I'm a member of a family with 9 seperate black belts ranging from 1st degree (wife, ATA TKD & HTF TKD) to 7th degree (uncle USTF & ITF) Well after her test I was able to present her with her black belt with my last name on it.

For the most part dating in the school is not a good idea. It creates to many problems in the long run. I'm such a hypocrite.

lol interesting