What to do?

[Toby]

Okay, this guy threatened to kill me twice (at the time people were there to protect me).

First time he says I said some not so nice things about him (which for the record, I didn't, but I still tried apologising to him, he wouldn't have a bar of it).

Second time he had my bro on the floor chocking him (or something to that affect, arm around his neck), not sure how it started, they were both mucking around with cream, putting it on eachothers faces, he obviously didn't like to get back what he gave, so I got involved and it started again, plus he calls us Handicaped/Cripple sometimes. I get sick of it. (We can't help how we are. I mean we can still do everything normal, just not as perfect as some other prerson... if that makes sense?)

Third time was only verbal, last night.

What should I do?

I mean, I haven't fought properly yet (and don't intend to, unless I have to fend him off), but he keeps pushing the fact that me and my twin bro arn't perfect. He needs to learn a lesson.

I'll only go to the police as an absolute last resort, I'd rather try sort it out myself.

What do you all think?

Opinions appreciated.

Toby

Edit: Probably the wrong place, but I'm so used to veiwing/posting here... Mods move if you feel it appropriate.

PS: We are on the same football team and have the same mates, so it's kind of hard to avoid him. We end up in the same places most of the time.

[tufrthanu]

Restraining order is step one. If someone threatens to kill you it only takes once for them to follow through. But at least the police will have them on record.

[Toby]

Restraining order is step one. If someone threatens to kill you it only takes once for them to follow through. But at least the police will have them on record.

I agree with that, but... I don't want to go that far.

I want to try and sort it myself, without the authorities.

I'll see what happens.

Thanks for the reply.

[ps1]

You're talking about the football team. Are you still in school?

[bushido_man96]

You need to alert someone about his actions. Supervisors, teachers, anyone who will listen. Also, keep hanging out in groups. That should help. Otherwise, go to the police. Better safe than dead.

[tufrthanu]

The point of the restraining order is to get on record the fact that he has threatened the person. And when dealing with people that say they are going to kill you and show signs of physical violence I think it would be much wiser to report it than to try to deal with it yourself.

[bushido_man96]

The point of the restraining order is to get on record the fact that he has threatened the person. And when dealing with people that say they are going to kill you and show signs of physical violence I think it would be much wiser to report it than to try to deal with it yourself.

That's good advise!

[cathal]

There are certain things in life that must be dealt with the help of others. You can place yourself in the centre of things as much as possible of course. You can advise whomever you wish to and let them know you are trying to work it out. But the simple fact you're posting here means you feel that this person could follow through with their threats. So definitely go with tufrthanu's advice and let someone know.

[masterintraining]

i would voice my opnion but so far ever1 else has said how i felt about the situation in there posts so i guess i dont need to, say anything else except try and avoid him, but if that dose not work, .... well u know when the line is cross.

[Jiffy]

Forget the restraining order, you won't get one. I too live in South Australia and they are not that simple. You need three documented acts of actual violence or threats of a mortal nature that were both likely and achievable. After you go to the police with these, they will investigate the case and decide if a restraining order is warranted bearing in mind the likelyhood of an attack and the impact it will have on the two people and the other people around them. In your case, being in the same teams, it's not likely you will be given one without serious fights having already occured. In addition, if you are underage, they will bring councellors in before they will even consider a restraining order. So in short, forget that option.

The best things you can do to start with is obviously avoid the danger to start with. If it's bad, keep away from him. Change group of friends etc, change football teams or do whatever is necessary to get out of that situation. The next thing you can do is keep a diary of any incidents that occur. Regardless of weather it is threats or actual violence, document them. You will need to document the day and time it happened, what actually happened, what the events were leading up to it and who any witnesses were. In the event it does get worse and you are trying to prove that you are not the agressor, this will give you some backup. It will also help if you eventually go down the track of a restraining order. The next thing you can do is to talk to someone in authority about it. If you talk to someone before the even occurs, it holds a lot more weight than if you talk to them afterwards. Be aware though that if you talk to a teacher or councellors about it, they are mandatory notifiers. That means that if they suspect abuse is occuring, they are required by law to notify the appropriate authorities.

Hope this helps.